RE: Gutter Report

[CDRERamius@xxxxxxx]

To: Sammy T. Koala
Director of Public Safety
List Gutter Affairs Committee
United Vegetable Empire
All list members
From: Unofficial List Warrior

1. I will be arriving in a day or so to deliver a number of items that will be of use to all Gutter residents and inhabitants of the Woods Outback. These items are listed below for information and comment:
a) 1440 bottles of Bunderburg Rum
b) 3042 tons of Eucalypt leaves
c) 57 jars of Vegemite
d) recipe for Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

2. Bunderburg Rum is excellent when mixed with Froggy Cola. This shipment should keep a certain shades wearing Koala happy for a week or so.

3. Eucalypt leaves for above mentioned shades wearing Koala.

4. Jars of Vegemite are for United Vegetable Empire. Anyone who eats it (and survives) is a true warrior and should fear no wet noodle (frozen or otherwise). This is a diplomatic gesture from the Commonwealth of Beer Drinkers. Subject to arms control treaty (including Anti Wet Noodle Defence Treaty.)

5. Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, for those not familiar with it, is an alcoholic drink. But not just any old drink. It is the alcoholic equivalent of being mugged. Expensive and bad for the head. The effect of drinking one is the same as having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick. Only recommended for hard core Vegemite eaters or as a sedative for Koalas during mating season.

6. Update on Riley Weasel. Yes, he was released into the Australian Outback. Yes, dingoes DO like weasels. In fact they like him so much that they have bought him a leather outfit (including mask) and are calling him Riley "The Gimp" Weasel.


Tony McD

Unofficial List Warrior and Official Combat Zeppo

"I want my mummy." Baldric
"Yes, so do I. A 400 pound, maternally outraged gorilla would be handy right about now." Blackadder
Blackadder Goes Forth.