Re: FF: Love, Pain, and Fear 1/? ...

[Nathan Campbell <NathanCampbell@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Great stuff - I can't wait to see where you're going with this! Not to
mention where you're coming from; are you planning on putting some
more of the backstory in, perhaps in flashback form? 'Cause that would
be cool, though I'm certainly not trying to demand anything. Uh
anyways - this was great! With the assumption that there will be some
sort of explanation of Buffy's apparently souled status forthcoming
(even if it's just something like a brief passing mention that slayers
don't lose their souls when turned, or whatever the case may be), I
only really have one minor quibble, and it's really no fault of your
own. This is it: it seems to me that the phrase "tongues battled for
dominance" is becoming rather cliched; I just recently read a fic (not
from this list) that used it about every 3 lines or so, so it kinda
bothers me right now. But that's really just a personal thing anyways.
So, as I was longwindedly saying - this was excellent, especially for
an initial offering! I eagerly anticipate your future works :-).

Nathan Campbell
NathanCampbell@xxxxxxxxxxxx

When sun sprays the earth
with straight-falling flames,
a cricket rubs his wings,
scraping up thin sweet song.
-Sappho