Wishful Thinking (5/5)

["D.R. Garcia" <dr_garcia@xxxxxxxxx>]

Ok, here we are. It is time for the finally curtain to
drop. Hope you like.

Wishful Thinking
Part 5 - Always there

Disclaimers: None of the characters from BTVS belong
to me. They are simply here having a good time and I
promise to take them all home when we?re done. I am
not making a single penny off any person, place, or
thing in this entire fic.

Music: Well, here it is finally. The one song I really
wanted to use. It?s from the 'Escape Club' but I
forget the name of the album. Now for your enjoyment,
'I?ll Be There.' I really hope you like it.

Picking up where we left off: Buffy and Xander, being
the great friends they are, have rushed to the rescue
but the future is not looking bright. In there search
it is Buffy who lay injured next to the woman she so
loves. As Xander begs and pleads for them to hold on
time simply keeps ticking away. So, did the girls make
it? Let?s find out.

Spoilers: I must admit that I only remember a few
episodes that I?ve seen. So if there are any spoilers,
which I really doubt, I?m sorry I didn?t warn before.
Hopefully I?ve stayed away from anything major.

Love/Sex Warning: Buffy wants Willow. If you find
anything wrong with that the door is down the hall and
to your left. For those of you remaining, like I said
"If I ain?t having it then neither are they."

Rating: PG I would say G but the P is just used as a
pick me up.

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

One final note, just like all other parts this has not
been beta read.

>"Indicates dialogue in the spirit realm"<
[Let?s you know what the character is thinking]
{Let?s you read along with the character}
<>Indicates flashbacks<>
-[Let?s you hear what the characters are listening to
(no background music in this one)]-

<><><><><><><>
Wishful Thinking (5/5)
Always there
<><><><><><><>

>"Willow?"<

>"Yeah Buffy, I?m here."<

>"Good because that was my next question. Where are we
Will?"<

>"I guess we?re in some type of spirit realm."<

>"Oh no. Will, are we dead?"<

>"I don?t know, Buffy. I?ve never been dead before."<

Hugging each other as close as humanly possible, fear
began to grip at both of the girls.

>"Will, I?m scared."<

>"So am I Buffy, so am I."<

>"What about Xander and Giles? They must be
devastated."<

>"It?s ok Buffy, we?ll figure out what?s going on, I
promise,"< the red head said tightening her hold on
her friend.

Just then the silence they resided in began to tremble
as words began to roar as if from nowhere.

>"CLEAR!"< was all the girls heard as their
surroundings began to tremble again.

Slowly the darkness around them cleared and the scene
before them held them speechless. They stood now in
there own emergency room. Doctors and nurses trying
with little success to save the girls.

Finally Buffy broke the silence, >"Will! We?re not
dead yet. Look, they?re still trying."<

>"Yeah."<

Surprised by her friend?s response Buffy had to
question, >"Will, what?s wrong? We can go back, aren?t
you happy?"<

Looking around the room Willow felt a great sorrow for
her friends. As the doctors continued she turned to
see Xander and Giles standing watch at the door, [I
bet they haven?t moved all night,] she thought to
herself.

>"Will. Hey Will, you still with me?"<

>"Yeah Buffy, I?m right here,"< she said taking her
friend?s hand in her own, >"I?ll always be with you."<

>"Great, now come on before they try calling our
time,"< the blond said with a smile, trying to lighten
her friend's mood.

>"All right Buffy, lets go,"< the red head responded
as they turned to their lifeless bodies again.

Letting go of her friends hand Buffy could not wait to
be with her friends again, >"Come on you slow poke.
I?ll race you to our bodies. Last one back is a rotten
egg."<

Willow simply smiled as her friend took the lead,
>"I?m coming Buffy, I?ll always be with you"<

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And they lived happily ever after...


"Friends, family. We gather today to mourn the passing
of a wonderful young woman. A child who?s life was cut
short far before her time..."

As the minister continued there was nothing the
surviving girl could do but cry. She attempted to
listen to the words but everything only came as a
blur. All she could do was stare blankly at the coffin
until only her, Xander, Giles, and Cordelia remained.
Cordelia had been out of town when she heard the news
but rushed home as soon as she did. Now everyone else
had been gone home, each needing to mourn their loss
in their own way. And as the four friends sat in
silence nothing else could be held back.

"Why? Why?! Why?!!"

What had started as a whisper soon became yells as the
young girl slumped towards the coffin. Xander quickly
embraced her, trying desperately to comfort her.

"Shh...shh.. It?s okay. She?s in a better place now,"
he said with red, tear-filled eyes.

"NO! She can?t be gone! She can?t leave me! I had her.
I had her Xander! Why couldn?t I hold on? Why did I
let her go?!"

