FIC: When You Read This...

["xenarip13" <xenarip13@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title: When you read this..
Author: Bynx
Email: xenarip13@xxxxxxxxx
Status: Finished
Pairing: Obvious
Season: not sure
Spoilers: Could be?
Rating: R
Archive: don't see why, but okay
Disclaimer: The great one JOSS owns them not me and not profit will 
be made.
Warnings: This is pure fluff but I had to write it down just so it 
would leave me alone. LOL.


When You Read This 1/1


Willow,

When you read this, I'll have already left. When you read this, I'll 
be sitting somewhere else, but thinking of you and wondering how I 
could have left you. I don't want to leave you..here maybe, but 
NEVER you. When you read this, I hope you will forgive me, but I 
won't blame if you don't. When you read this, she'll probably be 
there with you and that's okay. I mean it. It is okay. I like 
her. When you read this, I hope you will believe me I say I am glad 
you are happy. When you read this, I will have left the only stable 
and good thing in my life behind. When you read this, I'll be crying 
as I leave you, but I cna't be here anymore not like this. When you 
read this, you'll finally know. When you read this, you'll hate me 
and I'll be relieved that I am not there to see it in your eyes. 
When you read this, you'll know I love you more than life, more than 
anything. When you read this, you'll know how desperately I wanted 
to be the one you looked at like a lover with all the love you have 
to give. When you read this, you'll know how much I envy her. When 
you read this, you'll know I wasn't 'freaked out', but heart broken I 
waited and hid too long. When you read this, I'll have packed, 
touched all your things on my way out, and run like only I can. When 
you read this, you'll know that your big protector from the baddies 
is really just a coward and you deserve so much better. When you 
read this, please believe how sorry I am and someday try to forgive 
me. You will always know even through my cowardice that I will 
always love you....When you read this.

Love Always, 
Buffy



Willow sits down, almost collapsing onto her bed. Tears slide down 
her cheeks, but she doesn't feel them. The letter falls from her 
hand to settle to the floor. Hands trembling, she runs them through 
her hair and absently wipes her eyes. She looks to the lone figure 
sitting on the other bed in the room head down to her chest.

"You.." Willow swallows, "You were just going to leave?"

"Yes, b-but I..I couldn't."

"Why didn't you?"

"I..." she stops.

"WHY?!" Willow raises her voice.

"I.. I left before and you..you made me pr-promise I would never do 
it again," she clears her throat, "I almost broke that promise I was 
on the b-bus and I..I couldn't break my promise to you..."

"You weren't going to come back this time were you?"

"No." Buffy shakes her head, "But I c-couldn't l-leave.."

"If I hadn't come back here early and found the note..you would never 
have given it to me..you weren't going to leave, but you were just 
going to lie? I never would have seen it would I?!?!" Willow stands.

Buffy flinches at her tone, "No, you would never have seen it and if 
you wnat to hate me I'll at least be here for you to have something 
to direct it at..."

"DAMN IT, BUFFY!" Willow starts pacing and waving her arms, "I dont' 
hate you..I could never hate you..NEVER! I..I just..How could you 
even think about just running on me?!"

In a panic, Buffy not able to face the pain in Willow's voice, stand 
and bolts for the door. Before she can open it, Willow is slamming 
her into it and holding her face to the door. Buffy could easily get 
away, but she would have to hurt Willow and she has done that enough 
already. Instead, she stands stock still, muscles tensed against the 
door, crying.

"I'm sorry Willow..so sorry..Please.."

"Sorry for what?! Almost leaving me again...breaking your 
promise..hiding something important from me..or..or l-loving me?!" 
Willow stutters as she screams.

"Oh God, Willow..I could n-never be sorry for loving you..I couldn't 
be sorry I l-love you even if it caused your..you to get hurt..even 
if you hate me for it.. I could never be sorry for that.." Buffy 
stammers out beginning to slide unable to stand anymore.

Willow follows Buffy down as she falls to her knees. Willow wraps her 
arms around the trembling slayer, "Buffy, I don't hate you..I never 
could..."

"Thank God.." Buffy sobs.

"I l-love you too much to hate you. It would have destroyed me if 
you would have left me. You can't ever leave me." Willow holds Buffy 
tight to her. 

"I..w-won't, Wills.." Buffy sobs out, "I c-can't."

"What would I have done if you had been able to?..I would have spent 
my life looking for you..don't you know that?" Willow babbles 
lightly.

"Willow, I..I'm sorry..I love you so much..I.." Buffy slowly looks up 
into green eys filled with tears, "I m-made you cry..I.." 

