Re: FIC: STILL STRUGGLING (6/?) PG-ish

["Mike" <mcronin24@xxxxxxxxx>]

Red,
Really, really enjoying this. Get lots of rest and then please, please
continue. Buffy and Willow belong together but it's hard to see Tara hurt.
As for Riley, I think Amy could use some company :-)

toda
-mike
----- Original Message -----
From: "Red Willow" <nick_elodian@xxxxxxxxx>
To: <buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, June 07, 2002 5:31 AM
Subject: FIC: STILL STRUGGLING (6/?) PG-ish


> me again. here's another part of the story... no sex in this one... i am
trying to be good <g>
> hope you enjoy,
> RW
>
>
> Title: Still Struggling
> Author: Red Willow
> Email: St8sboroblues@xxxxxxxxx or nick_elodian@xxxxxxxxx
> Disclaimer: All characters and references to belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, and all them
> other folks <G> I'm just using them to make my own little fun. However
the story belongs to me
> only. You may post or distribute only with permission from and credit to
me.
> So just ask <G> And if you don't like the idea of Willow and Buffy
together then... why are you
> reading this?
> Rating: PG-R (as it might progress from one to the other)
> Pairing: Willow/Buffy
> Summary: Buffy struggles over her feelings for Willow and stumbles upon
something interesting...
> this continues the story...
> This is part 6 in a ? part series (though 7 will probably be the last for
good). Thoughts will be
> expressed in < and > brackets... This covers some info from Seasons 2-4
> Hope you enjoy. Feedback? I thrive on feedback.
>
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> "Oh. my. God." I blurt, turning over and falling onto the bed. Panting,
the two of us slick with
> sweat, we simply lay staring at the ceiling. "Talk about. pent up
frustration."
> "Pent up. very pent. yes." Willow pants out, wiping the beads of sweat off
her forehead. We lay
> like this for a very long time, our bodies coming back down from that
sexual high that moments ago
> had us riding waves of pleasure. I roll over on my side, facing her, and
put my hand on her
> chest, above her heart. It's steadily slowing as is mine. I'm aware of
the shadows crossing the
> room now, the light shifting, changing directions. Time stretching out
around us as if we weren't
> apart of it. But I know better. Soon we will have to leave this
sanctuary. Soon we will have to
> get up out of this bed that we've made ours. Get up, probably shower,
<yeah, you could definitely
> use one sticky-icky> maybe even face people. I make a noise similar to a
grunt and throw my arm
> up, my forearm resting on my forehead.
> "You ok?" She asks tilting her head towards me.
> "Nmm..no.."
> "What.?"
> " I don't want to get up. Don't wanna leave here. ever." I tell her,
putting on my pouty face.
> "I-I know. Grumble grumble."
> "But I guess we have to get up. and. do things." I sit up, attempting to
wrap the sheet around my
> body.
> "Aww, poor slayer."
> ".like. like see other people. and I guess at some point, I need to.
patrol."
> "Yep, that would be of the good."
> "But I don't have to like it!" I continue pouting as I finish wrapping the
sheet around me and
> crawl over her almost completely expose body to get out of bed. Sure I
could have gotten out on
> my side, but what would have been the fun in that? And so, here I stand in
the middle of our dim
> dorm room wrapped in nothing but Willow's cool cotton sheet. I grin down
at her and she's got this
> huge smile on. "See something you like?" I ask semi-seductively. I
couldn't go another round.
> Well, not right this minute anyway. Give me a few minutes and I might.
> "Mmm hmm, "she starts, sitting up and pulling the blanket off the floor to
cover her legs and
> tummy. "Y-you look good in just my sheet."
> "Yeah well, you know me. always stylishly dressed. no matter what the
occasion!" And with that I
> pull up some of the excess, exposing a bare leg, and twirl slightly, only
half aware of how giddy
> I feel. She laughs, covering her mouth slightly as I almost bust my butt.
>
> KNOCK*KNOCK*KNOCK
>
> At the sound of the knocking on our door we both stop in mid-laugh, a deer
caught in headlights
> look on our faces as we turn toward our heads, looking at the door.
> Another short knock and "Riley" <HaHa. perfect timing. why not tell him
now!>
> "O-oh Geeze, yeah. Buffy. he said he was going to. come over here."
> A huge grin spreads across my face before I even realize what I'm thinking
about. <just open that
> door and see you and Will like this and let him figure it out.> No way!
> That's, that's. so. <so very naughty!>
> "Buffy.?"
> I turn and cross the distance between where sanity lays and the wooden
door leading to the insane
> things I always find myself doing.
> "Buffy! W-what are you doing?!" I hear Willow shout behind me. I'm vaguely
aware of her
> scrambling for better coverage of her naked skin.
> I open the door in all my naked-except-for-Will's-sheet glory, about to
tell Riley a head full
> when I stop dead on, my mouth hung open for words that died somewhere
before fed sound. Staring
> back at me in a wave of shock was.
> "Tara." I finally breath.
> "Uh. uhh. I w-was looking for W-w-willow." she finally gets out. It's too
late however, as her
> eyes move past mine to Willow's bed, to Willow, naked except for the
blanket she had hastily tried
> to cover herself with. Her eyes go even wider, if it's even possible, and
she steps back, mouth
> hung wide as I'm sure mine still is. "I-I. uh.. " but nothing more comes
out. She shakes her head
> in disbelief.
> "Tara!" Willow shouts, trying desperately to break free of the bed and
it's linen without
> disrobing or falling. I take a couple steps away from the door, looking
down at how I must look,
> before glancing at Willow's pained attempt to make everything all right.
> "Tara. I. we." I can't say anymore however, <and what good would it do.
