Fic: Learning to live pt 2

["jend1205" <jend2002@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Author: Jen D
Disclaimer: I don't own just like it.
Rating: G-R and all points between mostly language and violence
Pairing: Willow/other - Willow/ Buffy eventually
Spoilers: Season 6 maybe others somewhere down the road
Summery: Giles brings someone in to help after everything happens in 
season 6. Sorry I suck at this part.
Author notes: I have never written anything before this, so please 
tell me what you think.  



Everyone was assembled at the Magic Box at 6:00, everyone 
was visibly nervous. No one but Giles seemed to be at ease with 
everything. He tried to calm the nerves of everyone the best he 
could. Not just for there own sake but also for Willows sake, she 
seemed to be retreating into herself and he had a feeling it was 
because she was attuned to the feelings of those around her. He was 
glad when she made the excuse of needing to go the bathroom; he 
needed to talk to the others alone for a moment and did not want to 
send her away. No that would have been too much for her to understand 
at this point. 

" Ok we have a few minutes while she is gone to talk",
Giles 
started. " We need to relax you are not making things easy for 
Willow or yourself by being nervous or anxious. As I asked Buffy 
today do you trust me"?    

" Oh Giles that is a no brainer there", Dawn said being
the first 
to reply. Everybody else just nodded their heads in response.

"Good than just relax and let things be, Sara is the best hope
we 
have and I expect it to be rough even for her, Willow went places 
only a few have been and will need our support, but I expect you all 
to respect Sara and her ways" , Giles said in his best father
knows 
best voice. Any thoughts of arguments went to the wayside when Willow 
appeared from the bathroom. 
Willow knew that they had been talking about her and she 
wondered for a moment what had been said while she was gone. She 
really didn't care much though because the room did seem to be
less 
tense. She caught herself almost relaxing a bit listening to everyone 
talk to each other, she got lost n her thoughts wondering what was 
going to happen to her. Giles had told her a little about this Sara 
women but not a lot. He said that she would have to be the one to 
tell me what she wanted me to know. That she had specially told him 
not to tell her anything about it. She wasn't sure if she should 
trust someone who didn't want her to know anything about
themselves 
but she trusted Giles. Besides she didn't deserve to have a lot
of 
say in things after everything she had done to everyone in this room. 
Yet they forgave her and were still willing to help her get strong 
again. She had to not just for herself but for everyone in this room. 
She loved them and they had been through so much because of her anger 
and need for revenge. She had killed 2 people and almost killed them 
all and not just her friends but also the world. She shuddered at the 
thought of it all. She had even tried to kill herself after all that. 
She had not told them about what had happened when she was lying in 
that bathroom that night, hell she was not even 
sure if it was real, why would they. She thought about that night she 
just couldn't take it anymore all the pain and hurt she was
feeling, Buffy was sleeping in the chair and Dawn was in her own 
room. She wound up in the bathroom and found the razor blade that she 
had kept hidden with the thought that eventually she would find the 
time to 
use it. She didn't even take the time for a goodbye letter, she 
figured they would know. She just wanted to end all the pain that was 
growing inside of her. She was afraid she was going to hurt someone 
again and she couldn't stand the thought of it. She cut her left
and 
then as best she could the right and cried for the first time since 
Xander had talked her down from destroying the world. She knew that 
dying this way she was doomed to hell and she would never get to see 
Tara again but she was pretty sure she was going to hell anyway. That 
was the last thought she was sure in her head she made because 
everything went dark after that, for just a moment than there was a 
bright light. She stood in the light and felt the warmth on her face; 
she seemed to relax for the first time since the shooting.

"Willow, sweetie what have you done", came the voice she
never 
thought she would hear again. 

"Tara"? She turned toward where she heard the voice. She
fell to 
her knees when she turned and there was Tara standing there. Tara was 
wearing a beautiful white linen dress and was glowing.

"Willow, hon. you can't give up yet, they need you to be
strong, I 
need you to be strong, and it is not your time yet". Tara walked
over 
and sat down next to the redhead and held her as tight as she could.

" Tara you have know idea of what I have done and how hard it
is 
to do what you are asking of me", Willow said through the tears.

" Sweetie, I do know what you have done and I forgive you and
so 
does everyone else but you have to forgive yourself".  

"How can I, your gone and I am alone".    

"But you aren't alone, your friends love you and will
always stand 
behind you and I will always be apart of you". "Willow, it
was my 
time to go, I didn't want to leave you and I miss you, all of you
but 
my place is here and I am happy. We will be with each other again, I 
promise but not yet, not for a long time". 

"Tara"?

" No, Willow let me finish, let them help you, they are going
to 
need you soon, I can't tell you when or why but they will need
you 
and you will need them. All I can tell you is that it is bad and you 
will know when the time comes. I will be there when it happens and 
will guide you through it but you have to go back. There's
someone 
you have to meet and she will teach you. You will have to trust me. 
Willow I love you and always will but there will be someone else and 
you have to open your mind to loving again. They will love you and 
take care of you but you have to let them in".  

" Tara I can never love someone like I love you, nope never
going 
to happen".   

"I never said you would love them like me, you never could but
you 
will be in love with them, I can't tell you how long you will be 
happy but you will be for awhile" Tara replied with a hint of
regret 
that it would not be her. 

"Tara who is it going to be", Willow asked not sure she
really 
wanted to know. 

"I don't know, baby, I would tell you if I knew but I 
don't". "Willow, it is time for you to go back now." 

" I don't want to leave you."  

" I know, honey, but it is time, I can't stay here
either."   

" I love you Tara and I miss you so much", Willow cried. 

" Me too, baby, but we will see each other again and you will
be 
happy, promise me one thing?"   

" Tara, anything you want."   

"When you go back I want you to ask Giles to get you some help,
he 
knows someone who can help you deal with what you are going through, 
it will take him time to get her but she will help. Good bye Willow 
be strong for me and them." With those final word the light
dimmed 
and she was back in the bathroom of the Summers house. She looked at 
her wrist and all she could see was a scratch that was already 
starting to fade. She stood up and made her why back to her room. 
Buffy was still asleep in her chair. She thought about what she was 
going to say to her. Did she tell her about what Tara had said; no 
she would just chalk it up to my craziness. I would just tell her to 
call Giles and have him get this person that would help. 
Giles had been glad to hear that she wanted help and knew whom to 
call. The magic was taking over her body and was still threating to 
take her mind but she wanted to go on. 
Willow was brought back from her thoughts by the firm hand placed 
on her shoulder. She turned and saw that it was Buffy. She saw a look 
of concern and love for her best friend. What did I do to deserve 
such love?

" Willow, it's time to go, are you ready for this", she
asked. I 
just stood there for a minute and then for the first time in a long 
time I smiled not a strained one for other people but a smile from 
the heart. I nodded, " lets go meet my savior" and turned
walked for 
the door. Buffy stunned for a minute looked at the rest of the 
Scoobies and saw a smile on their faces that she knew was the same 
one she had on her face.