[no subject]

["Jennifer DuBoe" <jend2002@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Author: Jen D
Disclaimer: I don?t own just like it.
Rating: G-R and all points between mostly language and violence
Pairing: Willow/ Buffy
Spoilers: I guess all of the shows this is A/U but some of it might come up.
Summery: A/U A different first season, different Willow.
Author notes: I am still working on Learning to live. Let me know if you 
think.



?Angel, get your dead ass down here?, Willow yelled slamming through the 
door of Angel?s kitchen.
?Are you trying to wake the dead?, Angel growled.
?It worked didn?t it?, Willow laughed.
?Ha ha, very funny. So why the yelling??
?Angel, what the hell am I gonna do. I can?t believe this. I mean who would 
have thought that someone could want me like that.?
?Ok maybe you ought to back up for a minute and start over, because none of 
this is making any sense to me.?
?Buffy asked me to meet her in the library tonight, when I got there she had 
candles out and music. Angel, she told me that she likes me and I don?t mean 
in a friendly way. She told me that she wanted to protect me and be there 
for me. Now you and I know that I don?t need to be protected but it?s still 
sweet, don?t you think? I just don?t know.?
?Still not seeing a problem here, Will.?
Willow slapped her forehead, ?What do mean not seeing a problem, have you 
lost your fucking mind. You act like such a goddamn man. I can?t get into a 
relationship, I would be nuts. I wouldn?t have a clue how to be someone?s 
girlfriend; hell I?m not even a very good friend. Xander won?t even look at 
me anymore.?
?Well if you haven?t noticed I am a ?god damn? man. Will, what are you 
afraid of. You can?t run away from everyone, sometime you are going to have 
to let someone in.?
?Yeah like that has ever worked for me. I tried that once and look how that 
turned out?, Willow sighed.
?You can?t judge things on one bad experience. Buffy is not Angie, I don?t 
think Buffy is going to get you arrested.?
?I know that dead boy but I still loved her and I let her in. I just know 
that I can?t do that again. It hurt to much when it ended.?
?Willow, I can?t tell you what to do, only you know what you want?, Angel 
told her.
?That?s just it don?t know what I want. I like her, my god have you looked 
at her, she is hotter than hell and she wants me. Me, Willow Rosenberg, drug 
using, cigarette smoking, troublemaking, school loser. I have so many issues 
that I?m sure my picture is in the dictionary beside the word dysfunctional. 
Relationships are a big no no, just call me fuck them and leave them Willow. 
But damn Angel all she has to do is look at me and my legs turn to jello?, 
Willow groaned and beat her head on the table.
?You know if I thought that beating your head would knock some sense into 
you I would have tried it sooner?, Angel chuckled.
?I?m not liking this new make fun of Willow sense of humor you have 
developed lately?, Willow growled at her friend. Angel broke into a fit of 
laughter and Willow decided that seeing a big old master vampire crying from 
laughing, a bit disconcerting.
?Well thanks, you have been absolutely no friggin help what so ever. I?m 
going to go kick some ass and see if that helps. Good night?, Willow got up 
and left. Angel sat at the table for a minute and tried to regain his 
composure and chuckled, ?Kids?.


Willow walked not really paying attention to where she was going until she 
looked up and realized she was standing in front of Buffy?s house. She sat 
down on the curb and watched the house; she could see a light on upstairs 
and could see someone moving around. ?Now what the hell do I do?, Willow 
said out loud.
?Well I think talking to her and not yourself would be a good place to 
start?. She has been so caught up watching the movement upstairs that she 
didn?t see Joyce come out the front door and sit down beside her.
?Oh hey Miss Summers. I would but I have no idea what I would say to her.?
?Do you care about her??
Willow sighed, ?Yeah, I do.?
?Buffy has told me a little about you and I have to say that I have some 
concerns about her and Xander being around you much less involved with you.?
?I can understand that, I wouldn?t want them around me if I was you either. 
I um guess I should go then. I?m thinking that maybe I ought to head out of 
town for awhile?, Willow said and started to get up but Joyce stopped her 
before she could.
?Willow I?m not telling you to go. I said I had concerns but I trust Buffy 
and if she trusts you and cares about you then there must be something 
there. Why do you let them do it??
Willow wiped the tears from her eyes, ?I don?t know, at first it was because 
I didn?t know any better and now I guess it?s just easier. No one ever 
believes me anyway.?
?I believe you. Willow, no one has the right to hit you. I?ll help you if 
you want?, Joyce told the young red head.
?Why??
?Because my daughters in love with you. Do you love her??
?I think I could but I?m not sure if I want to look that deep in my heart 
right now. I don?t want to hurt her. She is a very beautiful, caring person 
and she deserves better than me.?
Joyce looked at the small girl beside her, sadness feeling her eyes at 
seeing the fading bruises, ?Don?t you think that you should let her decide 
what she deserves.?
?Maybe but what if she can?t handle it, hell what if I can?t handle it?.
?You?ll never know if you don?t try?, Joyce said.
?I don?t know but I think I need to talk to her. Would that be ok?? Joyce 
nodded her head and Willow followed her into the house. Willow walked up the 
stairs and knocked on the door. Buffy opened the door and stood there with 
her mouth hanging open.
?Hey can we talk?, Willow asked.
Buffy nodded her head, ?Come in?.
?Buffy, I?



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