FIC; "A Journey of a Thousand Miles" (8/8)

[JDMeans@xxxxxxx]

Yes, let the bells ring out and the banners fly, I've finished it! Chapter 
eight, plus an epilogue. Hopefully I got the Egyptian mythology right.  
Enjoy.

Disclaimers
Hey, you think Buffy would have gone near Spike without at least a canister 
of garlic spray if I owned the show? If it's Buffy, it's Joss, Marti, Mutant 
Enemy and 20th Century Fox.

Spoilers
Up to 'Wrecked', a.k.a. the BtVS After-school Special

Archives
Please do. Just get my name right.

Feedback
Give me a happy at JDMeans@xxxxxxx

Rating
PG-13 to R for angst.

Summary
Two friends begin their recovery from the darkness that threatened to claim 
them. But Spike and Rack are still out there. And for Buffy and Willow, 
their only salvation may be in each other…

A Journey of a Thousand Miles
By Kirayoshi

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
--Chinese proverb


Chapter Eight
My Sacrifice

"Hello, my friend, we meet again,
It's been so long, where should we begin?
Feels like forever.

Within my heart a memory
A perfect love that you gave to me,
Oh, I remember.

When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others, we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes,
My sacrifice."
--Creed
"My Sacrifice"

"Go to her," Rack ordered Buffy after he released her. "Say your goodbyes.  
She's mine now."

Buffy struggled to control her breathing. Each gasp of breath was an effort. 
Her heart pounded against her breast-bone, breaking a little more with each 
beat. She saw Willow advancing toward her, her body straight and erect. Her 
eyes were wide, her face an artist's study in concern. Her posture and 
expression all said the same thing; 'a brave front'.

Willow took Buffy's hands in her own, a small contact that nonetheless 
connected Buffy to a thousand memories, a thousand sights, sounds and 
thoughts all orbiting around Willow. Consoling hugs, shared jokes, 
sleepovers, ice cream sundaes, quiet moments and so many other little things. 
And after tonight, they would be lost to her forever. Willow would be lost 
to her forever.  

The enormity of that realization proved to be Buffy's undoing. Her knees 
gave out from under her, and her breathing was reduced to gasping sobs. Arms 
surrounded her, embracing her tightly. "Don't cry on me, Buffy," Willow 
whispered raggedly. "You have to be strong now, for both of us."

"I can't, Willow," Buffy wailed as she crumbled to the ground, her despair 
consuming her. "I can't just watch you march off to that bastard!"

"I have to do this," Willow argued, her chin trembling but still set in firm 
determination. "I'm not going to let Rack do anything to you. You're too 
important, the world needs you."

"But I need you," Buffy cried, her voice heavy with loss. She leaned toward 
Willow, desperate to prolong the contact. Willow complied, her face so close 
that Buffy could feel Willow's warmth on her skin. All she wanted was to be 
lost in that heat…

"Okay, Strawberry," Rack's voice rasped against Buffy's ears. "Time's up.  
Come to me." Willow backed away slowly from Buffy, swallowing hard. Her 
lips moved without speaking aloud; "I love you, Buffy." She turned away from 
Buffy and toward the bloated succubus, who grinned in victory over the 
anguished Slayer.

"Willow!" Buffy cried, reaching out to Willow, to stop her from leaving her, 
but Victoria rushed to her side, restraining her with a gentle hand on her 
shoulder. "No, Buffy," she spoke in a voice of forced calm, "this is her 
fight. Her final test. She has to do this alone." Buffy simply nodded, a 
knot of fear jamming her esophagus, her eyes fixed on Willow.

The redheaded Wiccan now stood in front of Rack, praying that she looked 
braver than she felt; if this was indeed the last time Buffy would ever see 
her in this world, she didn't want to look scared. She wanted Buffy to 
remember her as a person of strength and compassion, not the magic junkie she 
had become thanks to Rack. She took one last forlorn glance at Buffy. The 
Slayer's eyes fluttered, tears flowing freely. For one eternal second 
Buffy's charcoal gray eyes locked with her own, and Willow could feel the 
devastation in her beloved's heart. She could see Tara, Xander and Andrew 
gathering around Buffy, their eyes dark and hooded. Willow swallowed hard, 
praying that her next action was the correct one. She wrenched her eyes away 
from Buffy's and faced Rack.

