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Ficlet: Complications In Rome
Title: Complications In Rome
Writer: E
Rating: Make it PG-13, this time
Disclaimer STILL don't own Buffy and Willow. Or Dawn. They're
owned by Joss and some corporations, some of which are very
unsupportive.
Spoilers: The entire BtVS run, and maybe some of Angel just to be
safe.
Summary: Following up Conversation In Rome. A newly single
Willow's arrived at Buffy's and Dawn's place in Rome with news about
Spike. Buffy got rather miffed, and announced she's giving up on
men. She also plans to travel halfway around the world to inflict
violence on ex-boyfriends who also happen to be vampires.
Dawn: It is SO good to see you, again.
Willow: How are you liking Rome?
Dawn: Love it! Except for the vamps, of course. Didn't expect
there to be so many vampires here of all places... With all the
crosses... Did you know Caligula was a vampire?
Willow: Yeah, Buffy told me. I hear this city has all kinds of
forces of darkness.
Dawn: Ironic, huh?
Willow: Or defiance.
Dawn: It's kept us busy.
Willow: She seems a little tense.
Dawn: A little? She's been slaying and slaying... And, you know
what that does to a Slayer.
Willow: Oh yeah, the hunger thing. Good thing there's so much
great Italian food around here.
Dawn: Yeah, but there's the other thing.
Willow: The... other thing Slayers want after slayage.
Dawn: Yeah, the... other thing. She hasn't had any of that since
Spike.
Willow: Really? Nobody? In one of the most romantic countries in
the world?
Dawn: She was mourning.
Willow: Poor Buffy.
Dawn: So, how'd she'd take the news?
Willow: Not too well... Angry Slayer... Started going on about
men... Big long rant, about how they're all groin no brain and
should be thrown in the sea and wait for the bubbles to come...
Seemed familiar, but I can't place it.
Dawn: Huh?!! What's that got to do with you and Kennedy?
Willow: Oh! Nothing... Spike's alive, he's with Angel, and
they've both decided what's best for Buffy without her say so.
Dawn: He's alive?!! And he hasn't called. Typical...
Willow: Yeah. Vampires. Sigh... A Slayer shouldn't be sleeping
with her prey, anyway...
Dawn: Yeah! Mom always told us not to play with our food, but does
she listen? But, the important question...
Willow: What's that?
Dawn: You being single, again.
Willow: Ah... Um... She did that unreadable thing she does,
sometimes. Then she told me she was sorry.
Dawn: You know what I think would help with the tension? A
massage. You do massages, right?
Willow: Darn tootin'. I'm the Mistress of Massage.
Dawn: I think a foot massage would be just what the doctor ordered.
Willow: Ah... Well... That's a bit sensual... and intimate.
Dawn: Or, better yet... A full body massage. She'd LOVE that from
you!
Willow: Um... Dawn... If I didn't know better, I'd think you were
playing matchmaker...
Dawn: Oh, come on. You love her, she loves you... You DO still
love her, right?
Willow: Of course! But... There's that little matter of her being
straight.
Dawn: Look, just because she's attracted to men, too, doesn't make
her straight. Bisexuality does exist, you know. And she DID get
involved with girls before you did.
Willow: Sigh... Dawn... I think I would have noticed.
Dawn: High School. Senior year. Her date for the Homecoming Dance.
Willow: (pauses) Faith. But, just because they did Homecoming
together doesn't mean... I-I mean, yeah, looking back, Faith
obviously wanted something there, but Buffy would NEVER...
Dawn: Hey, remember who had the next bedroom? Faith's a screamer.
I was traumatized. They went to Faith's motel from then on...
Willow: WHAT?!!!
In the dojo, Buffy is training, and barely dodges an object flying
at her.
Willow: HOW could you SLEEP with that SKANK!!!
Buffy: Wha?... Willow... What?!!
Willow: (steaming) You heard me.
Buffy: Spike's a lot of things, but he isn't a skank. And you're
just NOW getting mad at me over it?!!
Willow: He is TOO a skank! And a vampire! He slept with DRU for
crying out loud!!!
Buffy: So did Angel. And wasn't your first time with a werewolf?!!
Willow: Never mind that! I wasn't talking about Spike, anyway! I
was talking about that OTHER skank!
Buffy: WHAT other...? What are you TALKING about?!!
Willow: Senior year.
Buffy: Ah... Uh oh...
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