Fic: Another Chance: Difficult Choices (1/1)

[inell@xxxxxxx]

Title: Choices
Author: Inell
Email: Inell@xxxxxxx
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: Kiss or Kill. Permission-take. Want-ask.
Rating: R
Pairing: Willow/Buffy and Willow/Faith
Follows Apology in the Another Chance series


DIFFICULT CHOICES (1/1)


Willow had never realized just how lonely her dorm room truly could be until 
that night. After having both Buffy and Faith in the small confines, it 
seemed even more empty after they had both left. In a way, it was silence 
that Willow welcome. In another, it unnerved her. She still couldn't believe 
that night had really happened. Even now, it seemed like some sort of bad 
dream. Both slayers wanted her, cared for her, loved her. It was too unreal. 
Had it been anyone other than Faith and Buffy, Willow would have believed it 
to be some sort of elaborate joke. She knew though that Buffy would never 
play with her feelings like that. And, in a way, she didn't think Faith was 
capable of that anymore. Looking at the brunette slayer, Willow had seen the 
changes. All small so far, but they were changes. Willow knew that Faith 
really meant her words of caring...really wanted to change.

It was all so annoying in a way. According to both girls, they had been in 
love with her for months. She couldn't help but wonder if one of them had 
said something back senior year how her life would have changed. She would 
avoided the entire disaster with Oz. No, not disaster, she amended mentally. 
She had loved him, in a way. Even now, she couldn't think about him with 
hate. They just hadn't been meant for each other. He had never really been 
able to give her what she needed, though at the time she had had no idea what 
exactly that had been. She still didn't really know. She knew she wasn't gay. 
After all, she had loved Oz, had had sex with him and enjoyed it in a way. 
She also knew that the night with Faith had been the first time she had ever 
truly felt special or loved. To this day, her body reminded her of the 
pleasure she had felt at Buffy's hands. She would wake up with an ache in her 
stomach and dreams fresh in her mind.

Willow groaned as she laid back on her bed. It wasn't fair of them to do this 
to her. It took her forever to decide what to wear to school. How could she 
possibly make a decision that would affect her entire life in less than a 
day? Did they really think she could do that? Could she? There was no way. 
She had spent days thinking over the entire fiasco in depth. Each time, she 
had never been able to come to any solid conclusions. Now, with Buffy's 
honest declaration of love and Faith's words of affection, everything had 
changed. With just three simple words, they had thrown her entire world 
askew. She was so tired of thinking. With that in mind, she got off the bed 
and grabbed her coat. She needed to escape from this room with the constant 
whispers of Faith and Buffy still in her mind. She had no idea where she was 
going, but it was going to help take her mind off her problems.

She walked around campus aimlessly for over an hour, no destination in mind. 
She was keeping her eyes open for vampires, but didn't run across anything 
unusual for once. It seemed that even the demon world knew of her mood and 
wanted to avoid her. She had walked around the commons for the third time 
before she realized that even out in the fresh air, she couldn't keep her 
mind off the difficult decision she was facing. It just seemed too ironic to 
have to choose between Faith and Buffy. Both girls were so different, their 
common link being the slayer. It was like choosing between night and day. 
Buffy representing the safety and warmth of the day while Faith stood for the 
danger and uncertainty of the night. How could she choose one and forever 
lose the other? She didn't think she could live without them both, and there 
was her big problem.

She was back at her dorm room, her mind a bit more clear, after another 
couple of hours. It was nearly two in the morning and she suddenly felt 
tired. All of the past few nights of restless sleeping had finally caught up 
with her. She was exhausted. She started towards her bed before changing her 
path. She pulled Buffy's covers down, laying down and smelling the sweet 
scent of the blonde slayer. She smiled softly at the familiar scents and the 
calm they brought to her. A vision of Faith made her stomach tingle as she 
drifted off to sleep, a decision of sorts finally reached.