The leering face of Rack filled her vision, and his breath, bearing a stench 
of dead things assailed her nostrils. She absently thought of Jabba the Hutt 
in "Return of the Jedi", laughing his dark, hideous laugh at the captive 
Princess Leia, chuckling, "In time, you will grow to appreciate me." She 
gritted her teeth and raised her head. "I'm here, Rack. I have your word 
that you will not harm my friends."

Rack snarled sardonically, flashing a yellowing incisor at Willow. "I gave 
no such word, Strawberry. But I have no need of them. They are safe from 
me. Now," he reached a hand around Willow's neck, slowly running the tips of 
his fingers across her spinal column, sending involuntary shivers through her 
nervous system. "Give me your power, my strawberry," he purred, "and I will 
give you pleasure."

Willow said nothing. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. Rack 
placed his free hand on Willow's forehead. Her skin began to warm where his 
fingers touched her, a sensation familiar from when she first encountered the 
magic dealer. The warmth became a heat, a fire that seared her soul if not 
her flesh…

Xander clenched and unclenched his fist, wanting desperately to cave Rack's 
face in. Andrew stood silently, dumbstruck at Willow's act of sacrifice.  
Tara and Victoria whispered silent prayers to the Goddess to protect and 
guard Willow in this terrible hour. No one dared move or speak, fearing what 
Rack would do to Willow if he was interrupted.

"No…" A primal growl broke the terrible silence.  

"No…" The growl picked up volume, intensity, purpose.

"NO!" The cry ripped out of the Slayer's throat, galvanizing everyone within 
her radius. Before Rack could throw up a defensive spell to block her 
attack, she broke free of Victoria's hand on her shoulder and launched 
herself toward the succubus, her hands extended in front of her, her nails 
sharp as eagle's talons. She grabbed the hand caressing Willow's head by the 
wrist…

<<>>

The sensation of weightlessness came first. No sense of up or down, simply 
floating adrift without awareness of direction. Around her, the darkness was 
occasionally broken by iridescent flashes, fluorescent greens, blues and 
oranges. Like being suspended within the Aurora Borealis, except she didn't 
see these colors, not in any physical definition. Such terms as sight and 
sound held no meaning in this world. Rather, she felt them, sensed them 
slowly becoming part of her awareness.

As she became more aware of her surroundings, she felt a familiar presence 
beside her; radiating warmth and compassion. She felt herself being drawn 
toward this presence, and surrendered to the pull; she knew with every fiber 
of her soul what that presence was, needed that presence in her life. Like 
water, food or oxygen, this presence was a necessary component of her 
survival. As she approached the sensation, it slowly coalesced into a form, 
little more than a pattern of energy, but one that Buffy was incapable of 
mistaking. A flash of knowing green eyes amid warm red hair.

---Willow--- she spoke/thought the word, and the form beside her turned to 
face her.

---Buffy--- the form replied. Buffy could feel the caring, the tenderness 
and love emanating from Willow's form in waves, falling over Buffy, flooding 
her, filling her. ---You came for me.---

---How could I not?--- With eyes that weren't fooled by human sight, Buffy 
and Willow gazed at each other. The fact that neither one was clothed didn't 
escape their notice, nor the fact that they weren't nude either. For the 
first time in their lives, Buffy and Willow stood truly naked before each 
other. Buffy saw Willow's form shift constantly in its colors; a bright 
whiteness tinged with reds and greens, marred by dark patches that Buffy 
instinctively knew to be recent, but now began to fade. The darkness that 
she had plunged into, Buffy reasoned, Rack's taint.  

