Fic: Another Chance: Apology (1/1)

[inell@xxxxxxx]

Title: Apology
Author: Inell
Email: Inell@xxxxxxx
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: Kiss or Kill. Permission-take. Want-ask
Rating: R
Pairing: Willow/Faith and Willow/Buffy
Follows Enemy in Another Chance series


APOLOGY (1/1)


"I'm sorry."

Buffy froze, turning her head and staring at the brunette with shock.

"I can't believe it," Faith said with a wry smile, "two words and I've made 
you speechless. Should have tried that months ago."

"For what?" Buffy finally managed to ask.

Faith shrugged, "I dunno. For nothing, for everything."

"It doesn't mean anything if you don't even know why you're saying it," Buffy 
said, running her hand through her hair as she began to pace. She and Faith 
had left Willow nearly an hour before, having started to patrol without 
saying a word. In fact, this was the first they had spoken since leaving the 
dorms. Even after killing two vampires, they hadn't spoken. Now, they were on 
their way to Buffy's house and Faith decides to get something started. Well, 
Buffy was in no mood to start fighting. She was worried to death that she had 
lost her best friend and any chance of happiness she might have had.

"Why can't you just accept it?" Faith asked. "I'm sorry. Why do I have to 
tell you why?"

"Just accept it?" Buffy spun around and glared at Faith. "I think I've done 
enough accepting the past few weeks to last a couple of years. I'm done with 
it. I want to know why you're sorry. What finally penetrated your brain to 
actually make you feel remorse?"

"Fuck this," Faith said, moving past the blonde slayer.

"No more running," Buffy said, grabbing Faith's arm. She forced the girl to 
stop, catching Faith's angry eyes. "Why are you suddenly sorry?"

"I'm sorry I ever came here," Faith said. "I'm sorry that you resented me 
being here. I'm sorry that I killed Alan. I'm sorry that I helped the mayor. 
I'm sorry that I almost killed you and Willow and so many others. I'm sorry 
that I fucked Xander. I'm sorry that you didn't kill me. I'm sorry that I 
woke up from that damn coma. I'm sorry that I let you make me come back. I'm 
sorry...I'm sorry that I ruined what you and Willow had."

"I'm not," Buffy said softly, letting Faith's arm go.

"What?" Faith asked, caught off guard by Buffy's words.

"I'm not sorry that I didn't kill you," Buffy said. "I'm also not sorry that 
you ever came here. I learned a lot from you."

"Yeah," Faith snorted, "what not to do."

"Well, no one's perfect," Buffy smiled. "Faith, she cares about you. I know 
her well enough to see that. Don't let your fear stand in the way of 
happiness."

"Like you, you mean?" Faith asked.

"Yeah," Buffy sighed, looking at the street as she spoke, "Some slayer, huh? 
Too scared to even tell my best friend that I love her. I probably would 
never have even admitted it if you hadn't done what you did."

"See? I even fucked that up," Faith said, hating feeling sorry for Buffy. She 
had watched the blonde and Willow, knew there was something there. Neither 
might realize it, but it was a strong connection. "If not for me, you'd still 
have your secret and her friendship."

"Stop it," Buffy said sharply. "I'm still trying to deal with the idea that 
she now knows what I feel, but I feel better. Sort of like a heaviness has 
lifted. It's nice."

"And if you lose her?" Faith asked, watching the blonde's slight smile fade 
as true fear entered her hazel eyes. "Yeah, I know what you're feeling."

"I don't think I could do this without her," Buffy whispered.

"I doubt you have anything to worry about," Faith said. "You're best friends. 
Besides, she cares about you. I could see that."

"She was shocked, though," Buffy said. "She had no idea I felt that way about 
her. She doesn't think of me in that way. You, on the other hand, well, she 
was still attracted. I could see that much."

"Listen to us, B," Faith had to smile. "Reassuring each other that Red is 
gonna choose the other one. Would serve us both right if she told us both 
where to go and ran off with the moron."

"I think Anya might give her a bit of a fight on that one," Buffy said with a 
true smile. "But you're right. We're being stupid. Talking it to death is not 
going to change anything. She'll choose and we'll deal with it."

"But can we?" Faith asked softly. "I've stopped running, B. You're right, 
whenever things get too personal, I always run. I can't do that anymore. 
Hell, I'm a slayer. I enjoy being a slayer. I want to fix what I fucked up 
last year. I can't do that running. I probably only got a couple more years 
left if I'm lucky. I don't want to spend it alone and on the run."

"I hear the words, but do you really mean them?" Buffy asked, weary of 
Faith's big speeches.

"I do," Faith said, hating the look of doubt in her fellow slayer's eyes. She 
knew she didn't deserve anything better, but it hurt. "Buffy, I've spent most 
of my life alone. The council took me when I was eight. Not like my mother 
was ever home anyway, but after that, I never saw her again. Never knew my 
Dad. I'm tired of it. I hate being alone."

"Why are you telling me this?" Buffy asked.

Faith shrugged, "I dunno. I know you hate me, with reason. I doubt you could 
ever look at me without that hate. Willow is so special. I think she deserves 
so much. You can give her that."

"I don't hate you," Buffy said with a frown. "I'm not saying we'll ever be 
best friends, but I don't hate you. Like I said, I learned a lot from you 
before everything went wrong. If you really mean what you say, I'll help you 
though."

"Really?" Faith asked with a small smile. "You don't think I should just 
leave, go to LA or wherever?"

"Definitely not. Angel's got enough problems without you there," Buffy said 
with a genuine smile.

"Oh, so you can handle me and he can't?" Faith asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I think so," Buffy shot back.

Faith nodded, not challenging the elder slayer's words. Instead, she glanced 
at Buffy's house and asked, "Do you think you're mom will even let me in?"

"Funny thing about my Mom, she tends to forgive and forget," Buffy said, 
saying a small prayer that her Mom would handle Faith's arrival with ease.

Faith snorted, "You must not take after her then."

"What are you trying to say, slayer?" Buffy asked. "I'd say I was in a pretty 
forgiving mood tonight."

"This," Faith motioned with her hand, "Friendship or slayership or 
whatever...will Willow's decision change it?"

Buffy took a deep breath, "I don't know. I can't promise anything, Faith. 
Willow, well, she means so much to me. If she wants to develop something with 
you, it's gonna hurt. She's my best friend though, and I want to see her 
happy. I just can't lose her."

Faith smiled softly, seeing the tears in the hazel eyes and feeling guilty 
for having caused them in a way, "C'mon B. Willow said to give her some time. 
Let's not worry about it now."

"Easy for you to say," Buffy said quietly, following Faith up the stairs to 
her front door. She watched as Faith knocked and her Mother opened the door, 
eyes widening. She had to laugh as Faith spoke.

"Hey, Mom. I'm back!" Faith said with more courage than actually felt, 
expecting Joyce to shut the door on her.

"Buffy," Joyce looked from the brunette to her daughter. She saw the pleading 
her daughter's eyes and sighed, knowing they would be having a very serious 
talk later. "Faith, won't you two girls come in?"