Afterlife Happens (6b/?) B/W PG

I feel something cold over my eyes when I wake up. I reach up to pull the cloth off and I?m met with the bright light of the table lamp. I realize that I?m laying on the couch in the front room.

?Buffy?? I saytrying to sit up. I have to see her; Ihave to make sure she?s alright.

?Easy Willow,? I hear Giles? voice seconds before his hands appears to push me back down. ?She?s fine; I boosted the sedative just an hour ago.? He reassures me as he sits down on the coffee table.

I lay back closingmy eyes against the light.

?How long have Ibeen out?? If he?s had to boost the sedative then ? I don?t know because I didn?t know what time it was before. ?I mean what time is it?? I change my question.

?About 3 in the morning. Here try some of this tea; it tastes awful but should calm your stomach.? I open my eyes to see a cup in my face. The odor is truly awful, but I take a tentative sip of it anyway. Giles steadies the cup while I drink, otherwise I would spill it.

After I finish he puts the cup back and just looks at me.

?Are you quite aware of things? Do you have it under control or do you need some more time?? He asks cautiously, as if expecting the God to reappear in the room. ?Hey, maybe he should be careful?? I still feel disconnected; like I?m not really here.

I check the Power and it?s dormant at the moment; so I sit up and nod to him.

?Where is Xander?? I hate to say that I'd just noticed that he wasn?t around.

?He?s giving Dawn a break so she can get some sleep.? Giles tells me standing up and walking over to a chair. He pauses, taking offhis glasses to clean them, and I brace for some bad news.

Its a few minutes,in which he cleans every single spec of dirt that even thought about attaching to his glasses, then he puts them back on as if they were a piece of armor.

?I had Anya retrieve your notes on the resurrection ritual from the Magic Box, while you, ah, took your nap.? He starts, pointedly not looking at me as he sits down in the overstuffed chair. ?They were quite thorough,? he motions to the coffee table and I see all my notes spread out on it.

"When he finally turns toward me I find that I've discovered a sudden, intense interest in a string hanging from my shirt."

When I have no comment he continues.

?Yes, well, the gist of it is, since you used your body to channel the energy of Osiris and didn?t complete the ritual you are stuck.? I glance up at that; I didn?t realize, I didn?t think! I?m suddenly full of nervous energy, I can?t stay still so I stand up and begin to pace. I guess I?m taking on the mannerism of the Slayer?

?Of course! It all makes sense to me now.? I say pacing back and forth. The resurrection part of the ritual was complete, but the part where I sent Osiris packing wasn?t.

?I can?t believe that I?m that stupid!? I turn to Giles and he jumps as if he thought I was about throw a lightening bolt or something. So I look out the window instead of watching the fear grow in his eyes. ?Magic 101, always ground the power after you use it, always, always release the unused energy back to where itcame it from.?

I feel his nod; the strange detachment is changing into an unusual awareness. It's like I can now spilt my consciousness because just thinking about Buffy brings an image of her unnaturally still on her bed; with Xander sitting in a chair next to the bed trying not to doze off. It'slike I?m floating above them, only I?m not because I know I?m in the living room with Giles.

I hear him clear his throat; loudly. So I glance over my shoulder at him to continue, the hyperawareness fading back into numbness.

?While you are correct;? he starts up his lecture voice. ?If you had finished the ritual within 24 or 48 hours you might have avoided this fate.? I tense as his hand falls on my shoulder; I hadn?t heard him walk over here. At a gentle pressure Iturn around to him.

?But, you have to remember that, according to Xander, the backlash of the spell breaking rendered you unconscious. Then Xander went on to tell me how, though drained and slightly disoriented, you were able to defeat several of the demons that invaded Sunnydale.? He finishes then goes to lean against the fireplace.

I guess someone cleaned up the mess that I made. Thoughas empty as my stomach was?.

?You must realize that you were not simply playing the fool; you were not being stupid and raising a demon for personal gain or gratification.? What is left unsaid is the damage hedid when he raised Eyghon.

I shake my head toclear it, I have to figure out what he?s saying.

?So what you mean is that I?m stuck with Osiris inside me; that I?m a Glory?? I ask while staring at the reflection of the wan red headed girl in the darkened windows.

