[no subject]

[Kimber <kacoe@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

TITLE: Book Five: The Roads Series - These Roads We Travel (3/?)

AUTHOR: Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxxxxxx)

DISCLAIMER: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant
Enemy. Grrr, argh.

SPOILERS: Everything is fair game.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: The more feedback I get the more I'll post..nuff
said. flashbacks are enclosed in { }

-----------



"Jesse!" Willow scolded. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you
were taking procrastination lessons from-"



"Okay, okay. Look, Willow, it's a bit more complicated than asking
'am I or aren't I?'. I mean, there are a lot of ways to define
'dead'."



-------



"Papa! Just spit it out already!" Laurel was sitting on the couch in
Giles' apartment. She and Faith had stopped by to tell him about
Buffy's change of heart and he surprised them with some news of his
own.

"Come on, G-man." Faith was pacing in front of the couch.



"Faith, has it ever struck you as, um, curious that you're my age when
you came to Sunnydale and you still insist on calling me, ah, G-man?"



"That's just who you are, G. And I wouldn't be me if I didn't call
you that." She winked at him. "Now quit stalling and tell us what
you found out about the spell Red did."

Giles smiled at Faith's sentiment and cleared his throat. "Yes, well.
There are a lot of ways to define dead. It's fascinating really.
Some people can refer to themselves as dead meaning, inside, void of
emotion. Others such as vampires are referred to as 'undead' meaning
they're dead but their bodies are still animated."



"Mom's not a vampire. Is she?" Laurel reached out for Faith's hand.



Faith sat down on the couch next to her. "Quit scaring the kid,
Giles. Get to the part about Red already."



"Yes, well. The spell that Willow attempted seems to have been, um,
successful to a degree."



"What kind of spell was she trying to do?" Laurel asked.



Faith looked up at Giles and gave him a look of warning, then turned
to Laurel. "It's not important right now. What's important is
getting everything out of Giles." She turned her attention back to
him. "Which is like pulling teeth sometimes."



"Yes, well." Giles reached for his cane and got out of his chair. He
walked over to the bookshelf. "This brings us to volume seven of the
Garzian texts. Faith, if you remember correctly, this is the volume
that Xander, uh, liberated from my collection before he took his
station."

"Yeah, I remember."



"So I was looking though the translation of the spell and it seems to
me that she got it right to a point. She was researching the
biological and magical ramifications of being Immortal. She was
attempting to find out how it was that her cells and Buffy's stopped
replicating. To do this, she had to focus a lot of magickal energy
into herself. This could have adversely affected the cells and begun
the reversing process of immortality."

"Wait. She can die? Like anyone else?" Laurel was confused. "It
can't be. The Powers That Be gave them immortality."

Giles tried to explain it to her. "Laurel. You have to understand. .
."



"No, Papa. Did she lie? Cause you know mom and Faith were on patrol
last week and this wicked fang gang came outta no where and mom got
hurt real bad and she was bleeding and everything but she said she was
okay cause she was immortal and that nothing could kill her and. . ."

"Laurel, breathe." Faith placed her hand on Laurel's shoulder. "I'll
be damned if I you didn't just channel your mother."

Laurel smiled. "Thanks." She turned to Giles. "Papa. . ."

"Yes, well. Willow, as I said, was researching the cause of the
immortality in she and Buffy. She could have possibly focused
entirely too much magick on the task of replicating cells again. When
she was immortal, the cells never died, therefore none of them were
able to replicate. Buffy and Willow have both been immortal for
almost twenty years now. The sudden biological change back to
replicating was too much and she just. . .blew up into millions of
pieces." He paused a moment so they could digest the information.
"That's not to say that she's dead. It could simply mean that she's,
um, in pieces and hasn't figured out a way to bring herself together
again."



"But, Papa, that still doesn't explain why she was doing the spell in
the first place."



"She was trying to recreate the conditions under which she and Buffy
became immortal, Laurel."

"Giles!" Faith interrupted. She looked at her watch. "I think we'd
better get back or you're mom's gonna have the whole town looking for
us, kid. We'll finish this another time."

