Re: Gutter Report

[keeper444@xxxxxxxxx]

To: Director Of Public Safety SECLGA
a.k.a.: Vampire Fruit Bat
From: Undercover Scooter-Trash local #805 a.k.a.: Trouble making Badger
Subject: Replay to Gutter Report (selected sections)

As certain claims, questions, and accusations have been recently brought
to light I feel it is my responsibility to reply from the lower end of
said gutter. Hey we ain't classy but we are here.

Item 3:The demonic twin red headed clowns have been in deep negotiations
with certain unnamed denizens of the lower gutter zone and have agreed
to a non-aggression pact vowing to only terrorize aforementioned Xander
Harris and to leave all gutter dwellers in peace.
BTW they are in no way related to the demonic cabbage patch and want
that clearly understood. Please, in future do not group them together.

Item 4: Regarding the terrorist and murder and music mutilator Elmer
Fudd. It is believed that Fudd's most prevalent threat has been
neutralized since a certain badger chewed his trigger fingers off for
the attempt by Fudd on a certain dark bunny-slayer known as Faith.
The posters are to remind everyone that there are still Fudd-like
individuals out there and until they have been neutralized every one
should watch their fluffy little tails.

Item 5: The office of gutter security should be informed that all said
poker games and rummy tournaments are social gatherings for fun and
recreation only, and constitutionally protected. These are delicate
matters people, and should not be interfered with. If you don't like
Blondie and Queen played at their proper decibel level, then get ear
plugs, but there may be some Deep Purple and Yes added for variety. And
those were *not* prank calls,the sky really was falling!
BTW all hyper-scalpels have been sharpened for the up coming weasel-boy
round up and neutering festival sponsored by Gutter-Dwelling
Scooter-Trash Brother/Sisterhood local #805. Ya'all be sure and join the
fun. BYOR.

Item 6: Next time either lock the liquor cabinet or the dorm your
choice. Sammy should be fine as soon as the eucalyptus-jack has aged a
day. Until then, hey cheer up he could be singing off key Slim Whitman.

That's all from this end of the gutter for now. Enjoy yourselves.

Alex
(Unofficial Village Idiot,
undercover gutter-dwelling scooter-trash,
part time trouble making badger,
and holy spook)
.............................
Don't sweat the petty things --- Pet the sweaty things.
~A~
............................
There is no gravity...the Earth sucks!
~Newton's little brother~
............................
{Proud Member}... BtVS Writers Guild....because Fiction makes anything
possible.