OT: APB

[Phoen Dusk <Dusk@xxxxxxxxx>]

*heavy breathing and dark picture comes across television*

Damnit, I told you, WIDE ANGLE LENS!

*camera pans back to show face of Siberian Tiger*

That's better. Gotta keep the crew off that damn Koala's Jungle Juice...

Everyone, may I have your attention? It has recently been brought to my
notice, with the return of the Vampire Koala, that several other
denizens of the Woods Outback have gone missing and are presumed to have
been converted to Angel, Spike, or, most dreaded of all... Riley
'shippers in regards to the blonde Slayer. Death, as we know, would be a
much kinder fate. To that end, an all points bulletin has been placed
for at least the following individuals:
Kimber
Pat Kelly
Quindo Ma
(The above three are wanted in connection for "Human Layers," in which
the Slayer is paired with the Cheerleader - yes, it's been THAT long
since I had time to stop at Pink Rabbit)
Sasha Chase
If spotted, they are to be brought in for questioning. There are to be
NO incidents with WNLs or Hover Tanks unless the brainwashing has been
proven in a Woods Outback court first... or the Koala or Fruit Bat
authorize it.
That is all at this time.

*camera zooms in on nose again*

Damnit, knock it off you drunken bastards! What the... hey, get your
hands off that! Intervention is NOT for Riley Drones... can I get some
help h--

*camera shuts off*

Phoen Dusk
Tiger Beret of the Woods Outback Border Patrol