Laurel shook her head. "No. Why won't you tell me? What's the big
secret, Faith? What was mom trying to do?"



Giles sat down next to her and took her hand. "Laurel, I can't and
neither can Faith. This is simply something your mother must explain
to you. It's not our place. As if she weren't furious enough with me
for helping Willow with the spell, I simply couldn't jeopardize her
being angry at me for something else. I hope you can understand."



Laurel was about to protest, but she knew he was right. She'd been
talking to Buffy for six months about forgiving Giles. While she
still refused to do it, she'd finally gotten Buffy to agree on being
in the same room with him and she wasn't about to let all her hard
work go to waste. "Alright, Papa. I understand." She hugged him.
"I don't like it, but I understand."



-------



"So define dead, oh wise one." Willow smirked at him.



"Hey, don't get all snippy with me young lady. I'm only trying to
help. You brought me here after all." Jesse feigned a pout.



"How did I bring you here? And where is here exactly? And you still
haven't answered my dead question. I swear, I thought Angel was the
king of cryptic." Willow shook her head.



"Tell me about your daughter, Will."

"Jesse, no changing subjects!"

"Trust me, I'm asking for a reason." He smiled.



"Well, okay." They started walking again and Willow began to smile.
"Laurel. Laurel is probably the best thing that's ever happened to
me. Well, besides Buffy of course. She's just. . .I don't know how
to explain it. She's the best of Buffy and I wrapped up in a whole
other person. She's athletic and willful the way Buffy is, she has a
knack for computers and school work the way I do. She's my height and
she has my red hair and deep green eyes, but her personality is almost
all Buffy through and through. She babbles when she gets upset or
nervous and if she's mad you'd better watch out. . ." Willow giggled.
"She definitely has Buffy's temper."



"How else is she like Buffy?"



"She's fiercely overprotective with anyone she cares about. Any time
Buffy disagreed with Giles over something or said something that
Laurel thought was an insult, she'd jump to his defense. It took us a
long time to explain to her that that's just the way Buffy's and
Giles' relationship works. He tells her what to do, she disagrees,
and they argue." She shrugged. "It's tough when Buffy and Laurel
disagree on something though. Those two are so pig headed sometimes."

"Well, if I remember correctly, you have quite a stubborn streak
yourself, Will."



She couldn't disagree. "Yeah, I do. Especially when it comes to the
people I love. I'd even risk my-" She stopped in her tracks and
looked at him in shock. She was beginning to remember. Everything
came rushing back at once and thousands of images flashed in her mind.





{{{"Giles, it can't be! I won't let it happen. Ever!"

"Willow, I'm sorry but all signs point to it being the case. I wish
there were something I could do."

"There has to be something!" Willow slammed the book closed on the
desk, which caused Faith to wake up from her nap on the couch.

"What's up, Red?" Faith sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.



"Tell him it's not possible." She pointed to Giles. "These books and
prophesies and vampires and demons. I can't take it anymore, and I'll
be damned if *my* daughter is going to be forced into it the way you
and Buffy were."



"Giles, what's got her all worked up in a lather?" Faith got off the
couch and stretched. "What's the evil of the week and when do we kill
it?"



"I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that, Faith. There's a
prophesy I've been researching for some time. It tells of the coming
of the final Chosen One, the last Slayer. She is to give her life in
the final battle of good versus evil."



"Cool. So when does she arrive and how do we help?"



"Faith." Willow's voice was thick with emotion.



Faith put two and two together and finally caught on. "No. No way."
She shook her head and walked up to Giles. "Not the kid. There's no
way in hell I'll allow that. Patrolling with us is one thing, she has
a choice, but. . ."

"It doesn't seem as though any of us has a choice." Giles took his
glasses off and walked over to the phone. "I'll call the Council and
find out where the current Slayer is located. If I remember
correctly, we sent her to Europe to dispatch of an unruly group of
fire demons who were taking pleasure in torching the local shrubbery."



"If I loose her, I don't know. . ." Willow stopped herself.
Following that thought could only cause heartache.

