Love, Pain, and Fear Ch. 2/?

["angel_fire1505" <sweet_n_slick2002@xxxxxxxxx>]

I'm sorry. I've had alot goin on in my life at the moment. Ch. 3 
and 4 to come soon. Revising them right now and brushing them up.  

Feedback....plz



Love, Pain, and Fear

By: Angel

Rating: NC-17

Coupling: Buffy/Willow and who knows what else

Disclaimer: Unfortunately Joss owns them but if I did..... these two 
would be together

Summary: Buffy reveals that she loves Willow, but thinks her 
feelings can't be returned. Giving up on life Buffy is turned by 
some nameless vamp that is killed with the ex-slayer's last bit of 
strength. Buffy decides to come back and apologize to Willow, but 
doesn't plan for Will to see what she has done to herself. Learning 
later that Willow does love her she actually regrets something in her 
life. A life-altering mistake that changes everybody.







Willow awoke to a loud crash from Buffy's room next door. Groggily, 
she sat up on her bed and swung her legs over the side. She wiped 
the sleep from eyes and tried to wipe the dried tears from her 
cheeks. She thought back to the night before and prayed that it was 
just a bad dream. Her thoughts were soon interrupted by another 
crash from Buffy's room.

She quickly jumped off her bed and ran out into the hall. 
Stopping just outside she froze. Was last night a dream?  
Cautiously, she inched the door open. The room was a mess. Broken 
figurines laid on the floor, clothes strewn across the room, a broken 
chair was in the corner. Moving farther into the room, Willow saw 
her. Her hands were pressed against the wall and she was shaking 
violently. Her knuckles turned white as she curled her fingers into 
tight fists. 

"B-Buffy? What's wrong?" Willow asked concern etched in her 
delicate features.  

A low growl came from Buffy as she continued to shake. "Get 
out." She said quietly.  

"Buff-"

"GET OUT!" Buffy growled swinging her head around to look at 
Willow. Her golden eyes glowed with so much anger it scared the 
witch.

"Will, get out now. Get out of the house. I haven't fed 
since being turned." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.  
She bit her lip making her teeth puncture the flesh. Desperately 
trying to stay in control she was able to add, "Willow I don't know 
how much longer I can hold it. Get Tara and Dawn out. NOW!"  
Another growl erupted from her and she threw a hand through the 
wall.  

Scared of what would happen if she didn't leave she ran back 
to her room and threw a pair of pants. Running down the stairs two 
at a time she glanced in the living room and saw that Tara had 
already left.

Reaching for the front door she heard a door upstairs open, 
and the soft, lulling voice of her best friend floated to her. "Oh 
Willow. Where are you?"

Willow's heart sped up and she ran out of the house. She 
thanked the heavens that the sun was out. At least Buffy wouldn't be 
able to eat yet, but that one little word scared her now...Yet.


Willow walked into the Magic Box, trying to calm her breath, 
and spotted Giles hovering by the bookshelves. He seemed to be 
stocking the new witchcraft folklore volumes that had just come in 
the night before.

"Giles." Willow called out walking towards the bent figure.  

"Giles can I ask you something?" 

"Ok." He replied not looking up.

"Thank you for shopping at the Magic Box. Please come back 
soon to buy more." Anya's voice rang from behind Willow.

Waiting until the patron had left, Willow curiously 
asked, "What happens if vampires don't feed?"

"Uhhh?." Willow watched as his body stiffened and he stood 
slowly.

"It's been told that if the fledgling's will is great enough 
they won't feed." Anya said walking slowly up from behind Willow.  
Sitting down in a chair and crossing her legs, she slowly 
continued, "The body usually goes into a state of shock, and the 
demon will go into withdrawal."

"Have you ever seen it happen Anya?" Willow asked curiously.

"Yeah but only once though, It doesn't happen often." The ex-
demon replied, picking up a book and handing it to Giles.

"Well what happened to them?" Willow asked again.

"Yeah I do. They're dead." Anya replied casually.

"What exactly do you mean?" Willow asked worried, sitting 
down in a chair across from her friend.

"Well the body remains, unlike when they're staked. You know 
how the soul leaves and a demon takes over the body, well if they 
don't feed the demon rips its way out of the dead body from 
insanity." Anya said using hand motions to prove her point. "It's 
not a pretty sight if you ask me." She continued, stacking books in 
a pile and handed them to Giles.

Willow felt useless just standing there watching the two 
workers stack books. She still had many unanswered questions, but 
one question in particular stuck out like a sore thumb. "Giles, has 
there ever been a turned slayer?" She asked staring at the ground.  
She hoped that the fear and worry she felt didn't show in voice.

"Uh?no not that I know of."

"Yes there has." Anya argued.

"In Nagarek's Diary. It said that his slayer was killed from 
the demon's insane-"

"How do you know of his diaries? All Watcher Diaries are off 
limits even to employees." Giles said agitated.

"Well what do you expect me to do in this God forsaken store 
at night?" Anya defended.

"Anything but reading private official documents. Clean up 
or something."

"Giles the store is always?"

"Hey back to my question. What do the diaries say?" Willow 
interrupted the workers feud.

"It just sa-"

"Anya those documents aren't meant for the public, and if 
you've read them then you are now under oath not repeat anything that 
you have read from them."

"But?"

"Anya please." Giles said taking his glasses off and cleaning 
them with the hem of his shirt.

"Willow, why all the questions about turned slayers and 
vampires?" Giles asked repositioning his glasses.

"Oh nothing really. With me helping Buffy with her patrols I 
just thought it best to be knowledgeable and all." 

"Okay."

"Thanks a lot you guys. I guess I'll talk to you later.  
Good luck with those books." Willow called out as she turned around 
and walked out of the door.

"Welcome to the Magic?." Anya's voice was heard as the door 
closed.


"Willow!" Tara called again.

"Oh Tara, hey."

"Were are you going?" Tara asked nervously.

"Ummm I need to run an errand real." Willow said apologetically.  

"Oh, I was hoping that we could go out to lunch today, and maybe? 
spend some time together. You know, just us." Tara said sheepishly 
looking towards the ground.

Willow's eyes sought out Tara's with a saddened expression and she 
reached out and made Tara look at her. "Baby I'd like that, but I 
really gotta do this. Please understand."

Tara moved in and gently kissed her Willow, but could feel her 
hesitation. Willow tentatively kissed her lover and pulled 
away. "I'll be home later. Take Dawn out shopping tonight and don't 
come by the house till later."

"Why?" Tara asked, hoping it wasn't what she thought.

"Well I can't really say?" Willow said. "I'm hoping you guys will 
like it though. I mean I don't really want to spoil anything for 
anyone, but I gotta go do this errand first so I can't really talk or 
else I may not have time to?" 

"Willow it's ok." Tara smiled at Willow's babbling. "I understand.  
It's a surprise and you don't have to explain."  

Willow smiled at Tara's smiling face. "Thanks hun. I'll see you 
tonight. Could you and Dawn stay out until about 8? Everything 
should be done by then."

"Yeah, she's at a friend's house right now so I'll pick her up later."

"Thanks." Willow smiled and kissed Tara lightly on her cheek.

Tara stared after her, worried about what was on her witch's mind.  
But I trust her, Tara thought. Even though I may be second in her 
heart.