Despite all the sleep I?d gotten in the past few hours I still have deep circles under my eyes. I have a new understanding for what Ben went through and how Glory could, finally, overwhelm him.

?Not exactly, I believe, and this is just conjecture on my part; that if we complete the ritual thenthe essence, or the soul if you will, of Osiris will gladly leave.? Hope springs up inside me, even now with the Power dormant I still feel it waiting for any sign of weakness. But my hope is short lived as I see the _expression_ of Giles? face reflected off the same dark windows.

?The catch is?? I ask spinning around. He sighs, and takes off his glasses again. How do we ever get through these conversations when he?s always cleaning those damn things!

?Giles! This life please??

?Yes, quite right,? he puts the damn things back on. ?I am reasonably certain that we can get rid of Osiris ? but you have opened conduits of Power within yourself that were never meant to be opened?.? Again hepauses, this is so frustrating, maybe I should blast him one. Then realize what I'd thought andI?m immediately sorry.

?Please Giles just use a few nouns, just spit it out!? I?m getting frightened, or more frightened, or frighteneder? The blank numbness is finally beginning to burn away.

?You are or willbe, the most powerful Sorcerer this world has seen since Merlin.?

'Well, I wantedhim to spit it out'. I think to myself.

?It is my beliefthat Osiris is in control of the power at the moment, he is trying to use it as leverage in his quest to usurp your body, but once he is gone, that bit of control lost, you will be able to kill with a misplaced thought.?

'Where are my legs? Where did they go?' Ithink as I begin to slide to the floor, only to be caught by Giles. He?s so warm and I feel so cold, as he carries me back to the couch. He careful when he lays me down on it.

I have to protest his words; ?I would never think of killing someone!? I try to shout but my voice is nothing more than a horse whisper because I know it's a lie. What if the power had been in my control when I carelessly thought about blasting Giles a second ago? Would the man who's my father nowbe a pile of ash? How do you control your thoughts?

?Oh God, I?m going to be sick.? I tell him, and he has time reach for the trash can by the table.

When I?m done, Isit there panting; he leans over to remove the trashcan and picks up the washcloth. I stop his hand as he starts to wipe my face. There is only one answer:

?Kill me; it?syour job to protect the world. Just killme.? Now that I?m faced with it, I don?t want to die, I want to be here for Buffy, I want to protect her, love her ? but I know if we don?t get rid of Osiris sooner or later I?ll give in and let him have me.

I?m not that strong.

He flinches and I can?t tell if it?s from my words or because of the death grip I have on his arm.

?No Willow, you must accept the responsibility of your actions, you must learn to live with the results.? He tells me as he shakes his arm loose and continues to wipe my face. I see the love in his eyes, and I feel it in his touch. I always knew that Buffy was his daughter; I just never knew I was too.

?What am I goingto do?? I cry to him, he?s the adult, he needs to fix it.

?You have to choose to live; you have to choose to learn to control this power. Power corrupts Willow; you can?t let it destroy you.? I can?t stand the earnest look in his eyes, so I turn away from him.

?I can?t Giles,? I tell the wall. ?What happens the first time I go into babble mode??

Giles? fingers touch my cheek, forcing me to face him.

?I know you can control this Willow, I know you can learn how to use this Power for good.? He?s trying to give me strength through his touch. He?s trying to keep me grounded in this world through the sheer force of his love.

Just like I tried to do with Buffy. Just like I knowWE can do with Buffy.

I can feel him, heknows that I?m beginning to listen to him, to believe his words.

?Think of the good you can do with it, Willow? Think of the help you would be to Buffy in her fight?? Now that did it, that was it, I would do anything for her and he knows it.

?Damn him!? he knows of my love for her.

The floodgates open, not of the Power, but of my pain and guilt, and I begin to sob. Giles just sits down on the couchand holds me.

?How?? I mumble into his shirt hoping he knows what I?m asking.

?There is a coven in England; I?ve already spoken with them on the phone.? He tells me and, despite my tears, for the first time I begin to feel like things might get better.

?We can drop youoff on our way to taking Buffy to the council for treatment?.?

The End Of Part Six

TBC

Bright Blessings,

Ivy

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