"Hey, no talk like that, Red. We'll find a way to stop it."}}}





Willow blinked back the tears that were falling silently down her
cheeks and all Jesse could do is look on and let it happen; let her
remember every detail. She felt the terror and the panic of finding
out her daughter was going to be the next Slayer all over again as if
it were the first time. She closed her eyes and tried to calm
herself, but more memories began to flood her mind.





{{{"Willow, you must listen to reason."

"No, Giles. I have to do this. I found the spell and the meditation
in the Garzian text Xander took. It's not that hard really. All I
have to do is focus my magic inward and figure out what makes me
immortal. I know my cells stopped replicating, you know, cause they
don't die anymore, I just need to find the cause. No big."


"I don't think you realize the possible consequences of this. I
insist on researching it more before you put your life in danger.
Buffy would never forgive me if-"



"Buffy's not going to find out, Giles." Willow stated as a very
matter of fact. "Ever, if I can help it. Is that understood?"



"Willow, I beg you to reconsider. The task you are undertaking is-"



"It's to save my daughter's life, Giles, and Buffy's. If there's any
way I can stop this, well, I'll use my last breath to do it if I have
to."



"Willow, please tell me you haven't already attempted the meditation."
>From the look on her face, Giles knew she had. He was at his wits
end. There wasn't anything he could say to change her mind. The only
thing left now was to work with her and make sure she didn't get hurt
or worse. "Alright, fine, if you insist on doing this then at least
allow me to assist you."

She thought for a moment then nodded her head in agreement.



***a few weeks later***



"Buffy, is Willow there?" Giles had made plans with Willow to do more
research on the spell. They agreed to meet at his house while Buffy
and Faith were on patrol and Laurel was off with some friends. That
was over two hours ago.



"No, she hasn't been around all afternoon. I thought she was with
you?"



Giles rubbed his temples. "Oh, dear."



"I really hate it when you say that, Giles. It only means trouble.
What's going on?"



"Well, I ah, made plans with her to go over, some um, information and.
. ."

"Giles! Just. . .stop stalling and tell me what's going on."



Xander appeared out of no where. "Giles. . .trouble. . .Willow.
Breaker's woods!"



"Xander!" He had to grab onto the table because the sudden flash of
light startled him.

"No time, G-man. Let's go."

Giles returned to the conversation with Buffy. "Buffy. . ."

"I heard. I'm on my way. You two *so* have some explaining to do."
Buffy hung up the phone.



"Yes, alright." The watcher sighed and hung up the phone. He grabbed
his keys from the table and turned to Xander.



Xander shook his head. "Nope, sorry Giles. No time to drive. We're
taking my transportation system." He grabbed Giles around the waist
and gave him a goofy grin. "Trust me, I don't like this any more than
you do, but it's the only way to get you there in one piece. Hang
on." He put his head back and they disappeared in a flash of white
light.



***Breakers Woods***



Xander and Giles reappeared in a clearing. "Where is she?" Giles
said, looking around.



"Over there." Xander pointed to another clearing about fifty feet
away. There was a warm light breaking through the trees. "Damn. I
must have overshot."

----------



Willow Rosenberg was on a journey. A journey unlike any she'd ever
been on before. She was deep in meditation and focusing all of her
energy on the biological system that made her breathe, made her blood
flow, her hair get longer and more importantly, the cells that gave
her life. The cells that stopped replicating when she and Buffy were
struck by the bolt of lightening in England and rendered them
immortal. She was determined to find out how it worked, why and if
she could do the process herself to save her daughter's life.



Willow reasoned that if Laurel could become Immortal, then she'd never
be called as a Slayer. She knew enough about her immortality and the
Powers That Be to know that they would never allow two Immortal
Slayer's to exist. Time was running out and the research sessions
with Giles only reinforced her theory. They found out that at any
given time, there are only a certain number of immortals walking the
earth and the balance was in direct correlation with the amount of
evil that existed. An immortal Slayer would throw off the balance and
therefore, Laurel would be passed up and the next Slayer would be
called.



