The Slayer And The Witch - Chapter 14/? - Who Put The Mo In Mojo?

["Stefan Akerblom" <nagarek@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hi all.

Here's the next bit of story, R/L has been a bit thick and full on
lately, hence the slowness of updates, so apologies in advance for the
people following this, Life has a habit of butting in where it's not
really wanted. Anyway please enjoy.


Stefan Akerblom
nagarek@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ICQ: 156764542




The Slayer And The Witch - Stefan Akerblom - nagarek@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Critique: Yes please, but no flames (I'm flammable)
Warning: Building to NC-17, f/f relations, possibly f/f/m
Characters: Willow, Buffy, Xander, Anya, Giles, Tara, Angel, Dawn,
Spike, Wes, Cordy, Oz (?), nurse Becky Chapel, nurse Erin Lonsdale,
Main Pairing/s: Willow & Buffy, maybe Giles/Becky/Erin - who wants to
see that? :o) (not sure yet about Anya/Xander ... maybe) time will
reveal all!
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all in the Buffy Universe, I have merely
played and embellished, not claimed any rights, apart from a couple of
nice nursies!

Brief: Buffy and Willow have both recently lost their partners, Willow
is hospitalised and Buffy is almost paralysed with guilt over it, both
Willow and Buffy realise how much they really mean to each other, they
embark on a voyage of discovery and figuring out a way to break their
new relationship to their friends while keeping the minions of the
hellmouth from taking over. Meanwhile solutions present themselves which
can have far reaching effects on Buffy and Willow's future.

Distribution: Anyone who likes it enough to host it, just please give me
a link to where it's hosted

Many thanks go to:
Crys Loch (pagansoul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx) for answering my email, and a lot
of inspiration and much encouragement (you said just the right things to
make me think while I channeled Willow),
Dan Spector (danspector@xxxxxxxxx) for some much needed help with
authenticity,
Casandra (jeepy91@xxxxxxx) for answering some silly and some very
awkward questions, you're very special
Thanks also to all the other great people on BuffyWantsWillow, you make
this worth so much to me,
and to Cairo (played at ear-splitting volume) for setting the mood.
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Chapter 14 - Who put the mo in mojo?

"Uh ... I haven't been in because I didn't know until recently that you
were here. I usually got my supplies from Sandersons in San Fran, their
catalog's pretty extensive, not to mention they're on the web, I could
order across the net and have my stuff sent out usually within a couple
of days, all dependent on availability of course. Goblin hands and
hearts and mummy teeth and stuff are usually a couple of extra days
wait." Giles nodded as Erin explained why she'd never made an appearance
in the Magic Box.

"SEE? I TOLD you we should have set up a web page, but NOOO ... Mister
'I don't like anything that's newer or more complicated than the
crossbow' over there, is just too scared of computers and technology for
that! I'm surprised we have phones here ... he'd probably prefer ...
smoke signals!" Anya shook her hands in exasperation at Giles, and
turned around, while Xander tried to intercept her hands and hold them
still in his own. "I mean look at this cash register ... it predates
Columbus for cryin' out loud!"

"Shh ..." he shh'd at her. Anya looked at him and rolled her eyes.

"What? AGAIN? I'm doing it again?" Xander closed his eyes, smiled and
nodded. Anya pursed her lips in annoyance, and crossed her arms in
defiance. She continued, a bit more quietly. "Well I'm still right, we
should have set up a web page! Now we're way behind the times again, as
usual ... think of all the lost profit ..." she pouted and muttered "...
things were so much simpler when I was a demon ..." Giles looked over
his shoulder briefly in annoyance, then turned back ignoring Anya's
outbursts.

"And you say you can feel Willow's ... er ... her wicca power, even
now?"

"Yeah, I felt it right away in the hospital when I first saw her, it
was awesome, almost overpowering. I haven't felt that much power before
in a single person, like you're a powerplant of mojo energy or
something." Erin gushed at Willow, who just sat and smiled while her
bruised face turned pink. " I knew you were a very powerful wicca right
then, but I didn't think it was the right time or the place to talk
about witchcraft." Willow sighed and looked down at her hands.

