FIC: For The First Time (NC-17)

[jeepy91@xxxxxxx]

Ok, well I got talked into this against my better judgment LOL I've never 
once written anything remotely graphic. Well that all changed with this one.

This is sort of an Epilogue/Sequel to my last B/W fic 'Summer Confessions'. 
You probably should be familiar with that one to know the details behind this, 
and you can find it at IKOLY or Realm of the Shadow. 

This is pretty much PWP, in Buffy's POV. And I was beyond nervous about 
writing this. Not to mention blushing to the roots of my hair. So please, do let 
me know what you think. I want to know just how badly I botched it up! LOL 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author: Casandra
Email: Casandra@xxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: June 2003
Disclaimer: I don't own them, which sucks. But oh well. The characters 
herein belong to Joss Whedon, ME, and company.
Rating: NC-17. Shocking coming from me, I know.
Warning: If two woman being and love and expressing that love is offensive 
to you, or you are under the age of 18 and it's illegal, move someplace where 
it's not! Otherwise, you better not scroll down any farther.
Distribution: You can find most of my work at Realm of the Shadow and IKOLY. 
Anyone else who wants it feel free, just please drop me a note so I know 
where it's going.
Feedback: Yes please! And especially on this one, since it's my first try at 
something naughty.
Pairing: Buffy/Willow
Spoilers: Not really, pretty much PWP, but if you haven't read my Summer 
Confessions fic, you might be a bit lost.
Summary: Picks up at the end of 'Summer Confessions'. So much for waiting.
Author's Notes: Well I wasn't going to add onto SC, but I got talked into 
writing something a tad bit naughtier than I'm used to writing. I blushed my 
way through the entire thing, so I hope its not too bad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"So how did it go?" I'm really not sure I want to know. I've been sitting 
here in my room for the last three hours wondering if today was the day my 
dream finally ended. Tara had come home early from her trip back east for the 
summer and I was a nervous wreck. Willow and I have been together now for almost 
two months. But we haven't consummated our relationship yet. I had to go 
and open my big mouth and tell her we had to wait. At least until Tara was 
aware of our coupling. I wouldn't have felt right making love with Will if she 
was still technically Tara's girlfriend. I love Willow so much, I wasn't about 
to make a cheater out of her. She already has had to deal with the 
ramifications of her illicit smoochies with Xander, and I hated seeing her so pained by 
that. I wasn't about to be a party to another heartache for her.

Even if the last 7 weeks have been a study in torture. We're together almost 
all the time now. She sleeps over here more often than not, we're together 
almost all day long, and she patrols with me almost every night. 

And I'm loving it.

I love having her beside me on a constant basis. I feel secure, content, and 
safe. She's home to me. So I'm always home now, because she's always with 
me. But it's been so hard resisting the urge to just ravish her at any given 
moment of the day. I really don't think she has any idea the kind of feelings 
she provokes in me. 

She's a cuddler. So on the nights she spends over she wraps herself around me 
like a land bound octopus. And I love having her next to me. It's the most 
desirable feeling in the world knowing she trusts me that much to fall asleep 
in my arms, secure in the knowledge that I'll protect her. But my control is 
starting to slip with each passing night. I want more than anything to just 
make love to her right then and there. Tender sweet love. I'm not into the 
sex anymore. Riley and I did enough of that to last me this lifetime and the 
next. But with Will it's different. I want to spend hours learning every curve 
of her body, every freckle that dots her perfect form. I want my hands to 
glide over every inch of her silky skin, memorizing their way from her 
shoulders, past her shapely hips, all the way down to her cute little toes. And then 
do it all over again.

