Re: End of the Month State of the Gutter Report

[Tater <tater@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

TO: The Director of Public Safety
FROM: United Vegetables Empire
SUBJECT: Item 7 of the End of the Month State of the Gutter Report


> Item 7:
> Security has been getting reports of little blue creatures, wearing
> white, that seem to have moved into a mushroom patch near the demonic
> cabbage patch, further reports have the creatures constantly repeating
> the same word and singing something that sounds like "la-la-la" all the
> time. At the moment we have no information regarding the origin of
> these creatures, however we are prone to believe that they are an
> unfortunate byproduct of the aforementioned demonic cabbage patch or
> possible the "Joxer: Prince of Warriors Society", who we believe may
> have been eating the mushrooms. Either way please stir clear of the
> mushroom patch and report all sightings of the little blue creatures.
> However we do caution just stepping on the things, at the moment we are
> unsure if they will leave an unsightly stain on the bottom of your shoe
> or if the stain may try to eat through the shoe itself.


Upon thorough investigation, the UVE has determined that not only do the
demonic cabbages have no connection to the little blue creatures, the
possessed cabbages are actually afraid of them. In fact, any mention of the
blue creatures is met with wails of sheer terror from the demonic cabbages.
In light of this information, it is the recommendation of the UVE that the
matter of the little blue creatures be immediately addressed with large
quantities of napalm. Anything that scares the cabbages can't be good.


tater (Vegetables of the world unite!)
Head of the United Vegetable Empire