FIC: She Doesn't (1/1)

[Kimber <kacoe@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

TITLE: She Doesn't (1/1)

AUTHOR: Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxxxxxx)

DISCLAIMER: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant
Enemy.

RATING: High PG

SUMMARY: Intimacy between a Slayer and her Hacker.

SPOILERS: Zip.

DISTRIBUTION: Go ahead, you know you wanna. ;) Just let me know
where it'll be so I can visit.

AUTHOR NOTE: Real life sneaks into my fic again. You've seen it
before, you know what it means.



-----



She's amazing.



Beautiful.



Sweet.



Funny.



Kind.



Nice.



She's everything I've ever wanted, and everything I never knew I could
have.



"Hey you."



"Hey yourself." Willow looked up as I entered the room. She'd just
taken a shower and I could almost taste the strawberries and cream
body wash she loved so much. "Good slayage?" She questioned while
looking me over from top to bottom for any sign of bruising or bite
marks.



"All's quiet and no, I'm not in need of bandaging." I smile at her
when she looks up quickly with that 'Oops, caught!' look on her face.
She nods and turns to the closet. I watch her slip off her bathrobe
and she has nothing but a blue pair of underwear on. She stretches
and I can see her muscles play against her tender skin. She chooses
an oversized t-shirt, slips it on and turns back to me.



"Sleepie hacker." She says in a baby voice then pouts.



So adorable.



"Keep it up, Will, and you're gonna need glasses."



"Oh, great. Just what I need to complete my geek ensemble." She runs
her fingers through her hair and lets out a sigh.



That's my cue. I walk up to her, cross my arms and give her the once
over. "If this is what geeks are looking like these days, then color
me a groupie." She smiles and I envelope her in a hug. As I bury my
face in her neck and drink in her scent, I wonder,



"How'd I get so lucky?" She finishes my thought for me.



I smile, pull back and kiss her lips lightly. "Divine providence?
Other worldly intervention?" I shrug. "Doesn't matter. You're here,
I'm here and-" My thoughts are interrupted by a yawn.



She grabs my hand and pulls me gently to the bed: our bed. "Come on.
No one can save the world on less than eight hours of sleep."



We slip under the covers and I roll over to set the alarm. 'Another
fine day at the Double meat Palace for me,' I think to myself then
notice the time. "Will, it's only eleven and I don't have to be in
work till nine tomorrow morning."

She gets this look on her face, smiles and nods and I *know* I'm in
for another one of those Slayer strength tests, but only without the
snooty Watchers and vampires in cages. This one has to do with
endurance.



We kiss haltingly. It's been a long time since we were able to get
some quality time alone together and we're both so unsure of
ourselves. She touches my face, my neck, and my breasts with the most
tender of caresses and I sink more and more into her haunting gaze.
She gives nothing away when we're intimate like this. Her face is
fixed with calm concentration. I always thought Willow approached sex
like a chemistry exam. There's a little of this, a measure of that,
timing is everything. I see a small measure of love there too, and
caring. She lets her guard down sometimes and I can read her face and
actions all too well after so many years of being entwined in each
other's lives.



I've taken about all I can and I've been patient long enough. My hand
slips under the covers and across her taunt stomach. She lies there
without movement, without sound. My hand slips across the thin blue
fabric covering her and, yes, I can tell, I can feel what I do to her.
I tease her for a bit and she makes the slightest movements - telltale
signs that it's working, that she wants more. My hand reaches under
the fabric that bars me from her, bars my skin from touching hers and
she sighs contently.

I rub my fingers around the thin red hair she keeps neatly shaved. It
's soft yet coarse at the same time. I love that - love the feel of
her hair between my fingers. Love the fact that she's so attentive to
parts of herself that I don't get to see very often, but revel in. I
kiss her neck, her cheek, her lips and her forehead. I love her with
something in me I can't define, but writing a dictionary on my love
for this amazing redhead is furthest from my thoughts right now.



My finger slips between her folds and she stiffens against the pillows
a little bit more - bracing herself for what's to come. As I massage
her lips slowly, gently she matches my strokes with the smallest of
movements. She's grown thick with desire and I know she won't last
very long this time. I rub against her bud with my palm causing the
right amount of friction before inserting another finger to the folds
of her flesh. She's breathing heavy now and perspiration is forming
across her brow and on her nose. I know she's close - so incredibly
close.



My left arm snakes across the back of her neck and I nudge her left
arm to hold onto me. I know she'll never hold on for herself - even
if she wants to. I want her to know she's safe here - safe in the
arms of one that loves her so very much. She grabs onto me and buries
her head in the crease of my neck. My pace quickens just enough and I
hold onto her tightly, lovingly . . .desperately.



She lets out a low moan and hugs me tightly, grabbing my hand and
wrapping it around herself. "Okay, okay . . .I've got you." I whisper
reverently.



As I hold her, the thoughts push themselves to the surface again. She
's so vulnerable like this, giving me access to her body freely.
Allowing me in - even if it's only for a little while.



"You okay?" I whisper into her red mane. She nods and snuggles down
under the covers more. "Tired?" Another nod.



It's not too long before I hear the rhythmic breathing I've grown
accustomed to falling asleep to. She's asleep now and I'm spooning
her from behind. My left arm is under her pillow, my right one is
snug around her waist and our fingers are entwined.



>From the scant light that creeps in through the blinds, I can see the
outline of her face. The freckles scattered haphazardly, her
eyelashes pressed together, her lips slightly parted. It's moments
like these when I wish that time would stand still. When I'm this
close to her I feel like I'm split right down the middle - but in a
good way.



See, there's a part of me that can't nearly get close enough to her.
I feel like I have to have every inch of my body touching hers for
fear of her melting away. Then there's this other part that just
enjoys the calm and quiet and loves to watch her sleep. It's times
like this when I feel so at peace with everything. I can literally
feel this calm wash over me and I'm just so - still. And every bit of
that is what tells me that she's the one. She's the one I'd go to the
end of the line for, spend my last dollar on and quite possibly even
die for. I love her so much that sometimes it hurts physically and I
feel like my insides are drying up and turning to dust.



She shifts and opens her eyes slightly. "You okay?" I whisper. I
just *have to* make sure.



"Yeah."

I lean down close to her ear and inhale the scent that is deeply and
forever burned into my heart. The scent that is distinctly Willow.
"I love you."

"I know." Her eyes close and she's back to sleep as suddenly as she
woke up.



I know she knows but. . .she doesn't. Maybe she does but then again,
I know she doesn't. She doesn't love me. Is that okay? Not really,
but there's really not a lot I can do about it is there? She doesn't
and I do and. . . there's just not enough love in this world to go
around to everyone sometimes - you know? I keep on waiting for it all
to just - get clear. Like one day for her to have this cosmic thought
and for everything to fall into place and have everything suddenly
make sense. But it hasn't. And probably never will.



I love her.



And she doesn't . . .love me.



But she's here; she's not going anywhere and has told me that time and
time again. She's reassured me that this is exactly where she wants
to be - right now.



I breathe in her scent just one more time before I drift off to sleep
with thoughts of her.



She's amazing.



Beautiful.



Sweet.



Funny.



Kind.



Nice.



She's everything I've ever wanted, and everything I knew from the
start I could never really have completely.







FINIS