Re: FF: Revelations 1/?

[danspector@xxxxxxxxx]

Jolie,

So this is what you've been saving up, huh? Looks cool so far. Like
the idea of FutureBuffy saving Buffy from her mistake (but since Angel
didn't come back from Hell and kill Willow in canon, was FutureBuffy
fibbing so she could get some, or is there something else at play here?
Guess I'll find out.) and also dug Buffy's pushing Willow away, and how
she couldn't go on without her. Your characterization of Joyce was very
good, too.

Three criticisms (1 story, 1 style, 1 sort of both):

1. I'm a little disturbed that 5 years have passed and Buffy doesn't
seem to have investigated how her future self was able to travel through
time, and everything. A properly Slayerific Buffy would, IMO, devote
more attention to things like this.

2. I absolutely love all the details on how Buffy failed to cope with
Willow's absence (talking to Angel, crying to Angel, calling to hear
Will's voice and hanging up), but I think we don't need to hear them
twice in quick succession, with first Joyce telling Willow and then Will
telling Buffy what Joyce told her. I think the description could have
been trimmed in one place or the other.

3. I recognize that this is an AU (and what a nice one! Joyce lives!
No Dawn! No ChippedSpike!), but I thought the events after Buffy
decided not to run away happened a little quickly--Giles already has
Buffy back in school, Oz and Willow have already broken up, and that
whole thing with Buffy being sought for Kendra's murder seems to have
gone away, all in one day. Just a technical note.

All those are relatively small potatoes, though. This looks to be a lot
of fun and I'm off to read more!

Thanks,

Dan