"Yeah ... wicca in reform anyway, I'm not practicing any more ... I've
... had my days of ... of Glory." Willow smiled sadly and looked at her.
"You know a lot about wicca?" Erin returned her look, and then cast her
eyes about the group, who still stared openly at her, amazed at the
similarity between herself and Willow. They weren't identical, but the
differences were hardly noticed, the similarities far outweighed them.
Her personality was more confident however, more outspoken.

"Yeah I know a fair bit ... but ... why'd you quit Willow, why now? You
have power I would love to have, power I could only dream about having,
I can feel it coursing through your body right now, it's like a
whirlpool of energy in the middle of this room, anyone who's used magic
in any way should be able to feel it ... I ... I can almost see it ...
you ..." she looked again at the rest of the group. Giles cleaned his
glasses absently, then put them back on.

"Willow was ... sucked into the ... well the Dark Side, for want of a
hackneyed term bandied about by overly melodramatic science fiction
movies. Willow became addicted to the power ... and it very nearly
destroyed not only herself but ... it nearly took some of us with it ...
as well." The second red-head shook her head in amazement, looking at
the ground at her feet with clouded and confused eyes, but then they
cleared and she looked up at Giles.

"That's impossible Mr. Giles, wicca doesn't have that kind of influence
it has no Dark Side. Wicca is pure and good magic, earth magic. What you
describe isn't wicca at all, it ... it's ... evil, dark magic. And ..."
she trailed off and looked back to Willow who sat quietly through the
conversation, then her brows crinkled as she understood. "Oh ... you ...
didn't just ..." Willow looked at her and her eyes were filled with
sadness. She wrung her hands and scratched at her wrist where the
plastic brace had been put back. She began to speak softly.

"I ... did ... Buffy ..." she hesitated, then realised what she'd said
and shook her head and began breathing rapidly in embarrassment "... I
... uh ... no that ... that's not what I meant ..." she sighed and took
a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Buffy died. Several months later I
brought her back." Erin and Becky both gasped and looked at Buffy, who
looked back and the ghost of a smile crept onto her lips as she spoke.

"What can I say ... I got better." Erin clapped her hands to her lips
and her eyes widened. She hissed.

"Oh Sweet Diana! You used the Satrazon Codex, didn't you?" Willow
looked sideways, her eyes full of grief, here was someone who really
knew and understood what she'd done.

"Uh ... and the Verbeeg Grimoire, the um ... Salazar Texts and the ..."
she looked up at the dumbstruck Giles with big sad eyes "... the
Adjubadjani Writings." Erin simply goggled at what Willow had just said.
Angel remained silent but his eyes clouded over with a look of dire
concern, Wes sat silently and grabbed his chin and shook his head,
closing his eyes as it dawned on him what Willow had really done. Giles
slapped his hands to his forehead and gave out a sharp gasp. 

"OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN!" He stalked away and lost himself among the
cabinets and book shelves, they could all hear his cursing and muttering
and crashing about from where they sat and stood, this was the most
agitation he'd ever openly shown them since they had first gotten to
know him. Buffy felt something, an odd feeling in the back of her mind
about Giles, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Erin knelt down
before Willow and looked into her eyes from below. Then as the red-heads
continued speaking, everyone's eyes returned to that conversation. Erin
swallowed and continued, her voice subdued and hushed in awe.

"A ... and you're still alive ... and sane ... it didn't kill you or
... or do anything else ... worse?" Erin looked at her wide eyed in
complete and utter amazement.

"Well ... uh ... I'm sane ... at least I think I'm sane ... and I feel
alive, the ... the doctors said I was alive, I had a beating heart and
... everything. But it did affect me ... and pretty badly ..." Buffy
cleared her throat.