Willow looked around with her mind's eye. This was almost familiar
territory. The last time she attempted something like this, it was
when she and Buffy had to fight the demon King Arthur. The only
difference was that now she was taking a trip into her body, not her
mind.



She could see the intricate network of her veins and hear the blood
pumping through them. <Not close enough.> She thought. <Need to get
smaller.> She focused and after a few moments she was down to the
cellular level. She looked around and immediately noticed that they
didn't look like anything she'd ever seen under a microscope.



Each cell had a yellow/gold protective film on it. It was almost as
if they were sprayed with glow in the dark paint. Their movement was
graceful and fluid, but she also noticed that they followed a traffic
pattern. No new cells broke into the line and none of the existing
cells faded away. It was just as she'd suspected, they stopped
generating.



Her idea was simple. Get close enough to them to find out what the
yellow/gold film was made out of. If she could do that, then there
had to be a way for her to do the process on Laurel herself. She
began to concentrate again and slowly moved closer and closer to the
cells. The answer she was looking for was just within her reach. All
she had to do was reverse the process of immortality and then be there
to cause them to take on the film again.



She'd done enough research to know that it would take a lot of
concentrated magick along with the potion she made and drank before
she started meditating. There was only a small window of opportunity
to do this and get it right, she just hoped that it would work. This
would be her one and only chance.



Something was wrong, horribly wrong. The cells weren't going back to
immortal fast enough. It was taking too much time and Willow knew
that if she stayed too long she may never make it back. That just
wouldn't do. She had to make it back for Laurel, and for Buffy. She
concentrated even harder and the cells began to take on the
yellow/gold color again, only it was as if someone pushed the fast
forward button on her internal VCR. It was going so fast that she
lost control and instead of retaining the color, the cells went beyond
the yellow into a bright blinding white and suddenly there was a flash
as every cell in her body exploded outward like shards of glass when a
bullet goes through a windowpane. Willow's world went black.}}}



----------



"Laurel, look out!" Faith yelled.



The girl looked up just in time to see a vampire headed right for her.
She ducked and tripped him, sending him flying into the mausoleum
wall. He got his balance quickly and charged her again.



"You dead guys sure don't know when to quit." She pulled a stake out
of her jacket and hit him with a right hook. He was stunned
momentarily and she grabbed him by his shirt. "Someone needs to teach
you that dead," She pulled the stake back and rammed it though his
chest, "Means dead." He dissolved into dust.



She sauntered over to where Faith was sitting in the grass. "Two for
two." She put her hand down to help her up. "I'd say I'm on a roll.
Wouldn't you?"



Faith glared at her. "Don't get all cocky on me, kid. I'm a little
off my game tonight."

"A little? You're getting sloppy in your old age, *auntie* Faith."

"Go ahead little girl, gloat now. We'll see who's sore in the morning
now won't we?"



Laurel smiled at her but didn't answer. The truth was, she hadn't
been sore after patrol in a long time. Maybe even for the past year.
She just kind of got into a groove where slaying was concerned and she
didn't question it, or the other two Slayers. Since her mother's
death, she'd been testing her limits and found out that not only could
she keep up with Faith and Buffy, but she could excel far beyond what
they were capable of. She silently figured out that she, being the
daughter of two immortals and one being a Slayer, had attained Slayer
powers herself.



-------------



The two of them walked into the house and Faith called out for Buffy.
"Yo, B! You around?"



Buffy emerged from the kitchen with a tray full of food for the two of
them. "'Yo, B?'" Buffy shook her head and set the tray on the coffee
table. "One would think you've reverted back to your teen years,
Faith."

She flopped down on the couch and took a giant bite of the sandwich
she'd just picked up. "And who's to say I ever left 'em?"



"So how'd it go tonight?" Buffy directed her question to Laurel.



"Not bad. It was kinda slow, actually. You think something might be
brewin?" She quirked her eyebrow up and took a healthy bite of the
sandwich.



"No, I don't think so." Faith answered. "Just to double check, I'll
stop by G's tomorrow."



