Re: Fic: Immortal Pair ch5

["Jason Bulle" <jbulle@xxxxxxxxx>]

though I am a lurker I have to offer advice, your story shows some promise
but your writing skills leave a lot to desire, I strongly advise reading a
few more books to pick up the habit of starting new paragraphs when the
speaker changes as well as the use of quotes, actually the use of paragraphs
at all would make for an easier read. simply stating that someone is naked,
without any description does not merit an NC-17 rating, the bland sentences
cupping of a breast might, but only if gore's wife is on the censor board.
if you add more descriptive terms and some passion to your work it will be
more enjoyable to write (and to read) If at all possible I suggest that (if
you are of age) you experience (role-play) what you are writing about in
order to feel the passion you are trying to convey. sorry if I come on too
strongly but I am a lover of science fiction/fantasy and want to read
stories that can take the reader into their embrace.
----- Original Message -----
From: <Hhdouglas@xxxxxxx>
To: <buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Thursday, April 26, 2001 10:19 PM
Subject: Fic: Immortal Pair ch5


> title: Immortal pair
> author: Hhdouglas
> feedback: please leave messages at buffywantswillow or send email to
> Hhdouglas@xxxxxxx
> this story can be archived at: presently buffywantswillow anyone else
> ask
> summary: crossover with highlander but characters from xena are
> mentioned by
> titles
> spoilers: too many eps to name from different
> shows
> disclaimers: Joss Whedon and Mutant enemy own rights to Buffy the
> vampire slayer characters.at present i do not know the name of the
> person,people,nor the company who owns the right to highlander.sam
> raimi owns the right to xena and the characters from that show.i am
> not stealing from them i am only using the characters from their
> shows in a fanfic story.it is not to be posted or distributed
> anywhere without my knowledge and the complete authorization of the
> owners of those three shows.the characters from xena will only be
> mentioned once and only by titles.
> warnings: this chapter is rated nc17 for definite reasons.
> age warning:for those over 18 who have an open
> mind
>
>
> Willow's curosity was piqued by cassandra's statement and she said
> cassandra please tell us more i am fascinated by ancient
> cultures.Cassandra said i will tell you about my people another time
> tonight we need to talk about the prophecy and some other things but
> first i think you two should clean yourselves up first.Buffy said yes
> both me and willow need to take a shower and there is no better time
> than the present. Cassandra said follow me and she led them
> to a fullsize bathroom.Cassandra said there are towels and washcloths
> in the closet and soap,shampoo,and conditioner in one of the
> drawers.Willow thanked cassandra and buffy was about to shut the
> bathroom door when cassandra said wait i need your sizes so i can get
> some clean clothes for you.Willow and buffy told Cassandra their
> clothes sizes and cassandra said she would hang the clothes on the
> doorhandle.Buffy shut and locked the bathroom door and then she said
> willow go ahead and take the first shower you are in worse shape than
> i am.Willow said ok and then she turned on the water in the shower
> and waited for the water to heat up so she could adjust it to her
> liking.while willow was waiting for the water to heat up buffy pulled
> out several towels and washcloths and then she got the soap and
> shampoo out of a drawer. after adjusting the water to her liking
> willow started taking off the remains of her clothes which were
> bloody and torn and buffy watched willow do it.Willow climbed into
> the tub and shut the clear shower door behind her.as willow was
> starting to lather up a washcloth buffy said willow we need to have a
> talk.Willow said go ahead i can listen while i am showering.Buffy
> said willow this is very hard matter for me to talk to you about and
> i hope you will hear me out before saying or doing anything.Willow
> said buffy you can tell me anything you know that.Buffy said not
> something like this because i know it goes against your
> religion.Willow said go ahead buffy i will do my best to hear you out
> and not interrupt you.for a few moments buffy was quiet and then she
> said willow when i looked into your car and saw your bloody body i
> nearly died.Willow said i'm sorry and she would have said more but
> buffy said willow please let me finish what i have to say its hard
> enough for me as it is. Buffy said willow as i was saying when i
> saw you in the car i nearly died because the very thought of living
> in a world without you would be a living hell for me.Willow said
> buffy i know you depend on me and that we are best friends but you
> would be able live on without me if i died at least i hope you
> could.there was absolute silence for a moment and then willow felt a
> cold draft of air from behind her and she turned around.Willow was
> shocked when she saw that buffy had climbed into the shower with her
> and she was completely naked.Buffy put the fingers of her right hand
> over willow's mouth and said willow please just listen.Buffy said
> willow you are my best friend but i feel a lot more for you than just
> friendship.Buffy said seeing you in the car accident made me realize
> that and when you came back to life i swore to myself to tell you
> that and thats what i am trying to do.Willow looked into Buffy's eyes
> and she saw deep love and devotion in them.Willow said you mean you
> love me and Buffy silently nodded yes and then she tried to look into
> willow's eyes but willow turned a quarterway around and adverted her
> eyes in a way that buffy could see them.Buffy mistook this as an act
> of repulsion or disgust and she cried willow please understand i love
> you please dont shut me out.this made willow turn back to face buffy
> and there were tears of joy gliding down her face from her watery
