Re: ::BuffyWantsWillow:: End of the Month State of the Gutter Report - July 2001

[Tater <tater@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

TO: The Director of Public Safety
FROM: The United Vegetable Empire
SUBJECT: Items 2 and 3 of the End of the Month State of the Gutter Report
for July 2001


> Item 2:
> Regarding the missing vampire tomatoes, they have been found... although I'm
> not sure if Tater wants them back. When they were last seen they were
> surrounding and worshipping a can of tomato soup and speaking about the
> coming of the great cauliflower the messiah who will lead them to the
> promised garden. Now Tater we've had this talk before about the Veggies
> being your department and the vampire tomato/vampire fruit bat war being
> allowed to continue as long as they observe the no drive-by juicings in the
> Gutter rule. However, I am going to have to put my foot down on this one...
> they are beginning to scare the Silent Panicky Gopher who Steals Jungle
> Juice for Koala's son.

Oh dear. It sounds like they have stayed out in the wilderness too long and
gotten a bit fermented. We will round them up and take them in for detox
and deprogramming immediately. They are clearly unwell. Everyone knows
that the messiah will be a yam.


> Item 3:
> The dark slayer has a vintage Harley 1945 low rider... and she is riding it
> up and down the Gutter with the little redhead on back. Yes I am aware of
> the situation... however, do YOU want to be the one to tell the
> semi-reformed homicidal chosen one she can't ride her bike at 3 in the
> morning with a barely dressed hacker on back?? Volunteers will report for
> immediate testing at the psycho-ward at Sunnydale General.


We could send the vampire tomatoes to do it. If I have my office flunky
cauliflower tell them to, in their current state I'm sure they would. It
would save us the cost of the tomato rehab.


tater (Vegetables of the world unite!)
Head: United Vegetable Empire