---Rack!--- Buffy shouted in her mind and Willow followed the thought.  
---Where is he?---

---Not here,--- Willow answered, her voice echoing in Buffy's soul like the 
tingling of a silver bell. ---I don't think that he's anywhere anymore. I 
felt him-leave when you touched us.---

Buffy drank in Willow's thoughts, losing herself in the warmth of her smile.  
Part of her wondered what Willow saw when she looked at her, and wanted to 
hide from her. But one look into the endless jade pools of her eyes assured 
her that Willow was as enraptured by Buffy's soul as Buffy was in Willow's.

---Gods--- Buffy thought, ---you are so beautiful---

---No, Buffy--- Willow reached out her hand to Buffy, who grasped it eagerly. 
The two hands merged, fused into one, connecting Buffy and Willow. ---We 
are---

Buffy glanced down at the juncture where she and Willow were joined, and 
noticed that their arms were disappearing into each other. Her elbow now 
connected to Willow's, and their forms were fusing even further. For a 
moment, she started to panic, but Willow's mind whispered to hers; ---Don't 
fight this. This is how it was meant to be, Buffy.---  

The single form that stood where the two discrete forms once existed followed 
the thought, accepting it as truth without question. Buffy relaxed, felt the 
merging of souls, felt herself blending with Willow, and gradually came to 
know that it was right. Buffy felt Willow's darkness, so similar to her own, 
while Willow bathed into the muted light that was Buffy. The darkness and 
light merged, canceling each other out, but at the same time defining each 
other.

---I'm not losing part of myself,--- Buffy/Willow thought, ---I've gained 
that part of myself that I was missing.--- The merged souls couldn't even 
think in the plural; they were one entity. And that thought gave 'her' such 
joy as neither half had ever known separately.

As Buffy/Willow drifted in this formless place, the lights shifted, the 
darkness faded to a faintly golden light. Colors and shapes coalesced, 
became more defined. A doorway of stone stood before her, and she passed 
through without thinking. Halls of stone shot up beside her, illuminated by 
some unknown light. On one wall a bas relief of a sun-disk hovered over 
images of scarabs, cobras and birds.  

---Very Egyptian,--- that part of her that was Willow commented mentally.

---Yeah,--- the Buffy-half answered. ---Where are Rick and Evie O'Connell 
when we need them?---

Buffy/Willow smirked at the thought, as she drifted forward through the 
ancient halls. She scanned the engravings on the walls, amazed as their 
meaning became clear in her mind; an ibis-headed figure was tricked by his 
scheming brother into entering a cabinet. The schemer hacked his brother 
into pieces, placed them into the cabinet, sealed the cabinet with wax, and 
dropped the cabinet into the Nile. The wife of the ibis headed man rowed her 
barge down the river, retrieving the pieces of her husband and restoring them 
to life. The reanimated ibis then took his rightful place as the ruler of 
the underworld.

---Osiris,--- Buffy/Willow thought, knowing without understanding how they 
knew that they were reading the myth of the God of the Dead. Before she 
could pursue the thought, white light flooded the hall, briefly blinding her. 
Blinking, she risked opening her eyes.

She stood in a vast amphitheater, the ceiling high and dome-like. Vividly 
colored hieroglyphic murals covered the walls, as sphinx-like statuary 
flanked her pathway on either side. At the center of the amphitheater stood 
a mahogany statue of a powerful man with the head of an ibis. She felt 
herself flying faster as she was drawn toward the ibis-headed man, and in an 
instant stood before him. The giant stood immobile, not even regarding her 
presence, for a minute or a lifetime, the concept of time didn't hold any 
meaning to her in this realm.  

Then the ibis head craned rapidly and peered at Buffy/Willow, onyx eyes set 
into a face of great wisdom. Osiris-the enjoined soul knew that he could be 
no other-measured her with an eerie precision, his eyes gazing through her 
and into her. He lifted his hand, holding a golden scale. He gestured 
toward Buffy/Willow, pulling her toward the scale, resting them on one pan.  
Suddenly, the combined soul possessed weight, causing the scale to tip.  
Buffy/Willow looked over the edge of the pan, and stared into a black abyss.  
At the bottom of that blackness, greedy eyes glittered at them, sharp teeth 
shined whitely at them. ---Ammat,--- she identified the demon. She silently 
prayed that Osiris did not find them wanting.

