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List Gutter Affairs Safety Report
To: The Director of
Public Safety
Subject:Missing
Attack Lawyer and 3 naked Gabrielle's in the Sunnydale Forest Woods
Outback.
Shadow,
Several
members of the Woods Outback have mentioned seeing a naked Gabrielle frolicing
in the Woods ever since you joined the Merwolf Pack. While seeing a naked (and
we guess lovely) blonde human in the forest and swimming in our river is bad
enough. She seems to be chased? by a tall, dark haired warrior woman. This has
caused my favorite attack lawyer, Bobo, to go chasing after them both and he has
not been seen for days now.
So to all pack
members, if you see my attack lawyer roaming about (You can't miss him he's
short, wears glasses and a dark brown suit and tie) please let me know and do
not poke or laugh at him as he is sensitive about his looks will immediately
launch vicious and unfounded litigations at the closest
person.
And to my friends
in the Woods Outback, that blonde is not the human Buffy Slayer but someone
named Gabrielle, who has a rather possessive, tall and dark-haired lover named
Xena (Is that a strange name or what? But they are humans so what do you
expect?) No teasing or dropping pine cones on them! (This means you Sammy and
your fellow cohorts the Bunny Slayer, Willow the Red fox and Shy-fox)
That is all for
now, you may now return to your reguarly scheduled fanfics.
Oh yes, before I
forget. Tater, you should warn the UVE (United Vegetable Empire) members that
this Gabrielle likes to cook using vegetables, warn your members to look out for
her and have the Vampire Tomatoes stay far away. It has been rumoured that the
human, Xena, likes to eat raw, Vampire Tomatoes at least several times a month.
Vice-President of Monetary Embezzlement and
Lawyerial Affairs to the Senior Executive Committe of List Gutter
Affairs.
Backup (or is that Safety?) Bartender to Sam I Am
the Koala
Resident Gopher of the Sunnydale Forest Woods
Outback
Proud Gopher Papa to Matthew Timothy
Gopher
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