Re: Seduction of a Slayer ch.1 W/B NC17 SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

["blinviz" <debvii@xxxxxxxxx>]

--- In buffywantswillow@y..., "vampred5" <vampred5@y...> wrote:

> Summary: A sequel to Dear Cordelia. Willow, in her end of season 6 
> badness, has decided to make Buffy hers.

I don't know this story "Dear, Cordelia" so I'm a little lost, but this 
seems a promising start.


> The memory of the creedent who used her Buffy drifted 

Should this have been "miscreant"?

> " Willow, " she began, her voice calm. " We can talk about this. "

I'd recommend against those spaces between the text and the quotation 
marks. It makes it hard to follow the dialogue, esp. when they come 
near the end of a line and break off from the text that they surround. 


> She was shut up with a hard kiss from Willow.

Yes, very promising indeed.