But we've been waiting until she can talk with Tara. And I smack myself 
quite often because it was my idea in the first place. I can be patient and I'd 
wait forever and a day for her, it's just I love Willow so much that the only 
way I feel that I can prove just how much is by showing her physically. But I 
still can't help but feel a tiny bit insecure about our relationship. I know 
she's slept with Tara. They have that connection that Willow and I don't have 
yet. And I always have this nagging fear that she's just been biding her 
time with me until Tara gets back. And then she'll leave me to go back to her. 
I know it's irrational and completely unfounded. Willow has never given me 
any reason whatsoever to doubt her love for me. But every time I have something 
good going, something worth holding onto for dear life, I either let it slip 
away from me or it gets taken away. And Willow is the last thing in the world 
I want to lose.

I'm drawn out of my dark thoughts when Will plops herself down on my bed next 
to me. She immediately curls up against my shoulder and pulls herself closer 
by wrapping her left arm around my midsection. Not one to argue I raise my 
own arm around to bring her as close as possible. I idly begin to stroke her 
hair, trying to coax her into sharing with me the conversation she had with 
Tara. I bet it was anything but pleasant.

"It was not fun. In fact it was the antithesis of fun. Nothing but badness 
and non-fun." She's pouting, she has her face buried in the crook of my 
shoulder, but I can hear it in her voice. "She was crying. And of course that 
made me cry. But apparently she knew all along how I felt about you. And for 
the longest time she was threatened by you. But then when you got so wrapped up 
in Riley she figured that there was nothing for her to worry about. So she 
wasn't just upset she was angry." Well I figured she wouldn't be happy about 
it. "I think you better stay away from her for a while. She's not your biggest 
fan right now." Great, knowing my luck I'll wake up tomorrow morning covered 
in monkey hair or something equally gross. Tara's a nice person though, 
underneath all my jealousy of her, she's been good to Willow, and for that I'll 
always be grateful to her. She helped pull Will out her funk after Oz left. 
Something I wish I could have done. Something I *should* have done.

"I'm sorry Will, I know that must have been hard on you." Willow is the type 
of person that hates to see anyone in pain. Even people she doesn't know she 
has sympathy for. It's one of the things I love most about her. She's such 
a caring person. Almost to a fault sometimes. Because times like this is 
when she feels it most. When she's the cause of someone else's hurt. I know 
she's going to carry guilt about this with her for quite a while. The best I can 
do is convince her that she made the right choice. I place a gentle kiss on 
her brow, soothingly rubbing circles around her back trying to settle her 
nerves a bit.

"It'll be ok. *I'll* be ok. As long as I still have you." Aww, make me 
melt into a puddle of Slayer mush here. She's so sweet and she doesn't even try 
to be that way. It's just the way she is. 

"Always. Never doubt that, baby." I love her unconditionally. No 
reservations. No hesitations. Holding her like this, loving her. It's as natural to 
me as breathing. Nothing can compare to this feeling.

She's been playing with the hem of my tee-shirt for the last 10 minutes or 
so, like she's trying to make up her mind about something. I turn my head and 
bury it in the soft silken strands of her auburn hair, content to just lie here 
with her in my arms. Just as I'm about to drift off into a pleasant nap I 
feel her fingers slide under my shirt and start inching their way up my sides. 
"Will, what are you doing?" I think I have a pretty good idea, but hey, a 
girl's gotta be sure about things like this.

"I love you Buffy. It's time to show you how much I love you." And with 
that she brings her head up and snares my lips in the most passionate kiss we've 
ever shared. It's full of heat and steam, and most of all, desire. And I 
know now that she wants me just as much as I want her. I never thought that 
possible.

I reluctantly pull away from our steamy embrace and cup her cheek in my palm. 
Her emerald eyes are glazed over with lust, her want for me radiating from 
her flushed face and swollen parted lips. "Are you sure?" I have to be 
positive. Because I'd forever regret it if she wasn't ready.

She places her hand atop my own that's resting against her face, pulling me 
slowly away and in the process taking one of my fingers and ever so softly 
sliding it into her mouth, lightly sucking and nipping at the tip. I think 
that's the most erotic thing I've ever seen in my entire life. "I've never been 
more certain of anything. I want you so much Buffy." I can hear the desire in 
her voice, its the deepest I can ever recall hearing, her tone emphasizing the 
weeks of waiting that we've been forced to endure by my own need for things to 
be perfect. Thank God my mother decided to go on that three day trip up to 
San Francisco for her gallery's acquisitions department.

