RE: FIC: For The First Time (NC-17)

["TheBear" <thebear@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

It was beautiful Casandra! Absolutely sweet, loving and sensual. Truly
wonderful.

Of course, you realize that you now have to go back a write a lovely
NC17 Coda to every one of your magnificent B/W fics, right?



TheBear!

thebear@xxxxxxxxxxxxx

http://www.papa-bear.com



-----Original Message-----
From: jeepy91@xxxxxxx [mailto:jeepy91@xxxxxxx] 
Sent: Saturday, June 21, 2003 9:07 PM
To: buffyandwillowslash@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx;
buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx; SapphicSlayer@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: FIC: For The First Time (NC-17)



Ok, well I got talked into this against my better judgment LOL I've
never once written anything remotely graphic. Well that all changed
with this one. 

This is sort of an Epilogue/Sequel to my last B/W fic 'Summer
Confessions'. You probably should be familiar with that one to know the
details behind this, and you can find it at IKOLY or Realm of the
Shadow. 

This is pretty much PWP, in Buffy's POV. And I was beyond nervous about
writing this. Not to mention blushing to the roots of my hair. So
please, do let me know what you think. I want to know just how badly I
botched it up! LOL 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Author: Casandra 
Email: Casandra@xxxxxxxxxxxx 
Date: June 2003 
Disclaimer: I don't own them, which sucks. But oh well. The
characters herein belong to Joss Whedon, ME, and company. 
Rating: NC-17. Shocking coming from me, I know. 
Warning: If two woman being and love and expressing that love is
offensive to you, or you are under the age of 18 and it's illegal, move
someplace where it's not! Otherwise, you better not scroll down any
farther. 
Distribution: You can find most of my work at Realm of the Shadow and
IKOLY. Anyone else who wants it feel free, just please drop me a note
so I know where it's going. 
Feedback: Yes please! And especially on this one, since it's my first
try at something naughty. 
Pairing: Buffy/Willow 
Spoilers: Not really, pretty much PWP, but if you haven't read my Summer
Confessions fic, you might be a bit lost. 
Summary: Picks up at the end of 'Summer Confessions'. So much for
waiting. 
Author's Notes: Well I wasn't going to add onto SC, but I got talked
into writing something a tad bit naughtier than I'm used to writing. I
blushed my way through the entire thing, so I hope its not too bad. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


"So how did it go?" I'm really not sure I want to know. I've been
sitting here in my room for the last three hours wondering if today was
the day my dream finally ended. Tara had come home early from her trip
back east for the summer and I was a nervous wreck. Willow and I have
been together now for almost two months. But we haven't consummated our
relationship yet. I had to go and open my big mouth and tell her we had
to wait. At least until Tara was aware of our coupling. I wouldn't
have felt right making love with Will if she was still technically
Tara's girlfriend. I love Willow so much, I wasn't about to make a
cheater out of her. She already has had to deal with the ramifications
of her illicit smoochies with Xander, and I hated seeing her so pained
by that. I wasn't about to be a party to another heartache for her. 

Even if the last 7 weeks have been a study in torture. We're together
almost all the time now. She sleeps over here more often than not,
we're together almost all day long, and she patrols with me almost every
night. 

And I'm loving it. 

I love having her beside me on a constant basis. I feel secure,
content, and safe. She's home to me. So I'm always home now, because
she's always with me. But it's been so hard resisting the urge to just
ravish her at any given moment of the day. I really don't think she has
any idea the kind of feelings she provokes in me. 

She's a cuddler. So on the nights she spends over she wraps herself
around me like a land bound octopus. And I love having her next to me.
It's the most desirable feeling in the world knowing she trusts me that
much to fall asleep in my arms, secure in the knowledge that I'll
protect her. But my control is starting to slip with each passing
night. I want more than anything to just make love to her right then
and there. Tender sweet love. I'm not into the sex anymore. Riley and
I did enough of that to last me this lifetime and the next. But with
Will it's different. I want to spend hours learning every curve of her
body, every freckle that dots her perfect form. I want my hands to
glide over every inch of her silky skin, memorizing their way from her
shoulders, past her shapely hips, all the way down to her cute little
toes. And then do it all over again. 

