Re: Fic: Soul Of An Angel (1/1) Revised.

["buffythebushkangaroo" <buffythebushkangaroo@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

> Are there any more at home like this?

Who knows what crap lingers yet on my hard drive?

*secretive smile*

Anne-Lise.

--


A presence hovering at the edge of Buffy's mind forced her awake. 
Angel's face hoved into view.
"Is it secret?" He demanded in a whisper. "Is it safe?"
Buffy suddenly realised she was naked. She screamed. Loudly.
"Wha?" Willow shot up beside her, equally nude.
Buffy screamed again, and Angel gave her a slap. "Is it secret?" he 
demanded once more, louder.
"Hey!" Willow fumed. "Nobody slaps Buffy. Except me! And that's 
only 'cos she's my bitch!" Angel stared at her. Willow crossed her 
arms in a huff."What? You got Cordelia, Faith and Fred. Buffy's mine!"
Angel nodded slowly. "I got Wesley too, but he cries like a baby 
when it bleeds."
Buffy contemplated screaming once more, just for good measure, when 
Dawn ran in.
"What's going on?" She asked. You woke up me and Tara.
Willow looked to the door. "Where is she?"
Dawn blushed. "Cleaning off the dried-up whipped cream."
"I'm here," Tara panted as she slipped into the room. She looked 
spotlessly clean.
Willow arched an eyebrow. "That was quick," she murmured. "Anyone'd 
think you used magic to get to the hard-to-reach places."
Tara blushed, her face turning as pink as Willow's nipples.
"The ring," Angel sighed. "Is it safe?"
Buffy nodded in the direction of her dresser. The ring sat in an 
ashtray amongst assorted crass jewellery.
Angel rushed over and scooped it up. The moment it touched his hand 
though, a vision of an eye wreathed in flames assaulted his senses.
"Aiee!" he cried. The ring flew from his grasp and landed on the 
floor.
Willow bent down and picked it up. "Ooh," she exclaimed. "Pretty. 
So pretty. My own, my precious..."
Buffy took it off her and put it in her pocket. "No big," she said.
"Precious," Angel mused. "Buffy! You must take the ring and leave 
here. Those that would seek its power are already on their way. You 
must take it to the Prancing Pony in Los Angeles. I will consult the 
Powers That be, and meet you there. They'll know what to do!"
"The Prancing Pony? That sounds like a gay bar," she ventured.
Angel nodded. "It is. Wesley thought it'd make a whole new concept 
in Karaoke, and Lorn had to agree or lose his daytime 
entertainment..."
"He would," Willow muttered.
Angel agreed. "Anyway, I kinda like the new look," he admitted. "My 
hair doesn't stand out as much, and my clothes are always in 
fashion." He took up his walking staff, grabbed his baby stroller, 
and left through the door.
Buffy stared after him for a moment before shaking her head. "Time 
to pack," she said.
Willow made a move towards the wardrobe. "That hat really didn't 
suit him," she said.

*

Giles frowned. "Your kind," he sneered at Dawn as he took a sip of 
his pink cocktail, "populate and convene in shopping malls, dress 
like whores, erode our morals, and ravage the very resources of this 
planet! I know of only one other species quite like you, Miss 
Summers. And do you know what that species is?" He didn't bother 
waiting for a reply. "Yes, Dawn, you... are a virus."
Dawn stared at Giles for a moment then twatted him over the head 
with a table-mat. "Whatever," she muttered.
"Ow!" Giles rubbed at the sore spot. He looked at the bickering 
scoobs. "Who among you will take this ring into the Hellmouth, and 
cast it deep into the very fires of Hell?"
Everybody took a step back and pointed at Buffy, who looked around 
and pointed at Xander.
"Oh, alright then," she sulked. She did an imitation of Anya. "Buffy 
has Slayer strength. Load *her* up with the ring."
"Its not really that heavy," Anya pointed out.
"Whatever," Buffy pouted. "I said I'll do it."
"I'll go with you," Willow said, stepping up beside her lover. Buffy 
gave her an affectionate squeeze.
"And I'll go too!" Wesley, demon-hunter, posed.
Xander sighed. "We'll all go. Its what we *always* do."
Giles looked at the motley bunch. Dawn fidgeting. Tara staring at 
her with cow-eyes. (Nothing new there.) Willow and Buffy, arm in arm. 
Angel staring about broodily. Anya and Xander joined in martial 
(similar to marital) bliss. Wesley and Lorn. God, what a 
nightmare. "Nine of you," he said. "How apt. You shall be the 
Fellowship of the Ring."
Buffy blinked. "For god's sake, we're only going back to the 
school."
"Um," Giles removed his glasses. "No, I said you had to go *into* 
the Hellmouth. Not *to* it."
Everyone looked at each other, nervously.
Buffy shrugged. "Whatever."

*

Mission impossible music failed to play as Angel rolled from one 
patch of shadow to another, trying hard to avoid direct sunlight for 
more than a fraction of a second. He paused, panting, waiting for the 
pain to subside and his hands to stop burning.
"Why don't we just take the sewers?" Buffy asked. "I'm sure your 
good friend Spike wouldn't mind..."
"I will not," Angel fumed, "take the sewers unless there's no other 
way!"
Willow stared up into the sparkling blue sky. "My, the sun looks 
bright today."

*

Water dripped from the ceiling as they hurried along the municipal 
sewerways.
"Bah," Angel grumbled.
Xander peered into the gloom. "What's the matter? Demons? Vampires?"
"No," Angel sulked. "I'm lost."
"Haven't we been going in a straight line?" Dawn whispered.
Tara hushed her.
Angel peered down each of the three directions he now faced. "Hmm," 
he pondered, tapping his chin. "The air smells cleaner this way," he 
gestured. "So that's probably not the way to the school. Let's go 
this way." He trudged on into the darkness. The scoobs followed after 
him.