The Slayer in me begs to be released from her confines though. I need to 
taste my Willow, I need to feel her writhing beneath my touch. I can't wait any 
longer. I gently tighten my arms around her and flip our positions, so now 
she's under me, helpless to anything I might have in store for her. Perfect 
pleasure, the most exquisite torture imaginable. Driving her to the very edges 
of her passion and reeling her back in, making her hold on for as long as 
possible. Or at least I hope. I'm new to this. New to making love period, but 
even newer to this particular version. But I'll try my damndest to make this 
the best first time possible. I have to. Because I can't imagine loving her 
anymore than I do right now. I didn't think it was possible to love someone 
this much. So much so that it frightens me sometimes. To think what I would do 
if she were to leave my life. Willingly or not. It scares me right down to 
the very core of my being. 

But none of that matters right now. Because I look down at her angelic face, 
sparkling jade eyes staring adoringly back up at me, glazed over with 
passion. Her lips slightly parted, her pink tongue darting out, licking her lips in 
anticipation. I can't deny her any longer, I can't deny *myself* any longer. 
This has been building for almost five years now. No more waiting.

I traced my fingertips across her cheek, reveling in the silky smooth skin 
under them. Ever so slowly I moved towards her, leaning down and capturing her 
lips in a sweet soft embrace. I trailed my tongue against her bottom lip, 
requesting entrance into her own wet cavern. She parted her mouth without 
hesitation, inviting me in and instantly seeking my own tongue out. They hugged 
together, embracing like lovers, dueling, neither one of us demanding control, 
just relaxing in the intimacy of the action.

As the kiss deepened I let my hands wander from their grasp along her waist, 
northward, slowly trailing them up under her shirt, scraping my fingernails 
ever so lightly along her overheated skin, leaving fresh goose bumps in my wake. 
Without breaking our kiss I blindly searched for the buttons keeping my 
eager hands from their desired treasure. I'm a Slayer, so coordination is 
something I need to be good at. But I don't think I've ever been more thankful for 
it than right now. I unbutton her top, slowly, teasing her with the promise of 
more contact. She shimmies up a bit on my bed, slipping out of the 
undesired garment, leaving her laying there with nothing more than her silk green bra 
from the waist up. I break away from our overheated kiss for a moment, 
completely stunned by the beautiful vision before me. Never in my life have I 
witnessed something as perfect as Willow lying under me this very moment. She's 
the epitome of everything wonderful in this world, and I'm speechless that she's 
mine. My love, my life, and soon, my lover. Sensing my hesitation, she 
reaches around behind her and unclasps her bra, letting the straps slide down her 
shoulders to reveal the glory of her breasts. She's just the perfect size. 
Not small in the least bit, but not too large. They're perfect, just like the 
rest of her. 

I place a gentle kiss on her now swollen lips before moving my way down her 
jaw. Trailing my tongue down to her pulse point and ever so delicately 
nipping. She moans a bit so I know I must be doing something right. I leave the 
base of her throat and gently kiss my way down the center of her chest until I 
reach the valley of her breasts. So perfect, so soft, so smooth. Capped with 
stiff pink peaks just anticipating the warmth of my mouth. Not one to deny my 
love anything I slowly take her left nipple between my lips, sucking a bit in 
small intervals. I move my right hand up to firmly cup her right breast, 
alternately tweaking and caressing the nipple. She moans even louder as I 
alternate my mouth from her left breast to her right, replacing my hand with my eager 
mouth and vice versa.