But we've been waiting until she can talk with Tara. And I smack myself
quite often because it was my idea in the first place. I can be patient
and I'd wait forever and a day for her, it's just I love Willow so much
that the only way I feel that I can prove just how much is by showing
her physically. But I still can't help but feel a tiny bit insecure
about our relationship. I know she's slept with Tara. They have that
connection that Willow and I don't have yet. And I always have this
nagging fear that she's just been biding her time with me until Tara
gets back. And then she'll leave me to go back to her. I know it's
irrational and completely unfounded. Willow has never given me any
reason whatsoever to doubt her love for me. But every time I have
something good going, something worth holding onto for dear life, I
either let it slip away from me or it gets taken away. And Willow is
the last thing in the world I want to lose. 

I'm drawn out of my dark thoughts when Will plops herself down on my bed
next to me. She immediately curls up against my shoulder and pulls
herself closer by wrapping her left arm around my midsection. Not one
to argue I raise my own arm around to bring her as close as possible. I
idly begin to stroke her hair, trying to coax her into sharing with me
the conversation she had with Tara. I bet it was anything but pleasant.


"It was not fun. In fact it was the antithesis of fun. Nothing but
badness and non-fun." She's pouting, she has her face buried in the
crook of my shoulder, but I can hear it in her voice. "She was crying.
And of course that made me cry. But apparently she knew all along how I
felt about you. And for the longest time she was threatened by you.
But then when you got so wrapped up in Riley she figured that there was
nothing for her to worry about. So she wasn't just upset she was
angry." Well I figured she wouldn't be happy about it. "I think you
better stay away from her for a while. She's not your biggest fan right
now." Great, knowing my luck I'll wake up tomorrow morning covered in
monkey hair or something equally gross. Tara's a nice person though,
underneath all my jealousy of her, she's been good to Willow, and for
that I'll always be grateful to her. She helped pull Will out her funk
after Oz left. Something I wish I could have done. Something I *should*
have done. 

"I'm sorry Will, I know that must have been hard on you." Willow is the
type of person that hates to see anyone in pain. Even people she
doesn't know she has sympathy for. It's one of the things I love most
about her. She's such a caring person. Almost to a fault sometimes.
Because times like this is when she feels it most. When she's the cause
of someone else's hurt. I know she's going to carry guilt about this
with her for quite a while. The best I can do is convince her that she
made the right choice. I place a gentle kiss on her brow, soothingly
rubbing circles around her back trying to settle her nerves a bit. 

"It'll be ok. *I'll* be ok. As long as I still have you." Aww, make
me melt into a puddle of Slayer mush here. She's so sweet and she
doesn't even try to be that way. It's just the way she is. 

"Always. Never doubt that, baby." I love her unconditionally. No
reservations. No hesitations. Holding her like this, loving her. It's
as natural to me as breathing. Nothing can compare to this feeling. 

She's been playing with the hem of my tee-shirt for the last 10 minutes
or so, like she's trying to make up her mind about something. I turn my
head and bury it in the soft silken strands of her auburn hair, content
to just lie here with her in my arms. Just as I'm about to drift off
into a pleasant nap I feel her fingers slide under my shirt and start
inching their way up my sides. "Will, what are you doing?" I think I
have a pretty good idea, but hey, a girl's gotta be sure about things
like this. 

"I love you Buffy. It's time to show you how much I love you." And
with that she brings her head up and snares my lips in the most
passionate kiss we've ever shared. It's full of heat and steam, and
most of all, desire. And I know now that she wants me just as much as I
want her. I never thought that possible. 

I reluctantly pull away from our steamy embrace and cup her cheek in my
palm. Her emerald eyes are glazed over with lust, her want for me
radiating from her flushed face and swollen parted lips. "Are you
sure?" I have to be positive. Because I'd forever regret it if she
wasn't ready. 