"Laurel, why don't you head upstairs and get ready for bed. I'll be
up in a few."

She was about to protest, but Buffy's expression told her to just do
as she was told. "Um, okay." She bound up the stairs, leaving Faith
and Buffy alone.



Buffy turned to her when she heard the shower go on. "So how'd it
*really* go tonight."

Faith rolled her eyes. "We didn't stop by Giles' if that's what you
mean. We patrolled for two hours before we saw any real action. Two
fangs in a row and we were on our way home."



"How much action did Laurel see?" Buffy went though this every time
Laurel and Faith went on patrol. They'd formed a very strong bond
right from the day she was born, it was if they were sisters, and
Buffy had to play mother to both of them. She waited a few moments
then tried again. "Faith. . "

"Both. She got both. No problem. She was great, Buffy. And no, she
didn't give me attitude. Seems like you're the only one she gives it
to." Faith sat back and looked at Buffy. Really looked at her.
"Have you even slept more than two hours at a time in the past six
months, B? Keep this up and. . ."


"And what?" She rose to her feet and glared at the Dark Slayer.
"I'll die? Cause you know, that sounds like a really good prospect
right now, *F*." She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to
keep some kind of composure. "What's the use anymore. . .I mean
really? Will's gone, Xander's off doing his job more than half the
year, I'm not even speaking to Giles and I don't know if I ever will
and Laurel. . .Laurel tells you more than she tells me. She confides
in you and trusts you and looks to you for advice. And when Will was
here, she. . .she was the one that put the band-aids on the bruises
and chased the monsters out from under the bed. What good am I
anymore?"

Faith rose and looked her in the eye, angrily. "You're no good to
anyone, Buff, not like this. Not fallin apart at the seams and
lookin' like you're gonna collapse any minute! What the hell happened
to 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'? Where is she cause I'll tell ya
somethin', B, she sure ain't standing here."

"You don't know! You don't understand how. . ."

"No I don't understand. No one does. Since Red. . .since Willow's
been gone you're just closed up to everyone, especially your daughter.
She told me. . .told me she walked in on you and Xander talking. She
said she was happy that you could open up, even if you were
badmouthing her grandfather and. . ."

Buffy's anger flared. "He's *not* her grandfather." She turned
around. "He's not anything to anyone." She bit out.



Faith turned her around forcibly and held onto her arms. "He's all
you ever had. . .all any of us ever had, B, and you know it! God,
you're pathetic." She let Buffy go and shook her head. "That's not
even what this is about. Is it?"

Buffy wiped hot tears away from her eyes. "Then tell me, oh wise one,
what exactly is this all about?"



"It's all about you. . .as usual. Willow's gone. She's not here to
pick up your pieces anymore or hold this family together. She's gone,
B, and you can't see straight. I'll tell you something, you either
get your act in gear or you're gonna loose that kid," She pointed to
the stairs. "She's gonna turn on you so fast your head will spin."



"How the hell would you know?"



"I'll tell you." Faith said evenly. "Cause I was there. My father
died when I was eight and my mother slowly got sucked into herself day
by day and month by month. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she
couldn't function after a while and *I* had to take care of her. She
lost him and it was like. . .like she fell into this deep dark pit
that not even I could pull her out of." Faith paused, trying to
collect her thoughts. She didn't expect for all of this to come
rushing out. . .especially now. But she was too far gone to stop it,
or to even care. "She resented me, said she hated me, hated my face
'cause it reminded her of him. Do you have any idea what that's like?
To have your mother tell you to get out because she couldn't stand to
look at you anymore? I was eleven years old, B, eleven." Faith wiped
her own tears away and took a deep breath. "You gotta come to peace
with this, Buffy. If not for yourself, then for you daughter." She
stepped closer to Buffy, who still looked at her defiantly. "Say it."

"Say what?" Suddenly, it dawned on Buffy what Faith was trying to do.
"No. I won't. I won't ever say it."

Faith grabbed her arms. "Say it, B. Willow's dead. She's not coming
back. Say it!" Each word was punctuated by a slight shake.
"Willow's dead. She's not coming back!"

