Re: CORRECTED VERSION (I hope): October 2002 Gutter Report

[Squall Leonhart <mcmacladdie@xxxxxxxxx>]

> 
> Item 1:
> Regarding one Squall Leonhart who was rescued by the
> Gutter Self-Defence
> Force and Lynch Mob after a brief encounter with the
> evil Riley and Mutt-boy
> shippers. Squall is doing well and is in an
> undisclosed location getting
> debriefed and - as I type - is sharing a spiked
> jungle juice keg with the
> Shade Wearing Koala and Silent Panicky gopher
> recounting his daring
> encounter and escape from the duller then dirt Riley
> and Mutt-boy shippers.
> At last report, our dear Squall is blaming his
> capture on a temporary
> confusion of a new list he joined and being thrown
> off by one of its members
> using a different screen name on him. In regards to
> the incident the
> mischief-making little fruit draining bat has issued
> the statement: "While
> it is fun messing with my fellow list-sibs minds...
> it was never my
> intention to cause anyone to fell victim to the evil
> Riley and Mutt-boy
> shippers."
> 

Luckily, the jungle juice is working it's magic on me
quite well :) I would, however, like to request the
use of several hover tanks and wet noodle launchers
for my SeeDs to use in their assault on the Riley and
Mutt-boy shippers. Apparently, there was an incident
in my absence while Quistis and Shiva were running the
Garden that involved a group of Trepies, some hidden
cameras, the PA system, and an impromptu closed
circuit television show that was broadcast to several
classrooms and the cafeteria. Several monsters in the
training area heard the "show" as well... the
T-Rexaurs are now trying to sneak out and peek in on
Quistis and Shiva during their "alone time". It is
felt (after throwing the offending Trepies in the
detention area) that some large scale violence against
the Riley and Mutt-boy shippers responsible for my
capture would help get the (to some, anyways)
disturbing image of their instructor and her lady-love
in the throes of passion out of their heads.

--Squall Leonhart
"I dreamt I was a moron..."
--Squall Leonhart, Final Fantasy 8

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