FF: An extended Snippet...

[TheLadyLazarus@xxxxxxx]

Just another lurker with ambitions that extend beyond the boundries 
of her cave. This is just the middle portion of a monsterous story 
that's been bouncing around in my head for weeks now. Any opinions? I 
was shooting for par, but I'll be happy if I'm just coherent. 

Just please be merciful...I'm extremely new to BTVS, even newer to 
fan fic, and spell/grammar check is only capable of so much!! ;p 

-----------------------------------
With glazed eyes, Buffy watched the parade of social pariahs flash 
across the screen. There wasn't much to be said for daytime 
programming on a whole, but she had to surmise that anything was 
better than watching another episode of 'As The World Gyrates.' 

"BOOO!!" The final parting shot from the audience before the 
commercial break. With another three minutes before the results to 
Shandrekee's pap smear, Buffy decided it was time to run the gamut of 
television stations looking for something tolerable. 

Flip. 

*Christopher Lowell*

Flip.

*Martha Stewart*

Flip!

*The Furniture Guys*

Flip! Flip!

*Hometime*

Flip! Flip! Flip! Flip!

*Am I the only one in the world up before noon who doesn't give a 
shit about window treatments?!*

Finally the rapid succession of stations came to a halt.

'...Love, look at the two of us...' The sweet, lilting voice floated 
from the television towards her.

Buffy looked around the room stealthily, satisfied with the knowledge 
that she was alone, she turned up the volume on the 
television. 'Strangers...in many ways...' After sparing a glance 
behind the couch, Buffy slowly began to sing along. 

"We've got a lifetime to share, so much to say, and as we go from day 
to day..." She shut her eyes in pure, unadulterated bliss and felt 
her heart begin to soar...

*Puppy dogs...*

*Fields...with flowers...*

*Puppy dogs...frolicking in fields of flowers...* Her eyes began to 
water.

"Doo Doo Doo Doo Dooooo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Doo, Da-Da, Doo, Doo, Da-
Da Doooo!!" She hummed on and lost herself into the crescendo. 

Slam.

*FUCK THE DOOR!*

Scrambling for the remote, Buffy quickly flipped the television back 
to Shandrekee and her swab test but not before dropping the remote on 
her foot not once, but twice. 

Willow walked into the living room and was greeted by the sight of 
two transsexual midgets tearing out each other's hair extensions. 

"*Beep*BITC*beep*HE'S MY MAN*beep*SKANK-ASS*beep*"

"Your brain is going to turn into pudding if you keep watching this 
stuff."

"...Wha..Hrmm..." Buffy tried to clear her post-sob mucous back up.

Willow walked behind the couch and put her hand behind the familiar 
blonde head, "You know the first thing that goes is speech capacity."

"Whatever." A rough voice croaked.

At one time the gruff response might have played on the insecurities 
that had once defined who Willow was, but after all the years of 
trials, tribulations, confiding, and just being together she knew 
Buffy's gruffness was only a front. She knew Buffy would never hurt 
her. And likewise, she would never do anything cause her friend any 
pain to compile to her already considerable amount. She placed her 
hand on the Slayer's shoulder, relishing the feel of the soft blonde 
hair underneath it. 

*Trying to sneak a little PAX television programming, eh Buffy.* 

Willow closed in for the kill, "I know you weren't just lamenting 
over the sorrowful plight of that transsexual love triangle..." 
Willow leaned over so she was right next to Buffy's ear, "What where 
you really watching?" Willow quietly inhaled the aroma of Buffy's 
hair (She was after all, in the neighborhood), consciously deciding 
to save the justification of her close proximity and the decidedly 
unusual desire to press her nose into her best friend's hair for 
later. Much later. 

"Suspicious much? In case you were wondering, I've kept it off the 
Family Channel, and I really did mean it when I swore off old 
episodes of 'Saved By the Bell'..."

"So, why do you sound like you've just guzzled a jumbo mocha with 
razor blade sprinkles and a few extra frog packets?"

"Well, Shandreeke` just found out that her boyfriend Billy Bob, is 
not only her boyfriend, but is also her half-half-brother, after her 
mother slept with her transsexual half sister, Amy Rae, so Billy 
Bob's mother is really his father, but only half of his father, I 
think, but Shandreeke` is also pregnant with Billy Bob's love child. 
Who might actually belong to her best friend, Zeb. Oh yeah, and Zeb 
is the one who gave Carla Jo gonorrhea two years ago...You made me 
miss the results of her Pap Smear!!"

"I'm sorry I asked." Willow interrupted. "But since I opened my big 
mouth tell me, who exactly are you crying for on this show?"

*Shit! Busted.*

"Shandreeke`'s unborn child."

"Heavy stuff."

"Yeah. Heart wrenching."

"Okay, Buffy. Where you watching the 'Found' portion of Unsolved 
Mysteries?" 

No reply.

"The Lifetime Movie of the Week?"

Silence.

"Lemme guess...more 'Touched by an Angel'." Willow felt the shoulders 
underneath her hands begin to shake. 

"Heh...Willow..."

"Yeah?" Buffy's head started to bob up and down softly and Willow 
craned her head around to look at her face. 

"Did...you just say what I think you said?"

Willow turned bright red and started to stutter, "I...ah...meant that 
with..umm..no pun intended...I mean...no pun..no pun...absolutely no 
pun at all, intended...I didn't...oh...boy..." Buffy shook harder, 
her laughter becoming very apparent. Willow shook her head and 
sighed. And Buffy only laughed harder. "That's it, Missy! I'm writing 
a letter to my Congressman demanding a 
C-Chip is mandatory on all television sets!"

"What's the matter, Willow? Don't you like cheese?" Buffy mocked in a 
faux deep voice. 

"Ugh. Speaking of it, your taste in men is..."

"...Horrible. But still better than poor Shandreeke's." They turned 
to the television set and watched chairs fly across the Springer set 
with the kind of zealous fire that only free hotel accommodations 
could set. Willow walked around the couch and sat down next to Buffy, 
a few minutes later, she turned on her side and curled her legs on 
the couch without brushing into her friend. She felt them stretched 
out and laid across a lap, and soon after small hands started to 
slowly rub them. A feeling of contentment settled in the room, and 
all was well in the world. 

Even if it only lasted about an hour.