Buffy broke from her grip and struck her square in the jaw with all
her strength. "No!"

Faith grinned at her menacingly. "That all you got, Slayer? I know a
fungus demon that punches better than *that*." She slugged her back
with as much, if not more, force. "Willow's not coming back, B. Face
it!"



Buffy snapped. She started wildly throwing punches at Faith's face,
"No! I won't say it! I won't! She's not dead, she's not!" She
tried to land a roundhouse kick but misjudged and broke the coffee
table in half as her foot came back around. This only angered her
more and she stepped up the pace of her attack. Every punch she
threw, Faith countered it and sucker punched her, taunting her,
forcing her to bring it on even more. "Willow's not gone. . .she's
not. . .Willow's not gone, Willow's not gone. . .Willow's. . .oh,
God." She collapsed against Faith and began to sob uncontrollably.
"She's gone, Faith. . .Oh, Will. . ."

The Dark Slayer caught Buffy easily and slid them both to the ground
safely, kicking the remnants of the coffee table out of the way. She
held onto her tightly, stroking her blonde hair soothingly. The tears
continued to stream down her own face, silently. "I know, B. I
know."



When Laurel was satisfied that everything was alright down in the
living room, well, everything except for the poor coffee table. . .she
silently crept to her room and closed the door. The last thought she
had before she drifted off to sleep was that maybe, just maybe, Buffy
had a chance at healing finally.



--------



"You alright now?" Faith whispered. They were still on the floor of
the living room and she couldn't even begin to imagine how long they'd
been there. Both she and Buffy had thoroughly cried their eyes out,
and hadn't said a word since.



"Yeah." Buffy responded. Her voice was hoarse from crying and her
eyes bloodshot. She looked up at Faith and gave her a little squeeze.
"I never knew. . .about your parents." Faith merely nodded. "I'm
sorry."

"You didn't do anything to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault." She
whispered.



"It wasn't yours either." She shifted slightly so that she was able
to see Faith's reaction. "You know that. Right?"



Faith closed her eyes and sighed. "I know. Now I know, but then,"
She shrugged. "Back then was a whole different story."



Buffy understood. She'd been turning everything around and around in
her brain since they'd been sitting there. What Faith revealed about
her parents explained a lot of her behavior and her bad ass attitude
when she first got to Sunnydale. She saw the same attitude in Laurel
occasionally and it frightened her. It frightened her not that Laurel
could be like Faith, no, what scared her was that she was capable of
hurting Laurel the way Faith's mother hurt her. That she had the
power to make or break who she was, or more importantly, what kind of
person she grew up to be.



Buffy reached up and touched Faith's cheek to get her attention. The
Dark Slayer looked down, and a tear fell from her eye. Faith could
live to be a hundred years old, her eyes still betrayed her. They had
an intensity and 'age' that always exceeded her years, like she'd seen
too much too soon and her body was always fighting to catch up to
everything her eyes had seen. "You knew. Everyone knew, but only
you'd go toe to toe with me."

Faith nodded almost imperceptibly. "I couldn't let you do that to
yourself or to Laurel. It's no way to live. For either one of you."
She smiled. "Besides, even being immortal, Xander woulda walked away
with a few bumps and bruises. This was a Slayer thing."



Buffy nodded in agreement. She looked up at Faith again after a few
moments. "I love you, you know. Maybe not in the way I---"

"Don't." Faith shook her head. "Don't drag up the past."



Buffy sat up and shook her head. "I'm not. I'm thinking about the
future." She leaned in and kissed her gently.



------




~~Kimber
List Gutter Lust Goddess, Masked Road Runner (meep, meep!!), Keeper of
the crazy lil comma, Slayer of the Mad Dragon's Heart, Elmer to Pat's
Wabbit, self proclaimed 'perfect drug' addict, and Official Tormenter
of the Phantom Chimpunk and her band of crazy nuts. Proud supporter
of the Mad Poet Society and the Troll under the Bridge.

Proud Member of the BtVS Writers Guild: Because fic makes anything
possible.

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