"Please, please calm down. It?s not your fault. We all
did what we could...It was just her time. Please
understand," Xander attempted, trying to calm his
friend.

"NO! NO! NO! I should be in there, not her," as she
spoke she finally fell to her knees as all Xander
could do was follow.

Looking to the skies with tear-filled eyes she yelled
out again, "It should?ve been me! Take me instead!
Please..." she finished quietly.

Tears filled Xander?s eyes, not only for his departed
friend but for the one who carried the burden of being
the one who remained. Looking towards Giles he knew it
was time to go. As much as he wanted to stay he forced
himself to retrieve his friend as well. Placing gentle
arms around her he quickly lifted her up before she
could react.

"NO!" she yelled as she felt herself being lifted.

"Xander! Please. I don?t want to leave her!"

Xander could only tighten his hold to make sure his
friend would not get hurt. The three friends walked in
silence towards the car as their surviving friend
yelled and kicked. Tears filled their eyes as they
watched their friend, but all they could do was walk
on.

Back at Giles?...

Xander entered the house first and placed his, now
sleeping, precious cargo on the sofa. She had been
hysterical most of the way home until Giles was forced
to give her a sedative. As Xander made sure she was
comfortable Giles headed for the kitchen to prepare
them some tea. Cordelia didn?t know what to do. She
had never seen her friend like that before. She looked
towards Xander for an answer, he simply smiled a smile
that said it would be ok.

"Just have a seat Cordy, she?ll get over this. We just
need to give her time."

Cordelia smiled back in understanding and then took a
seat near her friends. Soon the young girl would be up
and no one knew just how she would react.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Xander...?"

Once he heard the words he was immediately at her
side, "I?m here. I'm here."

He tried a smile for her but just couldn?t hold it
long enough, "So, how you feeling?"

"Terrible honestly."

"I know. I hurt too. Let me go get you some tea and
I?ll be right back."

Xander headed to the kitchen and asked Giles to get
their friend some tea. He quickly obliged as Xander
headed towards another room to retrieve a package.
Soon the young girl was sitting up and drinking her
tea, as Xander re-entered the living room with a very
solemn face.

"I found these the...the other night in some of her
papers. I didn?t read anything, really. But I did see
your name," he said handing her an envelope and a
blank CD.

Hesitantly she the took the materials. Slowly she
extracted the envelopes contents as tears came to her
eyes again. She recognized the writing quickly, her
friends carefree hand. Forcing herself to calm down
she wiped some tears from her eyes and began to read.

{My Love,

You don?t how long I?ve waited to say such words to
you. My only regret is that I cannot be with you as
you read them. I?m sorry if I could not deliver this
on my own. I?m so sorry about all of this. If only I
had been brave when it really mattered, if I had only
been brave for you. I feared for your safety, I could
not bring myself to let you remain in harms way. What
was I thinking? Where could you have been any safer
than with me? It is only now that I see no secret can
remain so forever.

I love you. I know we?ve told each other time and
again, but I just wanted to make the picture crystal
clear.

I love you so much, in heart, body, and soul. I?ve
always loved you, I was just too weak to admit it. You
on the other hand, well, you were never one to hold
back. I still remember the night you declared your
love to me. I had gone over for a study session, as I
concentrated on my work you concentrated on me...

<>"Hey."

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"Me? Yeah."

"Sure?"

"Positive. Don?t worry so much."

"OK."

Silence filled the room as both girls went back to
their studies. But one final movement was all it would
take to break open a damn that could never be sealed
again.

"Ok, spill it."

"What?"

"You heard me. Just spill it. You?ve been throwing me
this 'help me' look all night, and you?ve seemed kind
of out of it."

"I... I just..."

"Don?t worry, it?ll be okay. I?m your best friend, if
you can?t tell me then who can you tell?"

"Ok, here goes..."

Silence again filled the room. She could tell that her
friend did not want to pressure her into anything but
at the same time she wanted to help her. Then her
friend gave the last words before the water was let to
flow.

"Ok now. Usually after 'here goes,' people finish by
actually saying something."

"I love you. Please, don?t hate me."

"Hate you? What are you talking about? You?re my best
friend, I love you too."

Fire burned in her eyes as she attempted to clarify
her words to her friend, "No, not like that."

"Then how?"

She took a deep breath as she began slowly, "I love
you with my heart and soul, my entire being. I?ve
loved you since the first day of school, and I know
that no matter what I?ll continue to love you forever.
Don?t you understand? I don?t simply love you, I am in
love with you."

Her friend remained motionless, it was obvious that
she was desperately trying to form a coherent
response, "I... I don?t know what to say."