"Ahem ... for those of us not completely into the Readers Digest
witchcraft series at this time, can someone please explain what the heck
all this means?" Becky stood beside her with her arms crossed and nodded
agreement. Giles made his way silently out of the book stacks, his eyes
red rimmed and his face white, his glasses held carelessly by one arm.
He stood and listened. Becky spoke up.

"Yeah baby, not all of us are as up on witchcraft as you guys,
especially me, it gives me the willies sometimes with what you do." They
all looked at Erin. Xander spoke softly.

"So you're a practicing wicca too then, not just that you know a lot
about it?" Erin nodded and turned to look at him.

"Yeah I'm practicing, but my main strength is healing and empathy
magic, but I have done a lot of extensive research into all types of
magic. I can never hope to get as powerful as Willow, even if I live to
be a hundred, she has more power than I have ever seen in one individual
before, and believe me I've seen people with some pretty heavy wicca
power. And from what she just said, she's lucky to be alive." This again
brought looks of confusion and concern from everyone, Xander looked like
he'd somehow understood a part of the danger without having to know the
mechanics of the magic. Erin saw the confusion so she continued. "I'll
try to explain, so stick with me guys, this isn't completely cut and
dried so I'll try my best to make it understandable." She stood back up,
composed herself, and sighing deeply she began speaking, pacing the
floor before Willow. "The worlds and the spheres around the worlds, the
other dimensions, are filled with power, with essence and energy we all
call magic. On earth this energy is available to those in tune with the
world, in touch with the bands of power that binds us and surrounds us
all and weaves it's way between us and through us all like ..." she
struggled for an analogy and shrugged "... like the force. Willow
channelled magic that's not meant to be tapped into by us mortals, magic
... so primordial ... so powerful that it's usually reserved only for
the gods themselves, and even they don't like using it. The books she
used, the grimoires and codices, they're books written by people who
spent their entire lives researching powerful sorcery and magic, often
being driven insane by their work. The power of the magic is such that
mortals should never be allowed access to this stuff. But these guys
were the ... the mediaeval equivalent of ... uh ... computer hackers,
they tapped into the streams of primal magics and were able to record
their findings and describe what was necessary to complete some of this
... grimmest magic. Often it delved into power that taps into what's
called the Maelstrom Of Hellfury, a sort of whirlpool of chaotic primal
magical energy which is what powers Hell itself and all it's many sub
dimensions. Death Magic like Willow used, breaks through the natural
barriers between the spheres, into the hell dimensions and uses this
primal hell power, and it's not meant for mankind to use. There's
usually severe consequences, and often something monstrous and powerful
inhabiting hell, sees when it's being used and where it's going, they
can often trail the flow of energy back to this sphere, back to the
worlds of the living. The gods themselves rarely use this power because
of it's corrupting influence. But like Mr. Giles said, it's like the
Power of the Dark Side, it's easier, it's quicker, it's pure evil and
it's dirty ... and it taints you. Wicca is white magic, good magic,
earth magic, it belongs in this world and is what this world is
ultimately made of. And the two can't easily mix, they fight for
supremacy, that's why users of both magics usually stand a pretty good
chance of going insane trying to control and balance them, the magic
fights in their system until one side or the other takes over, and it's
usually the dark magic that wins, it just overwhelms the senses. That's
why I was wondering if Willow had been affected by it in some way,
whether mental or physical or emotional or whatever." She sighed and
stopped for a moment, looking for the words to make her point as easily
as possible. "Willow is lucky to be sane, let alone alive, once bitten
you usually stay bit. If you have been able to break the bond to the
dark side and live and you're still completely sane, you've done
something I have never heard of throughout all of written history,
usually if someone has the strength to break away, the struggle for
freedom ends up with the person dying in some way." she looked with
concern at Willow, then back to the Scoobies. "The Dark Side doesn't let
go of it's children easily." Willow spoke softly and betrayed the cost
of what had befallen her by shuddering unconsciously.

