Afterlife Happens (6a/?) B/W PG

Title: Afterlife Happens

Author: Ivy Gort

Spoilers: Up to Afterlife

Email: Ivygort@xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rating:PG

Feedback: Yes, Please! I live on it!

Archive: Please Ask.

Pairing: Buffy and Willow

Previous Parts: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=30044

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I'm just torturing them for you.

Summary: Willow has to deal with the consequences of her actions.

BETA: Ann Marie is the Great Goddess, without her this part would be in shambles.

Note: I took "liberties" with the Myth of Oirsis, Seth, and Isis.

I follow Giles down the stairs, he has his glasses in one hand, and he?s holding on to the banister with the other. Each step is slowand deliberate. I can?t tell if he?s having trouble negotiating the stairs or if he?s just using the time to process what he found. When he left a few days ago Buffy was dead; now she?s alive.

But now he knows the entire truth; she?s alive--only she wants to be dead. I guess it?s a huge shock for him. I don?t know. I don?t want to know.

I decide to break the ice, and it was ice I was feeling off of Giles. Or fire? Fire and Ice?

?How did you gethere so soon?? I remember that he told me it would take a few days to get the tickets and clear up loose ends with the council.

?What?? He asks looking back over his shoulder. ?Oh, yes, well it was Anya?s friend Hallie? Wasn't it Anya?? He says reaching the bottom of the stairs.

Xander touches my shoulder from behind; I think it?s in support. I?m not sure because I?ve had to shut down. All my energy has tobe given to Buffy or to keep the Power from rising. I have nothing to spare.

?Yes, Hallie owed me a favor so I ?wished? Giles was here.? She tells me as she rushes over to Giles. ?Was I right?? She asks him, it?s unusual to see her so nervous and upset.

?Anya?? Xandersays from behind me and walks over to her to give her hug. It seems to be an unspoken agreement that my confession to Giles will take place in here, the place where Buffy found her mother dead.

Xander engulfs herin a tremendous hug. ?I love you, and I know you didn?t mean to rip Buffy from heaven.? She tells him when he releases her.

?After what Willow said this morning I did a little more checking into the,? she pulls away from Xander and uses her fingers to put quotation marks in the air. ?The Slayer goes to Hell thing.? She finishes.

?And?? He motions her to hurry up the explanation but it seems that Giles is out of patience.

?And she found out that it?s nearly impossible for a Slayer to be cast into Hell, unless the Slayer is physically living, and then they usually die before the denizens of place can have their way with her.? Giles finishes and turns to look directly at me. ?But of course if you had done just the modicum of research you would have found that out.?

Giles is shaking in rage. I have never seen him look like this, except for that one time when we discovered that it was Ethan Rayne behind the cursed costumes. I still feel strangely calm.

?Hallie?? I hear Xander?s question but my entire vision is filled with the man that has been more of my father than Ira Rosenberg.

I can now understand why Ethan Rayne backed away from Giles all those years ago. The gentle librarian has been replaced by a wild eyed mad man ? and I feel ? nothing. I want this over so I can get back to Buffy. This is just something to get through, that?s all.

Giles, whose approval meant everything to me yesterday, means nothing now. And I hear a slightest hint of a voice in my ear, ?as it should be, he is nothing.?

No, that?s not true, I love him and despite his anger I know that he still loves me. I shake myself, and then fold my arms in front of me. It?s not a defensive pose so much as just a tired and cold one. It?s only been a day and I?m exhausted from containing the power inside me.

?I want to know what happened, what spell you used to get Buffy. . . ? his voice cracks on her name. But he takes a breath and continues, ?To get Buffy back??

I try to tell him but I can?t, I turn around to face the mantle and I see the picture of Buffy that we all have. I remember the bright sunny day it was taken; we were seniors in High School and the sun ? on her hair?.

I feel the tears start falling down my cheeks. Wellat least the ice is melting. I only want it to be over, for Buffy to be glad to be alive, for this insane power inside of me to be gone.

I guess Anya realizes that I can?t speak so she starts to explain to Giles how I could be so much more than wrong.

?Willow and I bid for the Urn of Osiris on E-bay, then Willow collected the final spell ingredients and we didit, except for the demons that interrupted it, that is. We thought it didn?t work untilBuffy ran into us ?.? She relates the facts to Giles in her straightforward way.

I just stand therewith my back turned staring at a happy Buffy in the picture. ?You will be happy again oneday? I promise her.

?So the ritual of resurrection might not have been completed?? I hear his words, and I hearreal fear in his voice.