As she approached her friend, fear began to show its'
ugly face, but it would not win this time. She started
this now all she could do was finish and hope her
friend felt the same. Her friend still could not get
herself to move from her current spot in the room.
Finally, there was nowhere else as both girls stood
face to face, fire burning throughout their bodies.
Then she did it, reaching up slowing and softly she
brought her hand up to caress her friends cheek.

"You don?t have to say anything. I can see it in your
eyes."

"What?!"

"I can see..."

"No, no, no. This can?t be happening. Please, just
don?t."

"But I thought..."

"I?m sorry, you thought wrong."

"But you, I..."

"I can?t do this. I?m sorry but I have to go. I?m not
even 'that way'."

As the words hit her and sunk in she could feel her
world crumbling. All it took was one moment, a few
simple words, and the fire in her soul had been
extinguished. Now it was her that could do nothing but
remain motionless as her friend hastily headed out of
her room, out of her house, and possibly out of her
life.

"What have I done?"<>

Then I remember the fire fade in your eyes. You were
in pain that I had caused. I could?ve never forgiven
myself, only your kind heart and love allowed us to
remain friends after that. That night was never spoken
of again, but in my dreams it still haunted me. I?m
sorry I hurt you. Now look at me. Here I am telling
you the same thing you told me not to long ago. All
those shared 'I love yous,' we agreed that they?d
represent our solid friendship, now I?m confessing
that I shared your same feelings all along. I?m sorry
I had to be such an idiot and not tell you. I?m sorry
I failed you.

I wish I could be with you now, holding you as I
confessed my love. I wish I could see the fire in your
eyes once again. I wish I could be there to kiss away
the pain and dry your tears. Who knows, maybe now I
will finally be able to do all this and not risk
anything at all. I love you, and I miss you so much
already. I?m sorry for all I?ve ever done that has
hurt you. But know that I?ll be protecting you always
now. I?ll be watching over you until we can one day be
as one, together always. I?ll be waiting until that
day when I can finally stand before you and tell you
that I love you.

Please don?t ever doubt my love, for you. It will
always remain and it will only get stronger. I don?t
know what else I can possibly say for you to
understand just how deep my love runs. Please play the
CD now, hopefully it can convey to you everything my
words have not.

Yours until the end of time,
Willow}

Xander looked up as he saw Buffy lower the letter,
"I?m so sorry Buffy."

Remaining silent she traced the edge of the CD case
with her index finger. Slowly she began to walk over
to Giles? stereo. Xander quickly followed not knowing
what had come over his friend. But as she took out the
CD he felt he understood and simply stood by. Pressing
'Play' on Giles' machine Buffy took a step back near
Xander as the music began,

-[Over Mountains
Over Trees
Over Oceans
Over Seas
Across the desert
I'll be there

In a whisper on the wind
On the smile of a new friend
Just think of me
And I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight,
To be with you
Because I'm on your side,
And I still care
I may have died,
But I've gone nowhere

Just think of me,
And I'll be there

On the edge of a waking dream
Over Rivers
Over Streams
Through Wind and Rain
I'll be there

Across the wide and open sky
Thousands of miles I'd fly
To be with you
I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight,
To be with you
Because I'm on your side,
And I still care
I may have died,
But I've gone nowhere

Just think of me,
And I'll be there

In the breath of a wind that sighs
Oh, there's no need to cry

Just think of me,
And I'll be there...

"I love you Buffy and I'll always be near."]-

As the song ended all four friends remained quiet as
Willow's words came across the machine. Giles sat in
his chairs with his head inclined, the hand covering
his eyes was the only indication of his grieving.
Cordelia sat opposite of him with her head down as
well, [Be strong], she kept repeating to herself, [for
Buffy].

And still standing right behind Buffy was Xander. As
she turned Xander could see the tears now freely
falling from Buffy?s eyes. She looked up at him and he
tried to smile for her but he just couldn?t, the pain
was too great. Buffy simply lowered her head into
Xander?s chest as his strong arms engulfed her.

"I?m...I am so, so sorry, Love."

At Xander?s words Buffy tightened her grip and held on
as if her life depended on it. Now neither friend
could control their painful sobs. They simply remained
motionless holding each other tighter, letting go of
the other was not even an option.

The End

<> <> <> <> <> <> <>


So that?s the end, what do you guys think? I guess
this, again, is what happens when you have such a
'happy' CD collection. This entire story started from
this one song and I worked backwards from there. I
just got the idea for the ending and went from there.

I just really wanted to write a piece were everything
went wrong. I wanted the strong connection to be
mutual but not in main text. And then when everything
indicated that at least the soul mates would remain
together, be it in death or life, I just had to tear
them apart. I?m terrible aren?t I?

What do you all think, Sequel?


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