Osiris raised his free hand above his head and grasped at the air. He 
brought his hand down, displaying an enormous white feather to Buffy/Willow.  
He placed the feather in the other pan of the scale and waited…

The pan containing the feather lowered, the scale tilted and Buffy/Willow's 
pan rose high into the air.

Osiris regarded Buffy/Willow with his sharp eyes, and smiled-

<<>>

Buffy felt a warm body within her arms, felt a gentle breath tickle her ear.  
Lifting her weight from the ground, she stared hard at the body beneath her, 
her heart skipping a beat in fear of what she would see.

Willow lifted her head, locked her eyes with Buffy, and smiled. Buffy 
released a breath she only now knew she was holding, and hugged Willow 
tightly to her, laughing and crying and laughing again. The two women rolled 
around the ground, rejoicing in being alive, and being together.

Their joyful display was interrupted by a familiar voice shouting at the top 
of his lungs; "WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?"

Buffy and Willow craned their heads toward Xander and the others. Xander's 
jaw unhinged and hung slack, Tara's eyes widened in shock, Victoria gave a 
relieved sigh, and Andrew simply gawked. There was no sign of Rack.

Buffy and Willow stared at their friends for a count of three and started 
laughing.

"Come on, guys," Victoria whispered sotto voce to the others, as Buffy stood 
up and pulled Willow to her feet, "let's head back to Buffy's place and 
figure out what happened."

<<>>

Willow curled up on Buffy's lap, while the others gathered around in the 
living room, each one holding a cup of coffee or cocoa. Dawn and Anya 
listened to Buffy and Willow trading off in their descriptions of the night's 
events. Dawn was relieved that her sister was alive and well, but shocked 
that Spike, someone she had grown to trust, could hurt her as deeply as he 
had. She noticed the way that Buffy's hand constantly sought out Willow's, 
and then glanced at Tara. If the blond wiccan was sad at Willow's choosing 
Buffy over her, she hid her sorrow well. Dawn sat back and prayed that Tara 
would find her happiness, as Buffy and Willow clearly have in each other.

"And after Osiris smiled at us," Willow finished her narration, "we found 
ourselves back here. But I'm still not clear what happened. I mean, after 
Buffy tried to push me out of the way, what happened to Rack?"

"I think you did, Willow," Victoria answered, sipping her coffee serenely.  
"When Buffy began to push you away, we saw a flash of bright light. When the 
light faded, Rack was gone, and you and Buffy fell to the ground. I suspect 
that he overloaded on your shared energy, and it consumed him."

"I don't get it," Buffy said. "I thought Rack drew his strength from magic 
energy. I don't have any magic, do I?"

"Oh, I dunno," Willow looked up at Buffy, her face dimpling in an elfin 
smile. "That kiss in Spike's crypt was pretty magical to me." Andrew leered 
at Willow's comment, only to be shot down by Tara's withering stare.

Victoria chuckled, answering, "It wasn't the magic that overloaded him, 
Buffy, but the love behind it. It was that power that consumed him." Willow 
nodded in agreement, snuggling closer to Buffy. 

"I'm still kinda fuzzy about that whole giant bird-headed dude and all that," 
Xander admitted. He sat on his favorite chair in Buffy's living room, while 
Anya sat on the floor in front of him, her head cradled between Xander's 
knees, as Xander idly ran his hands through her hair. "Okay, I get the whole 
soul-merging thing, meaning that you're soulmates or something like that, 
right?"

"We felt that too, Xander," Buffy said solemnly. "Uh, sorry 'bout that, 
Tara."

"Don't be, Buffy," Tara flashed her a watery smile. "Just treat her well."  
Buffy nodded her thanks to Tara.

"I think what we saw was the end of our final testing," Willow said. "The 
last test of the Urn of Osiris. We were in the presence of Osiris, the final 
judge."