Buffy can't finish as Willow captures her lips in a ferociously 
passionate kiss. Without hesitation, Buffy wraps her arms tightly 
around Willow. Willow demands entrance into the slayer's warm, sweet 
mouth, which is eagerly given. Their tongues taste in greeting 
playing over each other wrestling for dominance. Buffy's hands move 
up into the redhead's hair holding their kiss together. Willow's 
hands move to the buttons on Buffy's shirt. NOt being able to make 
her hands ondo the tiny offending items , she grabs and rips the 
shirt open exposing bare breasts. Buffy moans into the kiss as 
Willow's fingers lightly run over the slayer's pert nipples. Buffy 
quickly grabs hold of Willow's t shirt and rends it in two pieces. 
Willow gasps out breaking the kiss at Buffy's display of strength. 
They each look into each other's eyes panting for air and realizing 
exactly what is happening.

"Goddess, Buffy..." Willow breathes out.

"I'm sorry..Tara..I.." Willow places her fingers on Buffy's lips to 
stop her and they both realize how the other is trembling.

"Do you want to know why I came home early today?" Willow whispers. 
Buffy nods against her finger tips, "I told Tara that as much as I 
like her that I..I c-could never give her what she d-deserved because 
I could only give that to someone else..she already knew Buffy..it's 
you." New tears slide down the slayer's already stained cheeks, "So, 
you see why..if you had left..I.."

This time Buffy stops Willow from speaking by kissing her long, deep 
and lovingly, "I..um..Wills, I please.." Buffy runs her fingers down 
the valley of Willow's breasts tryiing to let her body say what her 
mouth can't.

"Yes," Willow whispers taking Buffy's hand and placing it on her 
breast. 

Buffy groans at the exquisite softness that is Willow. How long has 
she wanted to touch her this way? How long has she run from the 
truth? If she had known she never would have. Buffy removes her 
hand and standing quickly scoops Willow into her arms carrying her 
toward her bed. She lays Willow down and strips off her Wiccans 
clothes. She starts to rip at the rest of hers until she sees Willow 
shake her head. Willow moves to her knees and begins to undress 
Buffy slowly. She drops the ruined shirt to the floor kissing The 
slayer's shoulders, tonguing the hollow of her throat, and sucking 
slowly each erect nipple. Next she undoes the loose jeans Buffy is 
wearing and watches as they slide to the floor revealing a naked 
Slayer. She delights in the small blondish patch of hair left above 
Buffy's slit almost as if pointing the way to heaven. She trails her 
tongue down the valley between the slayer's breast around a tightly 
muscled navel planting light feather kisses over hip bones. She 
feels the slayer shiver and quake under her lips. 

"Willow, I can't..have to sit down..." Buffy gasps out as she sways 
on liquified knees.

Willow pulls the other girl to the bed holding her close. How long 
has she dreamed of this moment? How long has she wanted these arms 
around her? Too long and now they are here. 

"Buffy, I love you." she whispers hotly into the slayer's ear while 
biting on it.

" I love you, Willow." Buffy trails her hands up the redhead's thigh 
over a hip bone to cup a small yet firm breast, "You're so beautiful, 
Wills..so beautiful.."

"I..uh.." Willow blushes thoughout her entire body.

Buffy captures her love's lips in an heart stopping kiss as they both 
roam the other's bodies. Two bodies tangle in love's battle of 
flesh, sweat shiny bodies moving into each other and away in a primal 
rythm. Names and promises of love exchanged in passion, give way to 
the sounds of bodies uniting in climax. As they lay trying to catch 
their breath, their hands still quietly, lovingly memorize curves and 
touches. They smile into each other's eyes as they kiss lightly. 

"Willow, that was..never before..I.."

"I thought I was the babble queen.." Willow chuckles holding Buffy 
tight.

"You were amazing..the things I felt..Never before.."

"It's about love Buffy, that's the difference..It's our love.." 
Willow blushes.

Buffy kisses Willow longingly pulling her impossibly tighter, "I'm 
sorry, Willow about..today..the letter.."

"Ssshhh..I know, but we 're here..you're here..and everything else 
can be forgotten for now..just love me.." 

"Always, Wills..I'll never stop." 

They snuggle into each other for warmth, for need, for love. 
Someday, when life has finally cut the slayer and her witch a break, 
they will sit with Buffy's letter and remember how love came out from 
hiding..When You Read This.

FIN

Sorry about the fluff, but it wouldn't go away so there it is in all 
it's mushiness. Bynx.