OT Humour: Revenge of the garden snake

["LaBarbera, William" <asagiri@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I got this from a friend 

It's obviously not real and I read an equally funny variation a few months
back, but it's definitely worth a chuckle or two! :-)

--Bill

-----Original Message-----
From: Sam Vamypre Koala [mailto:shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxxxxxx]
Sent: Tuesday, October 22, 2002 7:57 AM
To: LaBarbera, William
Subject: revenge of the garden snake


>Check this article out.
>
>
>
THIS IS JUST A WARNING TO WATCH OUT FOR THOSE HARMLESS LITTLE THINGS THAT
MIGHT BE IN HIDING
>
Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not
rattlesnakes.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a
recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green 
garden grass snake was hidden in oneof the plants and when it had warmed up,
it slithered out and the wife saw 
it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room naked 
to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the
sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.

About that time the family dog came and cold nosed him on the back side. 
He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The
attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying 
him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and one of the 
Emergency Medical Technicians saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.
That's 
when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on
a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself 
with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.

Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa
in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushion where 
she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake
rushed 
back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying there passed
out tried to use CPR 
to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband
on the back of the
head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to 
a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was again called when it was
determined
that the injury required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had
been bitten by the
snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, 
and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived.
They saw the 
unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had
occurred. They were about to 
arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened
over a little 
green snake.

The ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the
policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg
of the end table
that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it 
shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other
policeman tried to 
beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the
family dog, who startled, jumped up 
and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it
and smashed into the
parked police car and set it on fire.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house
was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving 
fire truck had started raising his ladder when they were halfway down the
street. The rising 
ladder tore out the overhead wires and pulled out the electricity and
disconnected telephones 
in a ten-square city block area.

Time passed..................

Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house was re-built. The
police acquired a new car, and all was right with the world..........

About a year later the original couple were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she 
thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

She shot him.






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