"Well, i ... it wasn't easy ... it hurt me, physically and mentally a
... and I suppose emotionally too. And it cost me, more than I think I
will ever be able to fully understand. A ... and I couldn't have done it
without Buffy, and Dawn ..." she paused and frowned, looking very sad
"... a ... and the rest of my friends ... who stuck by me through it
all." she suddenly looked up with glistening eyes. "I ... it's not going
to affect anyone else is it, I've paid enough haven't I ... f ... for
what I did?" Erin looked at her with pursed lips, she tucked her hair
behind her ear and looked into Willow's eyes.

"Willow, you know that magic always has a price, always has
consequences. I hope for your sake, and that of all your friends, that
you have finished paying the price, but I can't be ... I can't tell you
that for sure. Using magic like that could have cost not only your life,
but your soul too ..." Buffy's mind went back to Tara's words to her in
private about the spells, and turned pale at the memory of what she had
told her, what could have happened to Willow, how much Willow had been
willing to sacrifice to bring Buffy back.

"Wuh ... waitaminnit ... her soul? Whaddya mean her soul, has she lost
her soul or ... or did she ... has she ..." Xander began babbling and
gesticulating. Wes cleared his throat and spoke for the first time since
Erin's introduction, his words soft and sibilant. 

"Xander, she means that Willow could have mis-cast the magic and lost
her own soul in the process, IF something had gone wrong. It's ... often
one of the prices you bargain with when you cast magic of this nature,
you quite often use your own soul or the souls of others ... among other
things ... as a prize to tempt the primal powers. There is nothing as
sweet and pure and tempting to the powers of evil, as a good and
innocent soul." He sat upright and took off his glasses. "The
combinations of magic in the texts she used, they ... they're not always
... compatible ..." he pinched the bridge of his nose and pursed his
lips trying to find the right words "... some of the magic is mutually
exclusive, it fights the other magic for ... right of way ... I suppose
you could say, for supremacy. And to keep that in check, to keep the
power in balance is an enormously complex and tiresome task, one I
wouldn't ever imagine myself or anyone else having the courage to take
on ..." He put his glasses back on and looked to Buffy, who looked back
at him with terror filled eyes. He turned and looked again at Willow
with renewed respect for her. He again spoke softly. "We could very
easily have lost Willow right there and then, not just Buffy. And not
just to the Dark Side, but her very life and soul itself could have been
forfeit. She might have died and been beyond salvation, her soul trapped
and tortured for all eternity or ..." he gulped and looked at Willow,
his voice lowered to a whisper "... or even ... devoured ..." His voice
trailed off. Xander and Anya stood and stared dumbstruck at Willow.
Xander swallowed and licked his lips nervously, eyes wide and staring at
Willow, his voice strangled and tense, his shaking hands waving
aimlessly.

"We didn't know anything about this! And like idiots, we just sat there
and watched snakes coming out of her mouth and saw her body slashed open
and bleeding by the magic, we ... we just sat around Buffy's grave like
... like damned boy scouts around a bonfire, and let her do this, we let
her nearly kill herself ... we didn't know ..." Willow spoke up then,
her voice pained and her eyes looking at Xander, pleading for
understanding.