?No, after this morning Tara and I did a simple spell to see if Buffy?was well?Buffy. And she is, Buffy that is, except for a little rearrangement of some genes and stuff.? Anya trails off and I feelGiles eyes on me again.

?The ritual,? he begins and I sense a change in him, in his tone. ?I assume it was the one that some people think Isis used to resurrect Osiris after Seth??

?Vino de Madre?? How did he know? Does this man know everything? It?s as if he can see the blood on my hands. I just want this over with, I need to see Buffy, I need to reassure myself that she?s still asleep. And there is something deeper, too.

?A baby deer.?I say then reget it when hear Xander?s horrified gasp as he finally figures it out.

?I helped Willow in the ritual and I?m not sorry about it.? Iam so proud of Xander and yet, I know he?s wrong.

?No, Xander it was me, I?m to blame.? I tell him and try to give him a small smile. He gives me a tight nod and then steps back toward Anya.

?So you used blood magic, life force magic, to call Osiris to grant you a life that was taken before her time?? Giles was relentless.

?Mystical death.? I correct. I feel fresh tears on my face. I?m fighting my feelings of shame; I?m fighting whatever power it is inside me because it just wants to be free.

?And the ritual was nearly completed when the, ah demons attacked?? He takes out a hankie and wipes tears off his face before putting his glasses back on. I know I?m not supposed to answer his question, he?s in Giles thinking mode.

?So then ?? Some kind of light goes on n his eyes. He?s figured something out. ?You rank arrogant amateur!? The rage from earlier comes back and he steps into my space, much the same way Buffy did a few moments ago. I?m shocked into losing some of the tight leash I have on the power and I feel it rise up, trying to break free.

Giles takes a stepback, blinking at what he sees in me. I hear a gasp from Xander and there is true fear in his eyes.

?Osiris I presume?? At Giles? question it?s like the floodgates are opened and the power surges through me. I try to close the gate,I try, I really do. But it?s justso strong.

I hear Giles? voice through the fog of rage that Osiris feels at being contained. I just don?t want to fight it anymore. I want to curl up and sleep.

Giles grabs my arms and I vaguely hear what he is saying, I concentrate on his mouth, then his words ?. ?He can?t control you, it?s your vessel, your body, he can?t control you without your permission.? I don?t know where Xander came from but his arms suddenly wrap around me from behind, he?s not trying to restrain me, he trying to make sure I know he loves me.

?He?. Your permission.? Giles is holding onto my arms. I feel his warmth through my skin.

?Lies! Lies!? I now hear Osiris clearly in my head, my heart, my soul. ?You don?t want to live in this world.? Osiris tells me and at this one moment it?s true. I?m so tired of the constant struggle and fight to keep the Power contained. And I know there is still another fight, the fight to keep Buffy alive.

?I can make surethe Slayer returns to her reward, you can?t!? The Power, or Osiris is just so strong, he?s so relentless.

He?s right, too. All I really care about is makinggood my mistake. I know he speaksthe truth, that if I release the Power, Osiris, into this world, he will keep his word and send Buffy back.

?I will not hurtyour friends, nor your family. I want the world, they do not matter.? He continues, and its not just words, its thoughts and feelings. I know he will honor any agreement he makes with me. I know because we?re almost one?.

Giles must sense my resolve lessening because he shakes my arms ? and the forgotten picture of Buffy I had been clutching falls out of my hands. Somehow the glass doesn?t break as it lands face up on the carpet.

It?s like my best friend is smiling at me. It's like she?s in the room with me right then and she?s smiling at me. And then I know, in my heart of hearts, that Buffy would never give into the promises of a dead God.

So I start the slow climb back; inch by inch, the God kicking and clawing every agonizing inch I force him down, until at last I slam the lid on him.

And I also see pride? No, I have to be mistaken. I?ve done nothing for him to beproud of me.

The strange numbness is returning; though I?m not sure it really left ? I want to get back upstairs ?not stay here talking.

Then my body violently protests, it tells me that I was just in a battle over it as bile rises up.

I just have time to drop to my knees and get sick in the fireplace ? instead of on the carpet ?which is good 'cause Buffy would be mad if she had to clean the carpets.

Wouldn?t want Buffy mad at me, any more than she already is, or Dawn?. Xander?s supporting me, keeping me from falling on my face in the?yuck!

?You?re my best friend!? I tell him. Why is he kneelingdown ?? Why are there tears in his eyes? Why am I so dizzy?.