Re: End of the Month Gutter Report

[Tater <tater@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

TO: The Director of Public Safety
FROM: The Head of the UVE
SUBJECT: End of Month List Gutter Safety Report


>Item 2:
>To the United Vegetable Empire ? the Holy order of the Garbage Pail has
>moved into the East Gutter vowing to continue their holy war against the
>evils of the Demonic Cabbage Patch. Er.... Tater, is there something
>you want to tell me? Archbishop Oscar IV has been into my office no
>less then 23 times preaching his just cause and how the Holy Order of
>Garbage Pail Kids shall wipe out the offending Demonic Cabbage Patch.
>Now while I am loath to interfere in eternal matters of the UVE, I am
>getting tried of the Archbishop?s visits; all that green fur and black
>eyebrow is a bit disturbing, especially before I?ve had a chance to
>properly wake up.


Oh dear. So sorry about that. I was hoping the sauerkraut incident had
been forgotten. It would appear that the whacko religious fana... er the
Holy Order of the Garbage Pail are holding a bit of a grudge. Just because
they can't get the smell out of their cathedral is no reason to start a holy
war if you ask me. The Demonic Cabbages didn't mean any harm really, they
were only having a little fun, but some people can't take a prank. Just
tell the Archbishop that you totally agree that the cabbages are evil and
sauerkraut is an a abomination and you never touch the stuff, and he should
leave you alone.  

I wonder if we can appease them with a large offering of air freshener, or
if we're going to have to get out the artillery and do this the messy way?
Heavy use of the smurf launchers can get gruesome, although it does dispose
of a lot of those blue pests in a constructive manner.


tater (Vegetables of the world unite!)
Head of the United Vegetable Empire