FIC: You Want A What?

["D.R. Garcia" <dr_garcia@xxxxxxxxx>]

Hello everyone. I just wanted to try something new
here. The following is not something that?s been on my
mind for long, actually I wrote this last year and it
wasn?t even for Buffy. Anyway. I was reading it over
in class this morning and it just seemed to fit the
characters. None of it mentions names but I?m going to
say that this is Willow's point of view. Tell me what
you think. This is an extremely short piece.

You Want A What?

Disclaimers: I don?t own Buffy and company and I never
will. All power belongs to Joss and Mutant Enemy.
Spoilers: None at all.
Rating: So low it?s probably less than 'G' maybe like
'B' or 'C'
Set up: Angel and Buffy are no more and Willow has
been the shoulder to lean on ever since. Riley and any
other possible male suitors never come into the
picture. So in the closeness Buffy finally admits to
Willow how much she loves her and wants to be with
her. And the catch is...Willow also loves Buffy but is
already with Tara and Tara knows about Willow and
Buffy's situation.


You Want A What?

So I?m sitting here, not one thing on my mind. Then
why won't my head stop pounding? Life seemed so easy
before,... before you. I remember it so clearly, I was
so happy. Then someone decided I shouldn?t be that
happy. Perhaps it was God throwing me a curve or Fate
just getting carried away. I must say though, it was
one beautiful day. Now I?m stuck between what I have
and you.

Just thinking about it all leads me to worry. If I
look to you while I?m with her, who will I look to
when I?m with you? Why must it all be so hard? Can you
tell me? To tell you the truth, I don?t think I even
know what I want. She?s upset, I understand. This is
unfair to all of us. I think she is more tired than
anything else, perhaps you are too. I just wish my
head would stop spinning.

Here?s a question, perhaps you can shed some light on
my situation. Maybe your perspective is all I need
right now. How can I feel this bad? My entire being,
straight through my heart is yelling out to chose you.
When I?m away from you it hurts so much. I feel part
of me is missing, something torn out. I know you?re my
soul?s mate, something just clicks when we?re
together. From the first time I laid my eyes upon you
I felt different. I love you so much. You know I want
to commit and share my life with you. Yet, I can?t
find it in me to hurt her. I love her too, it?s a
different love, but it?s there none the less. If you
could see how much she loves me perhaps you?d
understand.

To tell the truth, I feel I fear commitment. Or maybe
I just fear, fearing commitment. I DON?T KNOW! For the
longest time I knew I could never approach you, let
alone be with you. For years I was told to "drop it"
or just leave you alone. Now, out of the blue you come
up with "why not"? All I can do is stand in shock. I
hope you know, this is the closest me and her have
been. You?ve done this, you have brought us together.

So what do you think? I?m tired of asking perverted
teens and childish adults. I just want you, but at
what cost I?m not sure. I don?t know how much I?m
willing to give up or lose. How am I to think I can be
with the most wonderful person in the world and not
lose them at the same time? And now you?re asking me
for a what?

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