"If I remember the mythology correctly," Victoria explained, "Osiris, the 
Lord of the Underworld, placed each soul that approached him on one pan of a 
scale, and a feather on the other pan. If the soul was heavy with evil and 
darkness, and proved to be heavier than the feather, the soul would fall into 
the pit of the demon Ammat, the devourer of souls. If the soul proved 
lighter than the feather, it would be welcomed to Osiris's fields."

"So what happened to us," Buffy reasoned, "was sort of a closure. Like we 
finally got the darkness out of our systems."

"Exactly," Victoria answered. "In the end, what was needed to complete the 
cleansing was each other. You, Willow, cast a light on Buffy's darkness.  
And you, Buffy, through your familiarity with the dark, helped Willow bear 
the burden of her dark magic."

Buffy and Willow digested Victoria's words, weighed them in their minds, and 
knew them to be the truth. Buffy turned to Willow, and saw into the depths 
of her bright green eyes, far brighter than they had shone in months.  

"So, Willow," Buffy quipped, "you ready for the cleansing ceremony on the 
Solstice?"

Willow gasped briefly. "That's in five days, isn't it? Victoria, will you 
be there?"

Victoria felt a tear of joy at Willow's question. "I wouldn't miss it for 
the world, Willow."

"Neither would I," Tara answered. Xander, Anya and Dawn also spoke in 
agreement, and even Andrew smiled approvingly toward the redhaired witch.  
Willow basked in the comfort and support of her closest friends. For the 
first time in longer than she could fathom, she was looking forward to 
tomorrow.

Buffy took Willow into her arms once more, giving her beloved a comforting 
hug. "Welcome back, Willow," Buffy began to cry with joy. "I missed you."

<<>>

Epilogue; Six Months Later

"Making my way downtown,
Walking fast, faces pass
And I'm homebound.
Staring blindly ahead,
Making my way, making my way
Through the crowd.

And I need you,
And I miss you,
And now I wonder

If I should fall into the sky,
Do you think time would pass us by
'Cause you know I would walk a thousand miles,
If I could just see you-
Tonight."

--Vanessa Carlton
"A Thousand Miles"

Sunlight streamed through the window of the main bedroom in the Summer's 
house. Formerly occupied by Buffy's mother before her death, the room was 
now shared by Buffy and Willow, much to Dawn's relief; she had occasionally 
quipped that she was glad that Buffy and Willow were sleeping far enough from 
Dawn's bedroom that she couldn't hear them. According to Dawn, Buffy and 
Willow could get rather vocal during the throes of passion.

Buffy stirred slowly, unwilling to leave their bed. She luxuriated in the 
scent of Willow's hair on the pillow next to her, and her fingers strayed 
toward her lover's side of the bed. When all she felt was the indentation 
left by Willow's body, Buffy's eyes suddenly snapped open and her body bolted 
up. "Willow?" she called out.

"Right here," Willow's voice chimed from the hallway, easing the fears that 
were beginning to sprout in Buffy's soul. Willow slowly entered the room, 
carrying a bed-tray loaded with two plates, a skillet of scrambled eggs, a 
bottle of Tabasco sauce, a pitcher of juice and two glasses. She placed the 
tray on the bed next to Buffy and leaned in for a kiss, which Buffy happily 
surrendered. "Happy six-month anniversary," she breathed in a sultry 
whisper.

"Hmm," Buffy hummed as she took another taste of Willow's lips. "Y'know, 
this is the first time I ever celebrated a six-month anniversary."

Willow crooked an eyebrow as she dished out some eggs to Buffy's plate, 
saying, "You mean Riley never treated you to breakfast in bed at the 
six-month point? Well, now, that should have been your first clue that 
something was wrong with that boy."

"Excuse me," Buffy reminded Willow, "I thought we had a standing agreement 
never to mention ex-lovers in this bed."

Willow blushed for a second, then regrouped; "Uh, technically, I'm not in the 
bed right now."

