Repost: Fic: Half a World Away (4/?)

["dap311" <sjld5602@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Half a World Away (4/?)
Author: dap311 (sjld5602@xxxxxxxxxxx)
Pairing: B/W eventually
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: Buffy and Willow belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy. 
"Half a World Away" is Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe (R.E.M.) off Out of 
Time. 
Spoilers: This is set during their senior year in high school, but 
in an AU, so no real spoilers. There is no Oz is this universe. 
Feedback: Yes, please- any and all is welcome.
Summary: Willow is fighting depression, Buffy tries to help her. 
Distribution: Just ask. 



On her way over to Willow's, Buffy's mind was filled with many 
thoughts. First and foremost was how much she loved her best 
friend, and just how scared it made her to know that Willow was 
so close to the edge. She didn't want to lose her, but the slayer 
didn't know how to save her either- this wasn't a vampire or a 
demon that Willow was up against. Buffy knew if it were physical 
presence that was threatening her Willow that she'd be able to 
just fight it without thinking- it would be completely instinctual. As 
it was, her instincts to protect her best friend were in overdrive, 
but those instincts didn't tell her how to go about it. The only 
thing she knew she could do was be there for Willow whenever 
she needed her- even if it was 3 am (as it was at that moment). 
She'd do anything for her redheaded friend. As Buffy reached the 
Rosenberg residence she realized with absolute clarity that she 
would die for this girl who she loved more than anything. 
Willow must have been watching for Buffy from the house 
because she met her on the porch as the slayer climbed the 
steps. The two friends embraced immediately, holding tightly to 
the other as if both their lives depended on it. Willow truly felt that 
at this point her life did depend on how hard she held onto Buffy; 
her best friend was the only thing keeping her going at this point, 
the only thing she felt she could really live for. 
Breaking the hug for a moment, Buffy led Willow back inside her 
house, locking the door behind them. As soon as she had done 
that she reached out for her best friend again, gathering the 
redhead into her arms. Willow ducked her head and laid it 
against Buffy's chest, who in turn placed her chin on top of the 
silky red locks. With one hand rubbing the girl's back, the slayer 
brought her other hand up to Willow's head, softly stroking her 
hair, running her fingers through the strands as she tried to be of 
some comfort. 
No words passed between the friends for nearly twenty minutes; 
they just stood there, consumed in the presence of the other. 
Slowly, not wanting to break the contact, but wishing to move out 
of the entry way to the house, Buffy pulled away from Willow and 
looked down at the face of her best friend. What she saw broke 
her heart and brought tears to her eyes- she saw so much pain, 
so much torment, and so much confusion it hurt to see that in 
the person she loved most in the world. Looking closer, Buffy 
noticed that Willow's eyes were red and puffy, as if she had been 
crying recently. She hated to see her friend cry, but the slayer 
knew this might actually be a good thing, that Willow might 
actually be feeling something, after being numb for so long. 
"Hey Wills?" Buffy finally broke the silence, drawing up the 
redhead's face so that she could look her in the eyes. "Have you 
been crying?" 
The reply was quiet, almost inaudible, but Buffy could just make 
out the "yes" coming from her friend's lips. 
"Why? I don't mean to push or anything, or to imply that you 
shouldn't have been crying- I was just wondering cause you had 
said before that you couldn't cry, cause you couldn't feel 
anything. I mean, if you don't want to tell me that's okay. I 
understand." Buffy ended her ramble and looked into Willow's 
eyes. She wasn't sure what she saw in them, but she thought 
maybe she could make out distant hope, and that was all she 
needed to know that she could still save her best friend. 
"I-I, uh? I k-knew that when y-you saw me you'd be h-hurt at 
w-what you saw." Willow had begun shaking so hard that she 
was stuttering, her teeth chattering. She paused, took a deep 
breath and began again, this time with a little less shaking. "I 
haven't been able to cry for what I've done to myself, but I've seen 
how it affects you and that is what has made me cry. Knowing 
that this hurts you, that you are worried about me, that is what, in 
the end, makes me cry, makes me upset. The last thing I want 
is to hurt you, but it does and I hate that. I don't want you to hurt- I 
love you too much." Willow sighed before going on. "I love you 
Buffy. I can't love myself right now, but I love you with all my 
heart, however much that is worth. I can't feel for myself, but I 
can feel emotion for you. Without that I have no hope. But 
sometimes not even that is enough?." Willow trailed off and 
leaned into Buffy again, as if the short speech had exhausted 
any reserves she had left. For her part Buffy just held on tighter 
than before, knowing that she never wanted to let the girl go 
again. 
Buffy opened her mouth after a few minutes, ready to tell Willow 
what she had been thinking, but as she did she looked down at 
the redhead and saw that her eyes were closed and her 
breathing had slowed to a gentle rhythm. So instead Buffy 
carefully gathered her best friend up into her powerful arms, and 
mounted the stairs, headed for Willow's room. Gently laying the 
girl on the unmade bed, Buffy broke contact long enough to slip 
off her jacket and shoes before climbing into the small bed and 
pulling Willow into her arms. Not knowing if this was more of a 
comfort for Willow or herself, Buffy drifted off into sleep with 
Willow's head tucked under her chin, their bodies close and 
snug together. A thought far back in her mind of just how nice 
this felt was barely forming as the slayer fell into a deep and 
restful sleep. 

To Be Continued.