"One Way To Nowhere"

[mac012@xxxxxxxxxxx]

Title: One Way to Nowhere. 
Author: Mac
E-mail: mac012@xxxxxxxxxxx
Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Buffy and Willow and whoever else belong to Joss Whedon 

Summary: Willow's having a hard time dealing with her feelings. 



Have you ever wanted something so bad? Ever wanted something so much 
that you would do anything to get it? Anything at all? But the thing 
is, it's not something it's someone. Material possessions can be 
bought, people can't. Material possessions also go out of fashion. 
People don't. 

At first when you see the person, it's cool, you're nice to her. In 
fact, you're friends. But you don't realise at first that you want to 
be more than that. That dawns on you later when you realise that you 
want something more out of the relationship. Something which you're 
not sure she would give, or she would want as well. It's hard trying 
to figure out how someone thinks. 

Then you're best friends, you know almost everything about one 
another. Everything except what you really feel about her, what you 
really want from her. At first you thought it's just a phase, I'll 
get over it. But it doesn't really work like that. It gets worse 
instead of better, it's like a wound that'll never heal. The sore 
only gets worse. It starts to hurt seeing her everyday, you can't 
bear it at times. 

She knows you too well, she starts to ask you what's wrong. You tell 
her everything's fine. But you both know it's not. So it ends up 
kinda funny. In the start of the obsession you were willing to do 
anything to get her. Now you're ready to do anything to get rid of 
what you're feeling. It's too hard. You can't bear it. 

It's a good job you know magic. 

Isn't it? 

~

Willow woke up. She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, mutely 
yawning. She felt weird for some reason. She looked over at Buffy, 
she was sleeping soundly, well actually she was snoring, but not 
loudly. She couldn't get rid of the feeling. Like something was 
nagging her. She must have had some dream or something. She threw her 
legs around the side of the bed and they landed on the floor as she 
sat up, she looked down at them. 

The dream came back to her suddenly, well it wasn't really a dream. 
It was a voice, a nagging voice, telling her what to do about Buffy. 
She couldn't do it. Look what happened before when she tried to do 
something about Xander. Well, OK, so Spike isn't gonna kidnap her 
since he's got that chip in his brain. She was also a lot more 
powerful now and she could get Tara to help her if she needed it. 
Tara knew about how she felt. She symapathised. She couldn't do much 
else. Willow's head shot up as she heard Buffy gasp. 

Willow grimaced as the gasped turned into a moan. Not another dream. 
She'd had enough of listening to her have sex in her dreams. It just 
made it worse. Willow cleared her throat loudly and watched as 
Buffy's eyes flicker open and she shot up in the bed, breathing 
heavily. 

"Willow?" Her voice was husky. 

"Uh-huh." 

Buffy paused to collect herself. When she realised what had happened 
she blushed deeply. "Gee, I'm sorry 'bout that." 

Willow smiled and looked back down at the ground. "S'OK, I know you 
can't control what you dream." 

"God, you must think I'm sex mad or something!" Buffy laughed as she 
stood up on shaky legs. 

Willow laughed falsely, as images of what a sex mad Buffy could do to 
her flashed through her mind. Buffy disappeared off to the shower and 
Willow flopped back onto the bed, sighing. 

~

"Tara, I have to do something about it. It's so bad it hurts." 

"I'm sorry Willow, but I won't do that. I just won't!" Tara sighed 
and stood up. "It's one of the first things that a wicca is told not 
to do. You don't mess around with love and other people's feelings. 
Love is too strong. Our power together couldn't do control it." 

Willow watched as her friend walked back and forth. "I can't do it 
anymore." 

"Willow! Will you listen to me?!?!" Tara stopped and stood in front 
of her, her hands rested on her shapely hips. "If you feel this way 
towards Buffy. Tell her." 

"You don't know her like I do. She'll freak and hate me. I could take 
her not talking to me and ignoring me. But I don't ever want her to 
hate me." Willow could feel tears well up in her eyes. 

"You're not cursed. You were meant feel this way, it was meant to 
happen. You're supposed to love Buffy. I don't know how she feels 
about you, but if you feel this strongly then it's meant to happen." 
Tara sat down beside the red head and put an arm around her, bringing 
her into her embrace. She could feel her tears wet her jumper. 

"I can't-" her voice hitched as she sobbed. "-take it." 

"I know... I know... just don't use magic." 

~

TBC

Feedback please!!!! I'm not really sure where this is going, if 
anyone has any ideas they can post them to me. It's my first B/W fic 
and it's gonna be good when it's finished. It's just finishing it 
that's the hard part. 

Notes: For Kaz (you'd better hold that promise!) and Eve.