"True, true," Buffy's face suddenly took on a wicked expression, one that 
thrilled Willow with its erotic promise. "We should correct that oversight." 
Buffy suddenly lunged forward, taking Willow by the waist and pulling her 
into the bed with her. Only her Slayer reflexes prevented her sudden attack 
on Willow from knocking the tray onto the floor. "Much better," Buffy 
purred, enjoying the weight of her lover firmly on top of her. Their lips 
drew toward each other in a long, slow kiss. Not the kiss of two people 
intent on making love, but the kiss of two who were secure in the love they 
shared.

"Good morning, Willow," Buffy cooed, her head happily nuzzling Willow's neck.

"The best," Willow agreed wholeheartedly.

The two lovers finally disengaged the hug long enough to get to the breakfast 
Willow had prepared. Even as they ate, their hands strayed, touching and 
caressing each other. While their first kiss was not one of passion, they 
both knew that passion was coming soon.

Buffy shook the Tabasco bottle over her plate, sprinkling drops of red pepper 
sauce over her eggs, while Willow looked on in amazement. "I'm amazed that 
your tongue still works, considering how much you love Tabasco on your eggs."

Buffy slid her eyes slyly toward Willow, her voice husky with latent desire; 
"I didn't get any complaints about how my tongue worked last night."

Willow's cheeks suddenly turned redder than her hair. "That's not what I 
meant and you know it," she whispered hoarsely.

Buffy laughed at Willow's slight embarrassment, then scooted her butt up the 
bed until her body was touching her lover's. "Maybe I'll give you another 
demonstration after breakfast. That is, if you want."

"I want, I want," Willow grinned hugely.

"Hey, don't go all Cave-Willow on me," Buffy teased, as she ate another 
forkful of eggs.

As the two women finished their breakfast, Buffy turned to Willow and asked, 
"Hey, we're supposed to meet Tara today, right?"

"What happened to 'no talking about our exes in this bed'?" Willow quizzed 
Buffy.

"Tara doesn't count," Buffy insisted, "she's still family."

"Fair enough," Willow answered. "Besides, now that she and Amy got together 
after Rack's disappearance, they're both happier than they've been in a long 
time. And with Amy preparing for her cleansing ceremony at the Summer 
Solstice next week, Tara's really excited."

"That's good," Buffy agreed. "I'm glad that Tara and Victoria were able to 
find Amy after Rack died. After all Rack put her through, she was in bad 
shape."

"Yeah, but she's been improving. Since she and I joined Victoria's coven, 
we've both learned to embrace the spiritual side of Wicca. I think that's 
made a lot of difference."

"I'm glad," Buffy leaned her head on Willow's shoulder, again smelling the 
sweet jasmine scent of Willow's shampoo. "Of course, there's no cure for my 
addiction, is there?"

"Your addiction?" Willow gave Buffy a puzzled look.

"I'm a Willow-holic," Buffy declared.  

"Well," Willow giggled, "I guess that makes me a Buffy-holic. And that's one 
habit I don't plan to kick." After they laughed again, Willow's voice grew 
more serious, more passionate; "But it's far more than that, Buffy. This," 
she took Buffy's hand in hers and lifted it between them, "is what we gained 
from our experience. Our souls merged in Orisis's realm. The way they were 
meant to. We're one soul, Buffy, in two bodies. And I can't imagine a 
better fate." Willow pulled Buffy's hand to her lips and kissed her knuckle.

Buffy raised her eyes to meet her lover's again. "Willow Rosenberg, will you 
marry me?"

"Yes, Buffy, I will," Willow answered immediately, joy shining in her green 
eyes. "But we wouldn't need the ceremony anyway. In the truest sense of the 
word, we already are married."

Buffy had no more words for Willow, and indeed words were not needed. She 
took Willow's body in her arms again, not caring whether the breakfast tray 
fell off the bed, and leaned on top of her in a passionate kiss. Willow 
responded with as much ardor as she could, and soon they began to shed their 
clothes, resuming the most ancient celebration.  

They never did finish their breakfast, but neither one complained.

<<>>

"And I would walk five hundred miles,
And I would walk five hundred more,
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door."
--The Proclaimers
"Five Hundred Miles(I'm Gonna Be)"