I'm getting overheated myself, and I'm not even halfway there yet. Not 
wanting Willow to release herself without even knowing the full effects of our 
lovemaking, I leave her heaving breasts and lick my way down her taut stomach, 
circling her belly button a few times as I ease the zipper down her jeans. She 
lifts her hips just enough so that I can pull them down her shapely legs, 
sliding them off effortlessly. Leaving her only in her matching silk green 
panties. I can see her obvious excitement through them, and I can feel it as well, 
as my hands travel down, ever so gently teasing her inner thighs with the tips 
of my fingers. Once again goose bumps are left in my wake, anticipating 
what's to come. I move my lips from her belly button down to the inside of her 
knees, licking and kissing my way up the inside of her thighs, cupping her soft 
globes with my right hand in the process, unwilling to leave her breasts 
unattended for long.

I reach inside the elastic of her panties, teasing her by trailing a singular 
finger along the opening of her sex. I ever so slowly, anticipation always 
making the sexiest action even more erotic, slide her damp panties down, over 
her knees and cascading to the floor. If I thought her breasts were perfect, 
her womanhood is even more so. A small patch of russet hair she has neatly 
shaven into almost a perfect triangle, her vaginal lips already swollen and moist 
in desire. The scent of her arousal is intoxicating to say the least. Musky 
but still completely Willow. I continue to tease her swollen lips, making 
feather light strokes up and down her juicy opening. "Oh goddess! Buffy 
please!" 

I've never heard Willow so desperate before. I'm not one to deny her 
anything, but still, I can't stop a bit of my own arousal to seep out and tease her 
just a bit more. "What baby? What do you want?"

"Buffy please! You know!"

Hmm, which to start with, my lips or my fingers. Either way I'm determined 
to make her writhe in ecstasy for as long as possible, keeping her from falling 
over that pleasure precipice. Not that I don't want her to do that, because 
I can't imagine anything more erotic than seeing Willow in the throes of her 
orgasm. But I want to make it last as long as I can for her. And for me as 
well, because making love to her is quickly pushing me towards my own release, 
and I'm still completely clothed. "Willow baby you have to tell me what you 
want. Tell me how to please you." I can't help but tease a bit. Besides, it's 
so hot hearing the way she's panting from my gentle stimulation along her 
soft petal like lips. She's already so wet, her essence coating the tips of my 
fingers where they are beginning to find their way up to her clitoris. I have 
to admit, sex ed was the one class I paid attention to the entire period. And 
I'm very thankful for that now.

"Oh god, your tongue, please Buffy! I need to feel your tongue!" Well my 
girl definitely knows what she wants. Who am I to argue. I take my hand away 
from her breasts reluctantly, enjoying the feel of her stiff nipples against 
the pad of my thumb and forefinger. But the disappointment fades away quickly 
as I realize what's in store for them now. I slide down a bit on the bed to 
have a better angle. I kiss my way up each thigh, alternately licking and 
nipping on my way northward. I take a deep breathe, inhaling the unique fragrance 
that is my Willow. Ever so slowly I trail my tongue up and down her labia, 
using the flat end of it to stimulate her even more. I take both my hands and 
ever so slowly pull her delicate lips apart, revealing the inner pinkness of 
her sex. Her lips are glistening with her excitement. Not wanting to wait any 
longer in finally tasting the essence that is pure Willow, I flatten my tongue 
out and run the entire length of her womanhood, stopping just shy of her 
clit, not wanting to over stimulate her too soon. I use my to tongue to lick 
around everywhere but her now stiffened bud. Up and down her moist opening, 
darting my tongue in and around but never touching her sensitive bundle of nerves 
at the very top. I straighten my tongue, stiffening it in the process and 
ever so slightly dip into her wet canal, tasting the very core of her essence. 
"Mmmmm baby, that feels so good! Don't stop, just don't ever stop!" Well 
seems like I found a technique she's fond of. That didn't take me too long.