> eyes.Willow put her hand on buffy's shoulder and she said i would
> never shut you out buffy and then she raised buffy's chin with her
> other hand.Once buffy's chin was at its normal height willow saw that
> buffy's eyes were closed but there were tears rolling down her face
> as well.Willow wiped the tears from buffy's face and she said buffy
> please open your eyes i want to see them when i say what i am going t
> o say.Buffy opened her eyes and willow said buffy i dont know how to
> say this except to come straight out and say it.Willow leaned forward
> until she was about two inches from buffy's face and she said i love
> you too buffy.Buffy was shocked for this and it took a minute for her
> to overcome the shock.Buffy looked into willow's eyes and asked do
> you mean it.Willow leaned forward two inches more and kissed buffy on
> the lips for a few seconds.As willow pulled a few inches back she
> said oh yes i mean it.Buffy put her arms around willow's neck and
> gently pulled her into another kiss which they both joined in
> on.Buffy slid her arms down from willow's neck to around her waist
> and she said willow you have made me the happiest woman in the
> world.Willow said uh uh you are the second happiest woman in the
> world i am the first and then they kissed again.Buffy looked down at
> willow and saw that there was still dried blood caked in certain
> places on willow's body.Buffy said lets finish this shower and willow
> nodded.Willow and buffy made quick work of getting themselves
> clean.Right after willow turned off the water off Buffy smirked and
> she walked right up behind willow and she started sliding her fingers
> of her right hand through willow's hair which she had let grow out
> like it used to be.Willow raised up and she leaned back against buffy
> enjoying the sensation of buffy running her fingers through her
> hair.Buffy saw this and she brought up her other hand around willow
> and she gently touched willow's right breast.Willow was shocked when
> she felt the hand touch her breast and she looked down at her right
> breast and saw that buffy was cupping it in her hand.Willow said oh
> buffy and then she started to reach back with one hand to buffy's
> neck.A second later both buffy and willow jumped when they heard the
> chiming sound that buffy's cellular phone made when she was getting a
> call.Willow started to reach for the handle of the shower door when
> buffy stopped her.Buffy said whoever it is will call back if its
> important and then she lowered her head to willow's neck and kissed
> it before biting down gently.Willow jumped again and she said buffy
> what did you do that for.Buffy turned willow around to face her and
> said just marking my territory for all to see and then she kissed
> willow.They continued kissing for almost two more minutes and all the
> while the cellular phone kept giving off its chiming tone.Willow put
> a restraining hand on buffy's shoulder as she was leaning in for
> another kiss and she said buffy we have to answer the phone only
> giles or one of the others would let it ring this long and they only
> call when its important.Buffy said your right and she pulled open the
> shower door and they both got out.Buffy walked over to the counter
> where she had left her beltpouch and wallet.Buffy unzipped the belt
> pouch and took out her cellular phone.Willow picked up two towels and
> she unfolded one and put it around Buffy's neck.When buffy answered
> the phone giles yelled at her asking her what took her so long to
> answer the phone. Buffy said i was quite busy doing something very
> important now why did you call me.Giles said buffy you had better
> come straight here i have some bad news for you and its better if i
> tell you when your here.Buffy said giles i am quite busy at the
> moment and i dont know how soon i can get there so just tell me over
> the phone.Giles said buffy its better if you come here and hear it
> from me face to face you see a police officer called a few minutes
> ago and told us that there was a bad car accident earlier tonight
> that willow was involved in.Buffy waited a second and then she said i
> know all about the accident giles and dont worry willow is perfectly
> fine.Giles said how do you know about the accident and buffy said i
> came upon it as i was exiting the park on my routine patrol of the
> eastside.Giles said are you sure willow is fine and buffy said ask
> her yourself and then she said giles wants to talk to you and then
> she tossed the cellular phone toward willow.Willow quickly let go of
> the towel she had been drying of with and reached out with both hands
> to grab for the cellular phone which she caught.Buffy started drying
> off while willow talked to giles several minutes constantly telling
> him that she was perfectly fine and buffy's eyes kept roaming over
> willow's body while willow talked to giles.After a few more minutes
> Giles accepted willow's word that she was fine before he let her go
> after she promised that she and buffy would head for home as soon as
> possible.When willow closed the cellular phone buffy said giles sure
> does have the knack of calling at the absolutely worst time.Willow
> said come on buffy he was concerned about me and he wanted to tell
> you about the accident personally.Buffy said i know but i just wish
> he had waited a little bit longer before calling i was really getting
> into what i was doing.Willow smirked and said i was getting into what
> you were doing as well.Buffy started to reach for willow but willow
> stopped her hand and said buffy we need to get dressed and have our
> talk with cassandra about this prophecy remeber i did promise giles
> we would be home as soon as we could and if we keep it up it will be
> sometime tommorrow before we get there.Buffy said your right of
> course and boy do i not want to hear one of his speaches about
> responsibility and keeping in
> touch.
>
>
>
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