'My Willow' (1/1) - PG - Buffy/Willow

["Louise ." <iwantyourblood@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: My Willow (1/1)
Author: Louise
Email: iwantyourblood@xxxxxxxxxxx
Website: http://iwantyourblood.tripod.com/underyourspell
Rating: PG
Paring: B/W
Spoilers: Some big spoilers if you haven’t seen from the start of season 4
to the end of Season 6.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just borrowing and playing around.
Feedback: Yes please, this was my first Buffy/Willow fic.
Summary: How Buffy feels for Willow.
Notes: Buffy’s point of view.

^^^^

I look at her and I don’t recognise her, what she’s become. She has been my
best friend for six years. From the very moment I met her I knew there was
something there, I didn’t know what it was at first, but then I realised...I
was in love with her. I still am. But she has changed so much, so fast.
We have shared so much together; it’s unbelievable how much. But this isn’t
her, this isn’t my Willow. This isn’t the woman I fell so deeply in love
with. This isn’t the woman I have protected with my life countless times.
As I look into her eyes I don’t see what I’ve desired for all these years.
All I see is hatred, rage and revenge.
But she is not seeking revenge for my murder. No. She seeks revenge for the
killing of her love, Tara.
When she told me that she was in love with this girl it felt as if she
grabbed my heart and ripped it into thousands of jagged pieces and stuffed
it back into my chest. For weeks even the mere sight of Tara brought me
close to tears. Was it jealousy? No. It was sadness, regret for not moving
in sooner. I could see it coming, after Oz left her, someone would soon take
my Willow’s heart in return for theirs...Why couldn’t it be me?
As their relationship built and got stronger each day I felt like I was
dying. It was so hard knowing that she belonged to another.
Then came the unforgettable night of my death. I knew it was the only way to
end the pain, end the longing to have her in my arms. Then, at last, it did.
Everything stopped as I jumped. It was all so clear. For what seemed a
lifetime and more I was in heaven.
When they brought me back it hit me again. All of the feelings came rushing
back and it was too much, I couldn’t bare it any longer...So I turned to
Spike. I tried to dump all of the emotion onto him, but it didn’t work, I
just hurt him...and myself...even more.
Then finally the day came when they broke up. My beloved Willow was free.
But I didn’t feel relieved, I felt sorrow for her. She loved Tara so much,
with every inch of her being. She couldn’t live without her...And I know how
that feels...I know that Willow doesn’t love me like I love her, but I’d
rather see her with her love than alone and empty...She has so much love to
give. I didn’t hate Tara. I don’t even now. She was a wonderful person. I
grieved after her death.
The fiery hair that I adore is a mass of black, as are her clothes and her
large, powerful eyes. She used to survive on love and friendship, but now
all she cares for is magik and payback.
I tried to help her stop. We all did. I desperately wanted her to stop
because I knew that if she gave herself up to the dark magik she would never
come back.
But as I stand here face-to-face with my love I know I can reach her...I
have to; for all I am, for all I’ll ever be. I need her to come back to me.
I tell her that I love her over and over. She doesn’t want to listen,
doesn’t want to know. So I reach out and touch her. I feel her pain in
waves...And I know she can feel my love. We are connected, for the first
time in so long...
She falls into my awaiting arms, crying like she’ll never be able to stop. I
stoke her hair and at the touch of my hand it turns back to the warm red it
used to be. I feel her grip tighten around me. I reached her...I reached her
with my love. She is back. My Willow is finally back.

^^^^

End.

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