I decide it's time to enhance her pleasure, moving my tongue up higher, 
reaching her clitoris, and start teasing it by running small circles around it, 
everything but actually making contact with the bud of nerves itself. "I need to 
feel you inside me Buffy, please! Use your fingers! Ohhh!" I bring my left 
hand up and remove my tongue for a moment. I part her lips and gently slide 
one finger inside her moist cavern, feeling her vaginal walls clamping over my 
digit like a vise. "Oh yeah! Just like that baby!" I start moving my finger 
back and forth, almost pulling it out completely before pushing it back in, 
dragging out the stimulation as long as I can. I move my tongue back to her 
clit, finally latching onto the bud itself, sucking lightly and then stopping, 
circling around it with the flat of my tongue, and then continuing to suck 
again. All the while keeping up my steady rhythm with my finger, deciding to 
chance adding another one into her opening. "Ohhhhhhh!" She must like that, her 
juices flowing even harder now, completely coating my fingers and starting to 
run down my chin where I'm greedily drinking down her essence as fast as she 
releases it. She tastes a bit like strawberries and cream, mixed with the 
natural taste and texture of her juices. I'm positive I could get intoxicated on 
her in a short period of time. In fact I'm starting to near my own release and 
she hasn't even touched me!

"Buffy! Oh god baby, I think I'm so close! Please don't stop.....oh!!!!" I 
continue my oral assault all the while still pumping two fingers into her 
tight channel. I can feel her walls starting to contract over my fingers, she's 
oh so close. I take my tongue and circle it around her clit, before pulling 
it fully into my mouth and sucking as hard and as fast as I can. "Buffy!!!!!! 
I'm.... oh goddess!!!!!!" She clamps down on my fingers, her own hand 
reaching down and pulling my head completely against her sex, burying her fingers in 
my hair, hips lifting off the bed in the throes of her orgasm. Just as I feel 
the flood of her juices hit my tongue I feel myself let go as well, my pants 
dampening immeasurably more with my own release. I never knew that was 
possible, orgasming from just giving pleasure. I guess you just need to be with the 
right person. And Will is most definitely the right person, if there ever 
was one.

I crawl up the length of her body, purposely licking my fingers clean all the 
while staring her directly in the eyes. What? Slayers have a naughty side. 
If Faith taught me anything it certainly was that. Willow smiles a bit, 
almost bordering on a smirk, before opening up her arms for me. I dutifully lay 
down into her embrace, resting my cheek against her still heaving breast, a 
light sheen of perspiration covering her entire body. It's an incredibly sexy 
sight. "God Buffy, where DID you learn that?! That was amazing!" She leans 
down and captures my lips in a very gentle loving kiss. "*You* were amazing."

"I love you Willow." It's as simple as that. I'd do anything for her. From 
risking my life for hers to giving her a mind blowing orgasm. I would do it 
all for her. No questions asked. 

"I love you too Buffy, so much." She snuggles into me, so we're curled up, 
my head on her chest, her head atop my own. I can feel her muscles seem to be 
nothing more than mush, and she's trying desperately not to fall asleep on me. 
I guess she figures that's bad etiquette. Riley did it enough on me. But I 
want her to rest. I can wait.

"You get some rest baby, I'll be right here when you wake up." She struggles 
up a bit and starts to protest.

"But what about you? I want to...." I place a finger over her lips, which she 
softly kisses in return.

"I can wait. Besides, pleasing you was enough for me for now." I blush a 
bit, not sure I want to share everything. "In fact, I came when you did." 

"Really!?" She looks shocked, and I blush even harder.

"Really. So go to sleep for a while, we can continue this later. I still 
have plans for you my sweet witch." I tickle her bare ribs a little, eliciting 
a tired giggle from the woman in my arms.

A few minutes later I can hear the soft even breaths that tell me my love has 
fallen into a contented slumber. It may not have been all candles and rose 
petals. Champagne and an exquisite meal. But it was still perfect. Because 
we were together, and we love each other. And that will always be enough.

Finis.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

["Willow's] bond with Buffy is something I find kind of transcendent. Even 
when they're not getting along at all." - Joss Whedon, 'Innocence' commentary