She places her hand atop my own that's resting against her face, pulling
me slowly away and in the process taking one of my fingers and ever so
softly sliding it into her mouth, lightly sucking and nipping at the
tip. I think that's the most erotic thing I've ever seen in my entire
life. "I've never been more certain of anything. I want you so much
Buffy." I can hear the desire in her voice, its the deepest I can ever
recall hearing, her tone emphasizing the weeks of waiting that we've
been forced to endure by my own need for things to be perfect. Thank
God my mother decided to go on that three day trip up to San Francisco
for her gallery's acquisitions department. 

The Slayer in me begs to be released from her confines though. I need
to taste my Willow, I need to feel her writhing beneath my touch. I
can't wait any longer. I gently tighten my arms around her and flip
our positions, so now she's under me, helpless to anything I might have
in store for her. Perfect pleasure, the most exquisite torture
imaginable. Driving her to the very edges of her passion and reeling
her back in, making her hold on for as long as possible. Or at least I
hope. I'm new to this. New to making love period, but even newer to
this particular version. But I'll try my damndest to make this the best
first time possible. I have to. Because I can't imagine loving her
anymore than I do right now. I didn't think it was possible to love
someone this much. So much so that it frightens me sometimes. To think
what I would do if she were to leave my life. Willingly or not. It
scares me right down to the very core of my being. 

But none of that matters right now. Because I look down at her angelic
face, sparkling jade eyes staring adoringly back up at me, glazed over
with passion. Her lips slightly parted, her pink tongue darting out,
licking her lips in anticipation. I can't deny her any longer, I can't
deny *myself* any longer. This has been building for almost five years
now. No more waiting. 

I traced my fingertips across her cheek, reveling in the silky smooth
skin under them. Ever so slowly I moved towards her, leaning down and
capturing her lips in a sweet soft embrace. I trailed my tongue against
her bottom lip, requesting entrance into her own wet cavern. She
parted her mouth without hesitation, inviting me in and instantly
seeking my own tongue out. They hugged together, embracing like lovers,
dueling, neither one of us demanding control, just relaxing in the
intimacy of the action. 

As the kiss deepened I let my hands wander from their grasp along her
waist, northward, slowly trailing them up under her shirt, scraping my
fingernails ever so lightly along her overheated skin, leaving fresh
goose bumps in my wake. Without breaking our kiss I blindly searched
for the buttons keeping my eager hands from their desired treasure. I'm
a Slayer, so coordination is something I need to be good at. But I
don't think I've ever been more thankful for it than right now. I
unbutton her top, slowly, teasing her with the promise of more contact.
She shimmies up a bit on my bed, slipping out of the undesired garment,
leaving her laying there with nothing more than her silk green bra from
the waist up. I break away from our overheated kiss for a moment,
completely stunned by the beautiful vision before me. Never in my life
have I witnessed something as perfect as Willow lying under me this very
moment. She's the epitome of everything wonderful in this world, and
I'm speechless that she's mine. My love, my life, and soon, my lover.
Sensing my hesitation, she reaches around behind her and unclasps her
bra, letting the straps slide down her shoulders to reveal the glory of
her breasts. She's just the perfect size. Not small in the least bit,
but not too large. They're perfect, just like the rest of her. 

I place a gentle kiss on her now swollen lips before moving my way down
her jaw. Trailing my tongue down to her pulse point and ever so
delicately nipping. She moans a bit so I know I must be doing something
right. I leave the base of her throat and gently kiss my way down the
center of her chest until I reach the valley of her breasts. So
perfect, so soft, so smooth. Capped with stiff pink peaks just
anticipating the warmth of my mouth. Not one to deny my love anything I
slowly take her left nipple between my lips, sucking a bit in small
intervals. I move my right hand up to firmly cup her right breast,
alternately tweaking and caressing the nipple. She moans even louder as
I alternate my mouth from her left breast to her right, replacing my
hand with my eager mouth and vice versa. 