"Xander, NOBODY knew, e ... except Tara and she only knew a very small
part of it. I told nobody because I knew you'd all fight me, you would
have stopped me from doing it if you'd known, a ... and I needed all of
you so much then... I needed your strength and your support." She looked
around the room. " But I knew what I was risking, I knew the danger I
put myself ... and ..." she turned back and her eyes again locked with
Xander's "... and you guys in, I never offered your souls, I only
offered mine. I knew it was dangerous. But I knew I could do it, I ... I
knew if you helped me I ... we could pull it off. And you DID help me,
because you didn't know the ultimate price I would have to pay if I
failed, you only knew that I could succeed, because I didn't let you
know that I COULD fail. And I was right, e ... even though it seemed I'd
messed up right at the end. My heart nearly stopped all by itself then
because I thought I'd failed, and I'd not only lost my own soul, I'd
killed us all. But the spell worked, the power had already been drawn
through the blo ... through the urn of Osiris. I just didn't know it,
and by that time I was too exhausted to know much of anything." She
looked up at Buffy who had stood with glistening eyes through most of
this exchange. "But I ... I thought ... I just knew in my heart that
Buffy was suffering ... agony, terrible pain ... somewhere in a ... hell
dimension ... and I had to save her ... I just had to because ..." she
looked back to Xander and her voice lowered, shaky and tremulous with
her convictions "... because I love her so much ... and I just couldn't
sit back and let her suffer like that, not when I had a chance, not when
I could bring her back to me ... to us. I would do anything ... anything
... I would pay any price, even if that ... if that meant ... my own
..." She swallowed and her face began falling then, her eyes filling
with tears "... I ... I had no idea ... sh ... uh ... she was in he ...
heaven." She looked back to Buffy, her lower lip trembling and her
composure falling apart completely. "I ... uh ... I'm so ... s ... sorry
Buh ... Buffy ... so ... so sorry ..." Buffy lowered herself to her
knees and embraced Willow who grabbed her spasmodically, tightly,
apparently clinging on for dear life, her head on Buffy's shoulder.
Buffy whispered quietly to her, and everyone else looked around
uncomfortably.

"Shhh ... hey it's ok, Will ... please, it's ok, I ... I don't mind ...
really. I ... I'm just glad we've found each other like this ..." She
stroked Willow's hair. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else now, not
even heaven. Hey ... I'm there ..." Willow looked up, her eyelashes
clotted with thick tears and her cheeks wet, her lips twisted, the
trembling stopped. Buffy smiled at her and stroked her cheek "You know
that ... that I'm really in heaven now, because you're here ... with me
... by my side." Willow's lips again began trembling and she let out
racking shuddering sobs as she buried her face in Buffy's shoulder
again. 

"Giles went over to Angel, and spoke softly, Becky and Erin were both
close enough to overhear.

"Angel, it's getting close to sundown outside, maybe it's best we chain
you up before it becomes too late." Angel nodded and began rising out of
the chair. Becky's eyebrows shot up as she listened, Giles looked over
to her, seeing the look in her eyes. "Oh ... oh ... uh ... don't worry,
it's not what you ... ah ... I'll let one of the others explain." He
went with Angel towards the door leading down to the cellar. Buffy
leaned across and whispered.

"Nothing to worry about ... uh ... yet, Angel's a vampire."

Becky and Erin looked at each other, eyebrows raised in alarm. Becky
spoke with a soft voice betraying her amazement, her senses numb with
all the revelations of the day.

"Oh?"

"Yeah ... Wes and Angel fight demons and monsters and stuff in L.A."

"Oh!"

Becky looked at her partner, took a deep breath and shook her head. 

"Jeeze Erin, and I used to think YOU were into some heavy crap!"

---------------------------------

"So this Spike guy, he's a vampire too, same as Angel? And ... a ... a
demon ... Thassos killed him? Sounds Greek." Becky sat and pointed at
the shirt lying on the table in front of her.

"Thassoq, a Morgal demon, a mercenary creature, as usual bent on
destruction and any sort of carnage he's capable of causing." Wes said,
he pulled out a cell phone. "If you'll excuse me, I have some phone
calls to make." He began pushing buttons and walked off to another part
of the store.

"And he had this ... this amulet that can make Angel evil again,
release his soul? And now the demon likely has it? Whoever heard of a
vampire with a soul anyway? Aren't they supposed to be demons as well?"
Buffy nodded, sighed and stretched.

"Angel's soul, now that's a long story, and we can go into that some
other time. But the rest of it just about sums things up I suppose.
Angel went out searching for Spike to see if he'd found the amulet, and
when he got to the crypt, all he found was a scorched patch of grass
with his clothes lying nearby. Dawn, could you please make us all some
drinks?" Dawn sighed and stood up from where she'd been sitting in an
easy chair. Unenthusiastically she spoke in a monotone.

