To: The director of Public Safety, All department heads, and all list members
From: Unofficial roamer of the list gutter
Subject: Response to the Gutter Report
In regards to item 5: The all night poker games and Rummy tournaments are perfectly legal. As for the decibel level of the music Sammy the Koala has assured me that it is a perfectly acceptable level and said that we should be glad he doesn’t start playing Ska. Also well informed sources within the woodland community have reported that the petition to have the remaining weasel boys all neutered from the shoulders up, is indeed true and that several hundred signatures have already been collected.
In regards to item 6: When asked about the incident all Sammy would say is jungle juice good.
Sam,
Unofficial roamer of the list gutter, Sammy the Koala, listanity deity of nonsensical mayhem.
--The earth is the insane asylum of the universe.