Re: Fic: "Life: Version 2.0" (2/?)

[danspector@xxxxxxxxx]

Yosh,

Well, well. Playing with the past isn't so easy, unfortunately. This
has to completely devastate Willow, since Oz is dead because of
decisions she made, using her "future" authority.  

The character death warning in the header made for an effective suspense
generator, btw. I was quite worried for Cordy when she went to get the
donuts, for example. But, logically, it had to be Oz.

Be interesting to see what happens next. One problem with "fix it" fics
is that you tend to run out of villains. I suppose Rollerboy might hop
out of his chair ahead of schedule...

Thanks, 

Dan

PSaww, you didn't think you were getting off that easy, didja? Yup,
it's Nitpick Central time again!

Stuff that's acceptable:

Willow knowing about Buffy and Jenny's final conversationI suppose
Buffy might have told her, difficult subject though it must have been.

Everybody referring to "Angelus". Even though this is just fanon (only
Spike and Jenny [once] and Tector Gorch used the name in S2), I suppose
Willow coming back to tell the gang that "Angel" eventually does return
could lead Buffy and Giles to verbally differentiate in a way they never
did in Season 2.

Drusilla being at the school. Hey, for all we know, she might have
been...

Stuff that's dubious:

Willow starting the ritual in Latin, when she knows that once the spirit
(apparently not Jenny, since Jenny's still alive here) possesses her, it
spoke in Rumanian. I had the same problem with "Orpheus"the ritual
only works in Rumanian, so speak in Rumanian. OTOH, at least you
included the possession element"Orpheus" had Willow acting like this
was some easy spell she did all by her lonesome.

Stuff that's just an editing mistake:

Buffy telling Jenny that the file is downloading to Giles's computer
from "Ms. Calendar's". Er, Buffy, that IS Ms. Calendar you're talking
to, you can use the second person, okay?

Stuff that's just wrong:

Giles calling Cordelia "Cordy". Yeah, and he calls Xaner "Xan", too.

OTOH, nobody said "Wills", so I'd better quit while I'm ahead :)

Thanks again.