Re: ::buffywantswillow::fic challenge i guess and thoughts on fics

["sochankitsune <annelise@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>" <annelise@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

> i've noticed that everytime buffy and willow
> get together and come out to everyone...it's like the
> whole world is ok with it.

I live in the UK, and we don't have the highly stylised social 
breakdowns that seem commonplace in US schools. I don't know how 
anyone puts up with the fake hierarchies that appear in films like 
Bring It On and Princess Diaries. Over here, there's a lot more 
tolerance for *women* being gay. In. fact its almost at the point 
where lesbian relationships are *more* popular and 'in' than straight 
hetero, especially to and amongst friends.
Families though are a whole different story.
Opinions here have changed massively since I was at university 
seven years ago. 
Back then I had a friend, a very good friend and sometime partner, 
who attended Warwick University just outside Coventry. She was an 
active member of Warwick Uni's LesBiGay society, and one a group of 
homophobic 'ethnics' followed her halfway home, raped and killed her.
Now though its easier to walk the streets holding hands, hugging, 
and kissing in moderation. TV no longer depicts us as aberrations, 
and the 'Eastenders' generation has caught on to this and become more 
accomodating.
Sometimes I wish I'd been born five years later.
I'd have gone to university and grown up in a world that understood 
me and not hated me, and maybe I'd still have my best friend.
To the point: Fanfic is where we go to escape the mundane; to 
follow our fantasies. Many of us enjoy happy endings, or tales of 
acceptance, as they are the antithesis of our lives. If the reality 
is what you're after, by all means write of it, but please understand 
the motivations and desires of those of us who write with rose-tinted 
glasses.

Anne-Lise

--

Sometimes I really envy Buffy. We've been roomies for only a few 
weeks, and lovers for less, and yet she's already been able to admit 
this to her mother.
I suppose after telling your mother you're a vampire slayer, and 
having zombies rise from the dead and attack on the day after you 
return home from running away to LA; anything else comes easy.
Me, I'm scared to death.
I sometimes wish Xander was still a big part of my life. When I was 
younger he was always at my house, talking, playing. My mother used 
to dote on him something rotten back then. My mother was always 
into 'causes', and the Harris family were ever a noble cause. I wish 
he was still around to talk to, but I don't think even he'd 
understand this one. Besides, I think he still has a little bit of a 
crush on me. He even lost Cordelia over me. But hell, no big loss.
It doesn't help that I'm not sure of my own heart. Yes, I have 
feelings for her. Deep feelings. But I can't see our future together 
like I could when I imagined myself with Oz, or Xander. My future may 
not contain picket fences and blue skies, but I could at least dream 
of them. Now, I see only troubled times and angst. Maybe, though, 
these dreams are more honest.
I dreamed last night of telling my mother. In my dream, things went 
well, at first. She seemed a little upset that I'd chosen to spend my 
life with another woman, but she got over it quite quickly. Then she 
found out that the woman was Buffy, and it all went wrong. She seemed 
more upset that Buffy wasn't Jewish. I then dreamed I ran out into 
the cold snow wearing only my PJs, and my father had to follow after 
me. He reversed the car into a tree, and afterwards we all hugged, 
cried and made up.
I think reality would be more the nightmare, and less with the snow 
and picturesque.
I think that everything would be different between me and Xander. 
Irrevocably different.
I think that if things didn't work out, I'd lose Buffy.
I think... I don't know what I think.
But I feel.
The door opens, and my heart flutters, and...