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Re: FIC :Immortal Pair ch1-3

To: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: FIC :Immortal Pair ch1-3
From: PChazzman@xxxxxxx
Date: Tue, 24 Apr 2001 22:33:25 EDT

Hhdouglas,

It is an Ok start to your story, however you need to work on the sentence 
structure. Use quotes for people's comments. Start a new paragraph when a 
different person speaks. This will give the reader a better story flow 
rather than have everything run together (easier on the eyes).

Chazzman

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