*

The vampire horde surrounded the Fellowship.
"You're in trouble now, Slayer!" One chortled.
Buffy sighed. "How refreshingly original," she muttered. Suddenly 
the vampires ran away. All of them. "That's new," she commented. "But 
not terribly reassuring." The scoobs all noticed the corridor getting 
lighter behind them
"Its a Balrog!" Angel screamed, and legged it into the darkness 
ahead. Buffy looked to Willow, who shrugged.
Angel's voice echoed back to them. "Run, you fools!"
Run they did.

*

As the last scoob crossed the sewage pipe that bridged the 
overflow, Angel turned to face the oncoming demon.
"You shall not pass!" He screamed into the oncoming light.
The light grew brighter.
"I am the keeper of sacred gel, and I say you shall not pass!" he 
roared.
Wesley sighed, obviously in love. "He's so manly."
Dawn kicked his ankle. "He's dead, and possibly a eunuch."
The lighter grew brighter still, blinding in its intensity, and 
accompanied by a roaring sound of monstrous proportion.
Then the light angled away to reveal Spike on a moped. "Alright," 
he greeted. Angel was so shocked, he fell off the bridge into the 
darkness below.
"Bugger!" He dopplered, as he dropped away into the eighteen foot 
deep chasm.
Xander shrugged. "Never liked him anyway," he muttered. "Let's go."

*


"I can see why they call you Strider," Lorn sighed.
Wesley rounded on him. "Tell me, why?" he asked.
"Tramping around heavy-footed. I'm surprised our enemies haven't 
heard you coming from a mile away."
Wesley pouted. "I am *not* heavy-footed!" He whined. "I mince most 
daintily."
Willow tried not to fall over laughing. Buffy didn't even try to 
hide her mirth.
"Actually," said the elf who pointed his arrow at Wesley's 
throat, "we heard him mincing from three miles away!"
Wesley stared at the arrow. "Nice shaft," he complimented. Then the 
situation kicked in. "Oh," he sighed. "Bugger."
The owner of the arrow motioned for Wesley to get moving. "You are 
now under the protection," the elf sneered, "of the Lady of the 
Assembly Hall. And she hates to be kept waiting, especially on 
Fridays."
"I so agree," Anya spoke up conspiratorially. "I really hate it when 
I'm ready to shut up shop and some dreary old baggage starts talking 
about her unimportant little life..."
An elf peered at her curiously. "Why don't you just make them... go 
away?"
"Oh, I do." Anya admitted. "I say, 'Please go away, but come back 
Monday! And bring more money!'" She smiled sweetly.
"Nice," the elf complimented.

*

Galadriel Chase, Cordelia's evil and identical twin sister (albeit 
with pointy ears) stared out over the Fellowship. "There are only 
eight amongst your number. Where is Angel, for I dearly wish to 
admire his cute ass."
"He fell off the bridge," Buffy admitted.
"Yeah, what a doof." Xander agreed.
Angel ran up to join the group. "Actually, I'm alright," he 
said. "My big hair protected me from evil."
"How, exactly?" Buffy asked, mystified.
Angel shuffled his feet. "It got caught on an outcropping. Does it 
look okay?" He patted his head gingerly. His hair looked no different 
to normal.
"Never better," Willow mollified.
Willow looked to Galadriel. "So. Here we are. Now what exactly do 
you want with us? To provide us with aid, or to stand in our way?"
Buffy stood next to Willow and fondled her bottom lovingly. "Yeah, 
short stuff. What do you want with us?"
"Even the smallest of us," Galadriel replied sweetly, "can change 
the course of the future." She looked Buffy up and down. "Although of 
course," she amended, "probably not quite in those shoes." She turned 
to her magic mirror and preened.
"Screw you," Buffy muttered. "I'm the one with the Mithral 
breastplate, so there."
Galadrial stared at Buffy's breastplate. It was most definitely a 
breastplate. It couldn't be thought of as anything else in any other 
language, especially braille. She felt a flutter of jealousy.
"This is true," she conceded. "But I've got cool hair."
"So have I," Angel butted in. "But you don't see me making an issue 
about it."
Galadrial gave him a Look. "Aren't you supposed to be at home, 
looking after Conner, your child?" she asked.
"Well, yeah..." Angel admitted weakly.
Buffy stared. "You've got a kid?"
"Only the one." Angel threw her a sheepish grin.
Buffy gaped. "Oh. Well. That's okay then."
"Stay the night, " Galadriel offered. "And let us drink and be 
merry. For tomorrow, you may rested seek the path your weary feet 
must follow." She raised her eyebrows at Angel.
Buffy frowned. "We only need to go down the corridor to the old 
library," she muttered.
Galadriel glared. "A long and difficult journey," she hissed. "And 
one you'd find difficult to make with no legs! Now give me some 
private time with Angel-sweetums!"
"No!" Buffy said.
"You will," Galadriel screamed. "For I have the ultimate..." She 
seemed to calm down. "I have passed the test," she breathed. "Now I 
may retire to my home three blocks away and remain... forever 
Galadriel."
"You do that," Angel said. He patted Galadriel's ass as she passed 
by on the way out.
"Now for the Hellmouth," Willow sighed. Xander nodded, nervously.
"Yes..." Wesley breathed. "To cast within the sacred ring..." He 
made a mad grab for the ring. "Give it to me!" He stared longingly at 
the golden ring. "What a beautiful piece... My own... My precious..."
Angel beat him about the head until Wesley dropped to the deck, 
unconscious.
"God, that felt good." He said.