Fic: Another Chance Series: Decision (1/1)

[inell@xxxxxxx]

Title: Decision
Author: Inell
Email: Inell@xxxxxxx
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: My site, Kiss or Kill, 
http://members.fortunecity.com/kissorkill Anyone that has permission, take. 
Otherwise, just ask.
Rating: R
Pairing: Willow/Faith and Willow/Buffy
Follows Confused in the Another Chance Series
To anyone not ready to kill me yet :)


DECISION (1/1)


Buffy stood in the dorm room, her nude body cast in the glow of the lamp. She 
trailed her fingers delicately over the fading bruises on her breasts, the 
bite mark already gone. It had been four days since her entire world had been 
changed. Four days since she had realized that Faith, while in her body, had 
seduced and made love with Willow. Four days since Willow had looked her in 
the face. Now the redhead was rarely in the dorm, and when she was, she 
always seemed to be *busy*. Too busy to talk or even smile. It had been four 
days since she had felt the warmth of Willow's smile, and she missed it. 
Missed it far more than she had ever thought possible. There was an ache that 
was starting to spread over her heart and Buffy had no idea what to do.

The day she had found out, after Willow had run from the room, Buffy had 
taken a shower to try to wake up so she could think. During that shower, she 
had discovered the undeniable proof that her body had made love with 
Willow's. There had been a bite mark on her left breast, nothing deep but 
obviously made in the height of passion. There had been the bruises around 
her breasts, bruises that fit against her lover's fingers as they had kneaded 
her breasts. She had trailed her hazel eyes down her body, finding the other 
evidence of a night spent making love. The love bites on her stomach, the 
redness of her clit, the teeth marks on her upper thigh. She had never 
imagined that Willow could be that rough and the thought that her body had 
experienced that, well, it had made her wet despite the situation. To her 
horror, she had found herself running her own fingers over the marks, closing 
her eyes and imagining vividly how they had appeared. She had forgotten that 
it had not really been her and was soon pushing her fingers into her wetness 
until she had cum with a small cry of Willow's name.

Even now, remembering that Willow had touched her, bit her, tasted her, it 
made her wet. She couldn't understand why. She had never thought about Willow 
in that way, had she? Sure, she loved Willow. She was her best friend. The 
only female friend she had ever had. She wanted to protect her and keep her 
safe. And she had always found her attention drawn to those Willow's lips as 
she had wondered what the redhead had tasted like, she reluctantly admitted 
to herself. But, their friendship meant more than some passing lust. That was 
why she had never said anything. Well, that and the knowledge that Willow 
would have run screaming from her had she known some of the thoughts Buffy 
had had that she would not even admit to herself. And now, she had lost 
Willow. Only, it had not been something she had done or said. It had been 
Faith. It was all Faith's fault. It was always Faith's fault. If they hadn't 
traded bodies, well, she and Willow would still be friends and she would be 
able to be around Riley without comparing him constantly to Willow.

Buffy ran a hand through her brownish blonde hair, deciding that she had done 
enough thinking. This was stupid. It had not been her, it had never been her. 
It had just been her body. While she could understand if Willow was 
embarrassed, if that was why the girl was ignoring her, it didn't make things 
easier. She missed her best friend. All these thoughts she was having were 
new, or at least the fact that she would acknowledge them was new. She was so 
confused she could barely patrol. She found herself drifting off into an 
inner debate on whether her growing feelings for Willow were real or just 
some competitive reaction to the knowledge that Faith had had the redhead. 
She didn't think she was cold hearted enough to actually want Willow just to 
best Faith, so she discarded that idea, but it still stayed there in the back 
of her mind along with all the other doubts she was feeling.

Was she gay? For that matter, was Willow? Was this merely a friendly love 
that seemed to be blurring the lines of friendship and that of lovers? If she 
was gay, could Willow ever love her? Could they have a future with Faith's 
deed always in their past? Or was it Faith that had the redhead so 
thoughtful? Buffy knew from her time in the other slayer that there were 
emotions there. Maybe they weren't often shown, but they were there. Did 
Faith really love Willow or had it just been a stunt, a game? And, that 
night, had it been Buffy that Willow had made love with or had it really been 
Faith? She knew it had been her body, but it had been Faith inside. Faith's 
words and Faith's caresses. Faith's knowledge. Willow wouldn't talk about 
that night at all, so Buffy didn't know who Willow honestly believed it was. 
Sure, she knew at the time Willow had thought it was her. Now, though, 
knowing the truth, did Willow still want to believe it had been her or did 
the redhead understand it had been Faith? Buffy shook her head, knowing she 
was doing her best to give herself another headache.

Buffy moved towards her bed, pulling a large shirt over her head and then 
finding her sweat pants. She knew she wouldn't be going anywhere that night, 
having told Riley yet again that she had to study. She just found it 
uncomfortable being around him when she was dealing with so much inside. He 
was such a nice guy that she felt guilty for thinking about Willow when she 
was with him. He deserved better than that. So, she had decided to avoid him 
until she could understand what was happening inside. She was stuck though. 
Willow wouldn't talk about that night. Buffy couldn't understand it and move 
past it without knowing what had really happened. She knew Willow well enough 
to know that she had not been forced. Sure, Faith may have started it all, 
but Willow had been a willing participant. The big question that seemed to 
remain unanswered was did Willow have feelings for Faith? If she did, there 
was no way Buffy could come clean about her own doubts and fears and emotions 
and burden the redhead with that unwanted knowledge. But, if Willow wasn't 
talking, how was she supposed to find out?

Groaning, she knew the only path that she really had. She needed to find 
Faith. To look into the slayer's eyes and ask her if she loved Willow. If she 
did and Buffy felt that Willow could love Faith, there was nothing she could 
do. She'd have to deal with all of it privately, as she usually did. But, if 
she saw nothing in Faith's eyes, there would be nothing to stop her from 
going after Willow and making the girl see who really loved her. She hated 
the idea of losing to Faith, in a way, but she had to worry about Willow's 
happiness. While she didn't see a bright future being had for the girl with 
Faith, that was Willow's decision. It wouldn't be fair to make it into a 
contest as they usually made things. This was too important. If Faith hurt 
Willow, well, she'd be there to pick up the pieces. Buffy stood, knowing what 
she needed to do finally.

She was going to find Riley and break up with him. It wasn't fair to him to 
keep him around if she loved someone else. True, she wasn't sure the exact 
depth of her feelings for Willow, though she had a pretty good idea they were 
of the forever after kind. After that, she would find Faith. And she knew 
exactly who might know where the slayer was hiding. She glanced down, 
deciding there was no point in changing. She didn't need to be dressed up to 
break up with Riley. She hoped he understood, knowing somehow that he just 
might. She grabbed a bag and threw a couple of changes of clothes into it. If 
she hurried, she might be in LA by dusk.