haven't you done enough
> already?> But I. <look how hurt she is!> I didn't mean to. I was just
going to. Riley. But what's
> the use in trying to argue my way out of it. I opened that door, only
thinking of how funny it
> would be to see Riley's face. I never thought though, that it could be
someone else. That, it
> could be Tara.
> "Tara. wait." I hear Willow say to Tara through the doorway as the
brunette turns in a daze.
> "Tara." Willow's voice again. "Please stop." She reaches out touching an
arm, attempting to stop
> the distraught woman. But Tara pulls free and whirls around on Willow.
> "W-why? s-so you can tell. how it's not w-w-what it looks like?!" Tara
practically yells at
> Willow, raking her eyes up and down my beautiful red-head's disheveled and
obviously has been
> having sex recently body.
> "N-no. " Willow begins but can't seem to find words. I snap out of my
momentary haze and walk to
> the doorway where the two are facing each other. One pleading for
forgiveness, understanding. The
> other shooting daggers. I glance around the hallway, and realize that
there are two guys and a
> girl a couple doors down that are staring at us.
> "Please." I start, coming up right behind Will, facing Tara now. "Don't
hate her. You can hate
> me, take your anger out on me all you want. B-but don't hate Will."
> She just stares at me briefly, disbelieving, then glances back at Willow.
> "I c-can't believe this.."
> Willow glances back at me, a plea etched into her features. But I'm not
sure how to help.
> "T-Tara. I. I'm in love with her." Willow finally says looking back at
Tara, whose gaze shoots to
> me, then down to the floor. "I-I just. we finally. yesterday."
> "So." Tara starts, "you just-"
> "WHAT?!" Riley's angry outburst cuts Tara's words short as we all turn to
face a very angry and
> confused soldier.
> <Shit> I guess this is where it gets even better. And me with only this
sheet on. <Nice Summers,
> real nice> Ever been caught cheating? In only a sheet? By both your
lover's girlfriend and your
> boyfriend?
> I suddenly find myself very nauseous. My palms are sweaty, my head hurts,
and I have these
> annoying black spots in front of my face. I have this feeling that my
knees are not going to hold
> me anymore and somewhere far away I hear a very angry male voice yelling.
> "What in the hell is this? You got to be kidding me!"
> "Riley." Willow's voice, I'm sure of it.
> "Wh-who?"
> Willow glances at Tara, "Buffy's boyfriend."
> "Oh."
> "Is someone going to explain all. this. to me" I hear him say and am
vaguely aware of a sweeping
> motion with his arm.
> I have hold on to the wall for support as I realize my body doesn't want
to stand up on it's own
> anymore. Everything starts to fade.
> "Buffy! What is going on?!" he roars at me, grabbing my arm.
> "Hey!" Willow's at my side now, holding my body up. "Get your hands off
her!"
> "W-will. I think she's."
> "Oh Goddess! Buffy!" I hear Willow scream as everything goes dim and I
feel myself slide away
> from them.
>
> How is it that everything which seems so complicated, so difficult to
understand and deal with,
> can come crashing apart leaving only clarity and complete understanding.
only to be wound back up
> again into a jumble of badness?
> I have to think about what's important to me. What my priorities are.
Slaying, that's
> definitely up there. Chosen One and all. School. Well, I mean, it's a
good thing, to pass, I
> mean. Graduate. But in the whole scheme of things, what does a degree mean
for the Slayer? Will
> it help me kill vampires and demons and all those eeky ooglies that come
out to cause the end of
> the world? Nope. Priorities. Family and Friends. Saving the world so
that they can keep on
> living. Mom and the scoobies. The scoobies. Willow.
> She is my one light at the end of the tunnel. When I'm lost she finds me.
When I need comfort
> she hold me. She loves without question. Loves me. Yes, she loves me and
I love her, and there
> are no doubts now. Only us. Willow. Willow and Buffy. Willow and Buffy
together. Willow and.
> "Buffy?"
> "I-I think she's c-coming around."
> "I just don't understand what the hell happened between yesterday and
today!"
> "Would you shut up! Buffy? Buffy, it's Will. do you hear me?
> "W-will?" I'm finally able to get out, realizing that I'm not standing up
anymore.
> "Hey. are you. ok?" She asks. I'm slowly becoming aware of my
surroundings. Willow holding my
> head, Tara standing behind her, concerned, though she must still be
furious, and off to my left, a
> still ranting and raving Riley. I don't pay attention to him though. I
hear words, cruel,
> accusatory, angry words. but they mean nothing to me.
> "Willow." is all I can get out, because I'm lost in those eyes.
> "M-maybe you should put her in y-your room." volunteers Tara.
> I shake my head, raising myself up, holding onto Willow for support. "I.
I'm ok. I just, I."
> "Fainted. I-I think you. fainted." Willow finishes, leading me to my still
made bed.
> Everyone's quiet now, even Riley. I can sense however, the tension, the
unanswered questions,
> and blazing glares. My head clears and slowly I look up at 3 faces, each
casting conflicting
> emotions.
> "I guess we have some explaining to do. huh?" I finally ask.
> '"You bet your ass you do!" Growls Riley, glaring at me before looking
Willow up and down with
> utter disgust.
> <yes. yes you do.>
>
>
>
>
>
> I will get what i believe will be the conclusion to you probably in the
next day or too.. i'm
> really tired right now and have to get some sleep before i head to work
again... aargh!
> =====
> "What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound
> anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that
> as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like
> beautiful music"
> -Soren Kierkegaard
>
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