Rainne rates "Chosen" (LONG)

[<djgirl1978@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Massive spoilers ahead.
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Okay. I just finished watching "Chosen" and I'm about to give you my full critique of this episode... pretty much yummy thing by yummy thing.

>Previously on Buffy: -5 points for treating this one like any other ep. Iwas almost sure we'd get the full rundown like we did at the beginning of "The Gift", and I feel it would have been more appropriate.

>"OK, I'm basked. What are you doing here?" +2 for getting over it. Nice.

>Caleb's sudden return to life and the subsequent segmenting of his person:+3. Liked it a lot. Especially the "not having the balls" part: "Who does, nowadays?"... and especially "he had to split." Top twenty Buffy lines of all time... this one's somewhere in the middle.

>"purifying power, cleansing power, possibly scrubbing bubbles": +1 for Angel busting a funny.

> "oh. well. that's great. everyone's got a soul now." and everything that followed in this conversation: +2 for jealous Angel cuz he's so frickin funny... -1 for implied B/A cuz... hello, Angelus?!

>The cookie dough analogy: +2

>Angel leaving: +3 cuz thank God.

>The entire confrontation between Dawn and Buffy: +5 

>Dawn kicking Buffy in the shin: +1 extra.

>"Hey, party in my eye socket, and everyone's invited!": +3

>The whole Spike/Buffy convo in the basement: -10

>Buffy telling Spike how it was: +2 despite the rest of the convo

>Spike getting balls: +5

>Spike proving that his balls were full of hot air: -5

>Buffy convo w/ The First Evil S&L: +2

>Buffy smiting The First Evil S&L with the considerable power of her wit: +1

>Spike drowning in footwear: +/- 0 because we can only dream.

>Giles' response to Buffy's plan: +3

>"A total loss of control. And not in a nice, wholesome, my-girlfriend-has-a-pierced-tongue kinda way": +10

>Giles's face after she said that: +1

>Dawn getting the "pierced tongue" thing: +2

>"What am I, insensitive?": +2

>Buffy's speech: +5 for being the last one we'll have to endure.

>No points awarded here: Where the HELL did all those girls come from?!

>Faith and Wood in the basement: +5

>"Oh, please, I am so much prettier than you are. And, for the record, ourlittle encounter didn't exactly change my world.": +3 for finally making me like Wood.

>Willow and Kennedy: +5

>"Bite me." "I will.": +1

>"You know Buffy: sweet girl; not that bright.": +2

>Giles, Amanda, Xander and Andrew playing D&D: +5

>Spuffiness: -20 because I HATE SPUFFINESS.

>"Welcome to Dunnydale High. There's no running in the halls...": +2

>"Bathroom is to your left...": +2

>Andrew's Oscar acceptance speech: +1 for the shout out to Tucker

>The scene with the Original Four: +5 overall

>What are we gonna do tomorrow?: +1

>The earth is definitely doomed: +4 for going all the way back to Welcome to the Hellmouth.

>"You ready to... he he... kill me?" "Starting to be.": +1

>"I'm not worried... I'm not worried... I'm not worried...?": +2

>"As long as Willow can work her spell before they... see us.": -5 for being able to see that one coming.

>Flashback to Buffy's speech about Willow: +2

>Buffy's unwavering confidence in Willow: +2

>Willow's lack of sixth-season arrogance: +2

>The montage of Potentials being chosen: +1

>The little girl on the baseball field: +1 extra

>The chubby girl standing up to the abuser: +2 for striking me right in my childhood.

>Willow channelling completely white magick for the first time: +5

>"Ah! That was nifty!": +1 for being patented Willow

>Vi finally kicks ass: +1

>Bunnies: +2

>Giles NOT getting knocked out in a fight for once: +1

>Buffy taking a bad wound: +2 for coming right out of nowhere and slapping me

>Faith using Buffy's full name for the first time I can remember: +2

>Buffy finally giving up control willingly to someone else: +1

>Anya's death: -5 because I was just starting to like her.

>Chao-Ahn and Amanda dying: -2 because I liked them

>"I want you to get out of my face!": +1 for attitude while suffering a gutwound.

>Vi kicks some more ass: +1

>Kennedy: +1

>Spike channelling sunlight: +1 for finally being useful

>the final chat between Spike and Buffy: -5 for being stupid

>Xander not having to find Anya's body: +5 for not putting him through that

>Spike catching fire: +2

>"I love you" "No you don't but thanks for saying it": -5 for Spuffiness.

>Buffy blowing up the high school AGAIN: +3 for being funny as hell

>Watching Spike turn into a big pile of dust: +5 for ABOUT BLOODY FUCKING TIME

>Buffy with a gut wound running across several rooftops as they collapse beneath her and then jumping onto the roof of the bus and then hanging on as it screeched to a stop: -2 because I'm not sure I buy it

>The "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign falling into the crater: +1 for style

>The crater: +4

>"She died saving my life": +1

>Wood faking death to "surprise" Faith: -5 cuz I'd of kicked his ass into the crater for that.

>There's another hellmouth in Cleveland? Are we gonna turn Cleveland into acrater, too? If so: +4

>"We destroyed the mall? I fought for the wrong side.": +3

>"Who will remember all those landmarks unless we tell the world about them?" Yes, let's have Andrew turn us into a television show. We could call it "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.": +1 cuz I'm iffy on this line.

>"Can I push him in?" "You've got my vote.": +2

>Buffy's closeup in the final seconds: +10.

Overall score: 95/100 A

~~Rainne
******
Willow: [Spells] work, Riley, but they take concentration, being attuned with the forces of the universe.
Xander: Right. You can't just go 'Librum incendere' and expect - [book catches fire]
Giles: Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books.
-- Superstar -- Buffy 4x17 --