OT: Humour - The Tandem Story

>   Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from
>   Venus"?
>
>   Here's a prime example offered by an English professor
>   from the University of Phoenix:
>   >From a class exercise.
>
>   "Today we will experiment with a new form called the
>   tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
>   pair off with the person sitting to
>   his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one
>   of you will write the first paragraph of a short
>   story. You will e-mail your partner that
>   paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner
>   will read the first paragraph and then add another
>   paragraph to the story and send it back
>   also sending another copy to me. The first person will
>   then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.
>   Remember to re-read what has been
>   written each time in order to keep the story coherent.
>   There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the
>   e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written
>   in the e-mail.
>
>   The story is over when both agree a conclusion has
>   been reached."
>
>   The following was actually turned in by two of my
>   English students:
>
>   Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name
>   deleted).
>
>   ----------------------------------------------------------------
>   THE STORY:
>   (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>   At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
>   wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite
>   for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her
>too much of Carl, who once said, in
>   happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt
>   she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
>   off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if
>   she thought about him too much her asthma started
>   acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
>
>   -----------------------------------------------------------
>   (second paragraph by Gary)
>   Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the
>   attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
>   important things to think about
>   than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo
>   named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
>   over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to
>   Geostation 17,?%?*?? he said into his transgalactic communicator.
>"Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he
>could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a
>   hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
>him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
>
>
>   ----------------------------------------------------------
>   (Rebecca)
>   He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but
>   not before he felt one last pang of regret for
>   psychically brutalizing the one woman who
>   had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
>   stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful
>   farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War
>   and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
>   simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
>   dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and
>   carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her
>from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
>   "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
>   wistfully.
>
>   ---------------------------------------------------------
>   (Gary)
>   Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds
>   to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
>   Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
>   lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
>   peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
>   Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth
>   a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who
>   were determined to destroy the human race. Within two
>   hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian
>   ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough
>   firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
>   to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical
>   plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
>   atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret
>   Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off
>   the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive
>   explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85
>   million other Americans. The President slammed his
>   fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this!
>   I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of
>   the sky!"
>
>   ----------------------------------------------------------
>   (Rebecca)
>   This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
>   writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
>   ----------------------------------------------------------
>   (Gary)
>   Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
>   whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent
>   of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I
>   have some other sort of FUCKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such
>   an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele
>   novels."
>
>   ----------------------------------------------------------
>   (Rebecca)
>   Asshole.
>   ----------------------------------------------------------
>   (Gary)
>   Bitch.
>   --------------------------------------------------------
>   (Rebecca)
>   DICK!
>   ---------------------------------------------------------
>   (Gary)
>   Slut.
>   ---------------------------------------------------------
>   (Rebecca)
>   Get fucked.
>   ----------------------------------------------------------
>   (Gary)
>   Eat shit.
>   ---------------------------------------------------------
>   (Rebecca)
>   FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
>   ----------------------------------------------------------
>   (Gary)
>   Go drink some tea - whore.
>   **********************************************
>
>   (TEACHER)
>   A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A.