I'm getting overheated myself, and I'm not even halfway there yet. Not
wanting Willow to release herself without even knowing the full effects
of our lovemaking, I leave her heaving breasts and lick my way down her
taut stomach, circling her belly button a few times as I ease the zipper
down her jeans. She lifts her hips just enough so that I can pull them
down her shapely legs, sliding them off effortlessly. Leaving her only
in her matching silk green panties. I can see her obvious excitement
through them, and I can feel it as well, as my hands travel down, ever
so gently teasing her inner thighs with the tips of my fingers. Once
again goose bumps are left in my wake, anticipating what's to come. I
move my lips from her belly button down to the inside of her knees,
licking and kissing my way up the inside of her thighs, cupping her soft
globes with my right hand in the process, unwilling to leave her breasts
unattended for long. 

I reach inside the elastic of her panties, teasing her by trailing a
singular finger along the opening of her sex. I ever so slowly,
anticipation always making the sexiest action even more erotic, slide
her damp panties down, over her knees and cascading to the floor. If I
thought her breasts were perfect, her womanhood is even more so. A
small patch of russet hair she has neatly shaven into almost a perfect
triangle, her vaginal lips already swollen and moist in desire. The
scent of her arousal is intoxicating to say the least. Musky but still
completely Willow. I continue to tease her swollen lips, making feather
light strokes up and down her juicy opening. "Oh goddess! Buffy
please!" 

I've never heard Willow so desperate before. I'm not one to deny her
anything, but still, I can't stop a bit of my own arousal to seep out
and tease her just a bit more. "What baby? What do you want?" 

"Buffy please! You know!" 

Hmm, which to start with, my lips or my fingers. Either way I'm
determined to make her writhe in ecstasy for as long as possible,
keeping her from falling over that pleasure precipice. Not that I don't
want her to do that, because I can't imagine anything more erotic than
seeing Willow in the throes of her orgasm. But I want to make it last
as long as I can for her. And for me as well, because making love to
her is quickly pushing me towards my own release, and I'm still
completely clothed. "Willow baby you have to tell me what you want.
Tell me how to please you." I can't help but tease a bit. Besides,
it's so hot hearing the way she's panting from my gentle stimulation
along her soft petal like lips. She's already so wet, her essence
coating the tips of my fingers where they are beginning to find their
way up to her clitoris. I have to admit, sex ed was the one class I
paid attention to the entire period. And I'm very thankful for that
now. 

"Oh god, your tongue, please Buffy! I need to feel your tongue!" Well
my girl definitely knows what she wants. Who am I to argue. I take my
hand away from her breasts reluctantly, enjoying the feel of her stiff
nipples against the pad of my thumb and forefinger. But the
disappointment fades away quickly as I realize what's in store for them
now. I slide down a bit on the bed to have a better angle. I kiss my
way up each thigh, alternately licking and nipping on my way northward.
I take a deep breathe, inhaling the unique fragrance that is my Willow.
Ever so slowly I trail my tongue up and down her labia, using the flat
end of it to stimulate her even more. I take both my hands and ever so
slowly pull her delicate lips apart, revealing the inner pinkness of her
sex. Her lips are glistening with her excitement. Not wanting to wait
any longer in finally tasting the essence that is pure Willow, I flatten
my tongue out and run the entire length of her womanhood, stopping just
shy of her clit, not wanting to over stimulate her too soon. I use my
to tongue to lick around everywhere but her now stiffened bud. Up and
down her moist opening, darting my tongue in and around but never
touching her sensitive bundle of nerves at the very top. I straighten
my tongue, stiffening it in the process and ever so slightly dip into
her wet canal, tasting the very core of her essence. "Mmmmm baby, that
feels so good! Don't stop, just don't ever stop!" Well seems like I
found a technique she's fond of. That didn't take me too long. 