"Ok, what does everyone want?" She walked over to the table, her eyes
again cast down at the clothes.

"Yeah and Spike's not about to go streaking through the cemetery
without his bat-cape on, he's got this thing about the coat ..." Xander
stretched back in his chair, hands behind his head. "Thinks he looks
cool in it or something. Uh ... make mine a white coffee Dawnie,
thanks."

"Tea for Giles and Wes, Coffee Buffy, Cocoa Anya and Willow ..." Dawn
looked at Erin, who smiled and nodded "... and Willow-two and me,
Becky?" Becky looked up.

"Uh ... Coffee please, black and not too strong. What about this other
guy, this Cola ... or whatever his name was, he's here too? What ... is
this Hell Central Railway Station or something?" Becky sighed as she
tried to understand the words she had been hearing, her life with her
wife had been one of exploration and discovery about supernatural power,
but she'd had no idea it was so heavily concentrated in Sunnydale, as
she was now finding out. Erin reached out and squeezed Becky's hand.

"I've told you sweetie, this is the hellmouth, evil gathers here
because it's like a focus point, it's the junction of many ley-lines of
power, that's why there's always been such a heavy population of evil
creatures here. But that's also why normally ordinary people can draw on
the power of the ley-lines and become powerful sorcerors and witches
too. There's just a lot of power here, free for the taking by whoever is
strong enough, has the most willpower and wants it badly enough. Willow
is a good example of it, I'm a little older than her and I've studied
magic for longer, but her power is hundreds of times stronger than mine
will ever be, no matter how hard I study, and she's capable of growing,
of becoming even stronger, but she stopped, she's not achieved her
pinnacle yet, not by any means. Goddess only knows how powerful she
would become if she continued studying." Willow looked down at her hands
resting in her lap.

"Well that's not likely to ever happen, I've joined Magicians
Anonymous, I'm in rehab. The magic nearly destroyed everything for me,
and I'm never going to let it happen again" Erin looked at Willow, her
eyes beckoning for attention. Willow looked up at her.

"Willow, the magic didn't do it, the evil in the dark magic did it.
White wicca magic is nothing like that, it brings ... a sense of well
being, of being as one with the world, of being part of something really
wonderful. The dark side is completely the opposite of all that, it's
greed and pain and power and control. I think I know how you got
addicted to the dark side. I ..." she looked earnestly into Willow's
eyes. "... I think I see the taint in your aura, and I think I can feel
something watching through it ..." She looked at Buffy. "... and ... I
can remove it for you, that's my special power, I can empathise and
repair and heal you." Willow shook her head in quiet resignation.

"No, I won't be dragged into it again, I've caused enough suffering and
paid too big a price for what has already happened, I'm not going there
again ..." Erin shook her head.

"You don't understand, the taint is there, it's part of you now, and
it's being used, it's like a ... a closed circuit camera, and someone's
watching and waiting for you to slip, for you to go to sleep one day a
little more tired than normal, a little more vulnerable ..." Willow
looked at her, eyes questioning.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean something is using you, something knows all about you, and all
of your friends, and now Becky and me too, something is paying attention
to you and everything and everyone around you. And one day it will
strike, when you least expect it, and it will hit you hard. Without your
wicca power, you are completely helpless and vulnerable, and so are your
friends, you will be unable to defend yourself, let alone anyone else.
And you will become lost to the dark side." Erin eyed the other members
around the table, her eyes showing her concern, she licked her lips and
stared hard at Buffy, who looked back at her, silently pleading for her
to help. Erin saw the look and nodded "If you won't do anything about
that or let me do it for you, then you will always be a target, you will
always be vulnerable, until ... until the end. Do you know who or what
could have put the taint there?"

Buffy suddenly stood up, eyes blazing.

"Son of a bitch!"

To be continued in:

Chapter 15 - You won't like me when I'm angry