Fic: The Vamp Trap (1/?) In response to Stephens Vamp Willow challenge

[angelina2006@xxxxxxxxxxx]

TITLE: The Vamp Trap
AUTHOR: Angelina (angelina2006@xxxxxxxxxxx)
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. 
SUMMARY: Vamp Willow is stcuk in the real world, what's to be done?
PAIRING: Buffy/Willow & Cordy/Faith
SPOILERS: None really, set in Season 3 and doesn't fit in with the 
time line at all. Could maybe be in the aftermath of Girls 
Interrupted and My Slayer Lady.
DISTRIBUTION ? You want it? It's yours, just drop me an e-mail.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: All feedback welcome. "Mochas?" "Yes please!" This 
is written in response to a challenge issued by Stephen. It doesn't 
have all the elements in yet but I've got ideas for the next part.  
Enjoy. PS Sorry about the title, it's in reference to the Parent 
Trap which is the only film with Twins in it I could think of (I'm 
pants at thinking up titles)



"You know this is all your fault don't you?"

"My fault? How is this my fault? Was it my fault that Red was 
feelin' all `reliable' and went and cast some stupid spell with 
Little Orphan Anya?"

"No, but it's your fault that Anya is here in the first place isn't 
it?"

"Look C, for the trillionth time, I'm sorry I kissed Xander, it was 
dark, I was drugged, I thought he was you. It was just real bad 
timing that you turned the lights on at that exact moment."

"Bad timing, hmmm, maybe that's what it was when I met you."

"Look, it wasn't my fault that you ran away and skewered yourself on 
that pole, I was outta my head for a week with worry when you 
wouldn't see me. If you hadn't totally overreacted and let me 
explain we wouldn't be in this mess now."

"Overreacted? Well I'm sorry if I was slightly upset at seeing my 
girlfriend sticking her tongue down my ex-boyfriend's throat."

"Slightly upset, is that what you call makin' friends with the Patron 
Saint of Psycho Bitches? And what the hell did wishin' Buffy had 
never come to Sunnydale have to do with anything? Shouldn't it have 
been me?"

"Not everything revolves around you Faith?you just like to think it 
does, and anyway, Buffy was the start of my troubles. And let's not 
forget that I didn't actually know that the new girl with a 
sprinkling of fashion sense was going to turn out to be some weird 
veiny genie person and grant the stupid wish did I?"

"Come on C, you know you love me really"

"Glad you like to think so."

Cordelia smiled at the puppy-dog eyes Faith was sending her way, she 
never could keep up the haughty bitch routine for very long when 
subjected to them.  

"Just be grateful that I'm a forgiving girl"

"Oh, I am C, I thank the Lord every single night when I say my 
prayers." Faith pulled Cordelia to her and attacked her lips, an 
attack the other girl surrendered to willingly.

"Ahem!" Faith released a slightly dazed Cordelia and turned to face 
the assembled crowd. Buffy had been the one to interrupt the heated 
embrace and was standing tapping her foot impatiently. Willow stood 
behind her, a precautionary measure it seemed, her hands were on 
Buffy's hips, ready to use her as a human shield should the need 
arise. Giles, Xander and Angel stood around wondering what was going 
to happen next. Anya spoke up.

"By the way, I'm the Patron Saint of Scorned Women" she said, 
enunciating the words by way of explanation for Faith.

"Whatever, I liked mine better." said Faith, shrugging.

"Forget that. Now that you two have had your little argument stroke 
make-out session, what are we going to about her?" said Buffy, 
gesturing at Vamp Willow who rolled her eyes. After they had 
finished rolling they came to rest on Angel. She raised her eyebrows 
at him and licked her lips. Angel looked acutely uncomfortable and 
attempted to cover his studly body with his overcoat.

Faith and Cordelia looked at each other.

"Why you askin' us B? I slay, I don't think up stuff. And C here?
what is it you do again hun? Apart from scream and run away?" 

"I say insightful things which end up saving the day without anybody 
actually realising they have me to thank for it. Not that I want 
thanks or recognition, or money."

"See, it's Red and Giles are the brains, not us. I'm the brawn and 
she's the beauty, well, actually, I'm both." Faith grinned.

Buffy sighed heavily and turned to face the rest of the crowd.  
Willow turned with her so she was still behind her, watching her vamp 
self with equal parts fascination and apprehension. Angel also moved 
to stand behind Buffy, very aware that the leather-clad vamp was 
watching his butt as he walked and not liking it one little bit.