I decide it's time to enhance her pleasure, moving my tongue up higher,
reaching her clitoris, and start teasing it by running small circles
around it, everything but actually making contact with the bud of nerves
itself. "I need to feel you inside me Buffy, please! Use your fingers!
Ohhh!" I bring my left hand up and remove my tongue for a moment. I
part her lips and gently slide one finger inside her moist cavern,
feeling her vaginal walls clamping over my digit like a vise. "Oh yeah!
Just like that baby!" I start moving my finger back and forth, almost
pulling it out completely before pushing it back in, dragging out the
stimulation as long as I can. I move my tongue back to her clit,
finally latching onto the bud itself, sucking lightly and then stopping,
circling around it with the flat of my tongue, and then continuing to
suck again. All the while keeping up my steady rhythm with my finger,
deciding to chance adding another one into her opening. "Ohhhhhhh!" She
must like that, her juices flowing even harder now, completely coating
my fingers and starting to run down my chin where I'm greedily drinking
down her essence as fast as she releases it. She tastes a bit like
strawberries and cream, mixed with the natural taste and texture of her
juices. I'm positive I could get intoxicated on her in a short period
of time. In fact I'm starting to near my own release and she hasn't
even touched me! 

"Buffy! Oh god baby, I think I'm so close! Please don't
stop.....oh!!!!" I continue my oral assault all the while still pumping
two fingers into her tight channel. I can feel her walls starting to
contract over my fingers, she's oh so close. I take my tongue and
circle it around her clit, before pulling it fully into my mouth and
sucking as hard and as fast as I can. "Buffy!!!!!! I'm.... oh
goddess!!!!!!" She clamps down on my fingers, her own hand reaching
down and pulling my head completely against her sex, burying her fingers
in my hair, hips lifting off the bed in the throes of her orgasm. Just
as I feel the flood of her juices hit my tongue I feel myself let go as
well, my pants dampening immeasurably more with my own release. I never
knew that was possible, orgasming from just giving pleasure. I guess
you just need to be with the right person. And Will is most definitely
the right person, if there ever was one. 

I crawl up the length of her body, purposely licking my fingers clean
all the while staring her directly in the eyes. What? Slayers have a
naughty side. If Faith taught me anything it certainly was that.
Willow smiles a bit, almost bordering on a smirk, before opening up her
arms for me. I dutifully lay down into her embrace, resting my cheek
against her still heaving breast, a light sheen of perspiration covering
her entire body. It's an incredibly sexy sight. "God Buffy, where DID
you learn that?! That was amazing!" She leans down and captures my
lips in a very gentle loving kiss. "*You* were amazing." 

"I love you Willow." It's as simple as that. I'd do anything for her.
>From risking my life for hers to giving her a mind blowing orgasm. I
would do it all for her. No questions asked. 

"I love you too Buffy, so much." She snuggles into me, so we're curled
up, my head on her chest, her head atop my own. I can feel her muscles
seem to be nothing more than mush, and she's trying desperately not to
fall asleep on me. I guess she figures that's bad etiquette. Riley did
it enough on me. But I want her to rest. I can wait. 

"You get some rest baby, I'll be right here when you wake up." She
struggles up a bit and starts to protest. 

"But what about you? I want to...." I place a finger over her lips,
which she softly kisses in return. 

"I can wait. Besides, pleasing you was enough for me for now." I blush
a bit, not sure I want to share everything. "In fact, I came when you
did." 

"Really!?" She looks shocked, and I blush even harder. 

"Really. So go to sleep for a while, we can continue this later. I
still have plans for you my sweet witch." I tickle her bare ribs a
little, eliciting a tired giggle from the woman in my arms. 

A few minutes later I can hear the soft even breaths that tell me my
love has fallen into a contented slumber. It may not have been all
candles and rose petals. Champagne and an exquisite meal. But it was
still perfect. Because we were together, and we love each other. And
that will always be enough. 

Finis. 


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ 
["Willow's] bond with Buffy is something I find kind of transcendent.
Even when they're not getting along at all." - Joss Whedon, 'Innocence'
commentary 




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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy: "I kinda love you."
-'Choices'

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