Story: Allies & Enemies: Ripper

["Femvamp " <femvamp000@xxxxxxxxx>]

TITLE: Allies & Enemies: Ripper
AUTHOR: Femvamp
E-MAIL: femvamp000@xxxxxxxxx
FEEDBACK: My name is Femvamp and I'm a feedback addict
DISTRIBUTION: Sure take it, just drop me an email.
DISCLAIMER: Joss Wheadon and many others own the characters of BtVS 
and Angel (lucky bastards).

Ripper

A normal bloody life. Do you know how many times I prayed for that? 
A normal life for me. A normal life for Buffy. Do you know how many 
times I prayed for that? Well I'll tell you, every night since the 
day I met her. Every day since four people who had nothing in common 
became a family.

Why now?

Why is a normal life offered to us now?

Why not then, when I wanted it. Why not when Jenny was still alive? 
Why not before Angel became Angelus again? Why not before Tara died? 
Why not before all the pain and the hurt? Why now and not then?

I don't have all the answers. I never have. The most infuriating 
moments of my life were the once where I didn't have an answer to a 
question that needed to be answered. The times when Buffy, Willow, or 
even Xander need an answer needed someone who could give them the 
answers to life. They came to me for that. I tried my best to be 
what they needed me to be but sometimes, most of the time I failed 
miserably.

I couldn't be what they needed. They needed a father.

Destiny sucks sometimes. That what Xander would say. No that's not 
right. Xander would make some joke about some stupid thing and 
lighten the mood. And I would pretend that I didn't think it was 
funny. Xander has a gift that way. He calls himself a Zeppo, no wait 
that's what Cordelia called him, but anyway both of them would be 
wrong. Xander isn't a useless cog in our little group. He has a 
purpose. His purpose is to make our world a little less dark with his 
humor. That is a gift, a gift worth fighting for. Although I'd never 
tell him that. I have a reputation to protect.

Most people would say it's easy to see Willow's gift. They'd be wrong 
though. It's not her intelligence or her gift for magic, even though 
they both play a part in what makes Willow, Willow. Her real gift is 
her unconditional love. She loves with abandon. No hold barred no 
disqualification. That's how she loves. That's her true gift.

Buffy. My dear sweet Buffy. Her gift is her strength. And I'm not 
talking about her physical slayer strength either. I'm talking about 
her strength of character. Anyone else would have walked away by now. 
All the pain. All the hurt. All the loss. I wouldn't have blamed 
her for chucking it all to hell. But she didn't. She stayed. She 
fought. She kicked bloody ass.

What was I saying...? Oh yeah. I'm not a very good father to them. 
Or the others like Cordy and Oz. I tried to be but I failed. 

I love them all like they were my own.

But I'm not a very good father to them.

All I can offer them is a shoulder to cry on. A body to talk to and 
maybe some ice cream from time to time.

But I'll get better.

I know none of us will chose a normal life, it's just not our way. 
Even Joyce my dear sweet wife will choose to stay. So I guess I will 
continue to be the best father I know how to be to a bunch of 
oddballs, miscreants, and vagabonds who have no one else.