FB: Into the Abyss - NC-17 - B/W; F/D

["Matthias Engel" <Solarsenshi@xxxxxx>]

Sorry, couldn't get back to you earlier.
Anyway, interesting story. I liked the way you put a bit more light on your
couples individually because that has been a sort of lacking point before.
What I mean is. Most of the "get them together" phase for Buffy and Willow
you did from Dakota's point of view up until the very end of the first
series. Then you had them all free together until Dakota left. But there was
very little direct interaction between Buffy and Willow themselves which I
always found a little odd because the reader would of course like to read
more about them not just about the fact that they are together.
The same thing goes for Faith and Dakota where I might add it would really
have been nice if you wrote up something for them. The starting phase of
their relationship I mean. I just do not really know what to make of them.
You know, they are just there, a couple. And that's it. I cannot really
relate to them being together like this. It is just a suggestion but I feel
it would give them more substance. The way it is now it seems to the reader
they are just thrown together for the sake of the pairing which is never a
good thing. Think about it.

Other than that, there was a bit of a gap between the start of the battle at
the end of... part 7, I think it was, and its continuation. This was a
little disorientating but not really much of a problem.

As I said I liked the interaction between B/W and F/Dakota. Also you seem to
have cooked up a nice layout for the academy and their staff/students making
the reader curious about some of them without pushing them to far into the
spotlight.

I enjoyed reading it and am still interested on how you will develop this
verse.

Ja ne, yours

Matthias

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