"OK, let's start with the basics." said Buffy. "Does anybody have any 
ideas why this spell failed and how we can fix it." Anya raised her 
hand.  

"You don't have to raise your hand Anya, just speak." said Giles 
wearily.

"Well I wish you humans would make your minds up, I speak out loud in 
class and I get yelled at to raise my hand but now I?"

"Just tell us why the spell didn't work." Buffy said through gritted 
teeth, silently wishing they could send Anya back with Vamp Willow.

"OK OK, well, I think it was because I originally cast the spell to 
get back my necklace, it had nothing to do with getting the other 
Willow to come here ? something went wrong, we don't know what, so we 
can't fix it." Anya smiled.

"So why did we just cast that other spell?" asked Buffy, confused and 
exasperated.

"Well, you all seemed to think it would work so I just went along 
with it." Anya turned to Xander. "Do you want to go get one of those 
flat Italian bread things with the cheese or some other kind of fast 
food?" Xander looked mildly interested, but Buffy's apparent fury 
prevented him from answering.

"OK, so we can't send her back. This means we're stuck with her, for 
the time being at least ? what are we going to do with her?" Buffy 
threw the question open to the room.

"Why don't we just stake her? I mean, she is a vamp right?" Faith 
offered what she thought was a reasonable suggestion and was taken 
aback by the outraged stares she received from Buffy, Willow and Vamp 
Willow.  

Vamp Willow turned to Buffy. "I like her even less than I like you."

"What? Come on Red, are you saying that if you got turned you'd want 
us to let you wander around killin' everything in sight just coz you 
used to be one of us?"

"Well, no?but this is totally different, this isn't even her world, 
she doesn't belong here, it's not our place to decide how she dies." 
She looked to Buffy for support but Faith interjected.

"Come on B, what difference does it make? She's not your Willow, I 
know it'd be weird and all, stickin' a stake through her chest?" 
Buffy and Willow paled significantly at this thought. "?but if she 
had been turned you'd be able to do it right?"

"I?I don't know?" Buffy pulled Willow into a hug. "I'm not planning 
on it ever becoming an issue. Would you be able to stake Cordelia if 
she got bitten?" Buffy threw back accusingly.  

"I don't think we'd be short of volunteers for that job." Willow 
murmured into Buffy's ear, causing her to suppress a chuckle.

"Yeah, I would." Said Faith with utter certainty. This earned her a 
slap on the arm from the girl in question. "Jeez, what now? I'm 
saying that if you were killed and turned into a vampire I wouldn't 
let the demon that had killed you hurt anyone else using your body, 
is that such a bad thing?"

"Well?you don't have to sound so sure about it." Cordelia 
pouted. "Couldn't you try to sound a little uncertain? Would it 
kill you to pretend that dusting me might be a little bit difficult?  
Buffy managed it."

"I think we're all getting a little side-tracked here." Giles stepped 
in before Faith and Cordelia could get into another full-blown 
argument. "We've decided that extermination isn't an option, so what 
are we left with? Containment? How and where?"

"Well I suppose the best person to?oh my God." Willow stopped mid 
sentence and covered her eyes with her hand.

"What is it?" asked Buffy.

"She's got her hand down his pants, again." Willow said, mortified by 
her evil twin's lewd behaviour. Buffy turned to see that Vamp Willow 
did indeed have her hand down the front of Angel's leather pants. He 
was valiantly trying to squirm away from her but she was very 
persistent.  

"Come on Puppy, you know you love it when I do this?I can't wait to 
get you in chains."

Buffy went to Angel's aid, yanking Vamp Willow's hand back into full 
view and pulling her across the room, away from Angel's tempting 
crotch.  

"You're no fun." said Willow's Doppelganger, sticking her bottom lip 
out. "I can't believe you," she now addressed Willow, "not only do 
you have strange dress sense but you're going out with a slayer? I'm 
so ashamed."

"Just be quiet," said Buffy, impatiently. "OK, her idea about chains 
might not be so bad." Angel looked up, alarmed. "No, not you, her.  
We can chain her up at the mansion until we figure out what we're 
going to do with her?." Buffy's voice trailed off as her attention 
was drawn by something in the corner of her eye.

"Stop looking at her boobs." Willow scolded.

"I wasn't?I?they're your boobs actually, you can't be jealous."

"Well, just stop looking at them on her."

Buffy sighed. This situation did not look good for the future of the 
Scooby Gang.

TBC