hello all,i was at first not going to respond to this thread b/c i generally don't get involved in the debates/discussions on the this list... but this time i thought i'd add my nickel and dime to the pile...
i know that some ppl don't think that men can, or should write lesbian sex scenes. and their opinions are theirs and good on 'em for expressing them. but, when it comes to matters of writing - one must remember that fiction involves a bit of imagination - that not everyone, male or female, writes strictly from experience, nor must they be what the character is, to make the story/scene convincing. i dread to think how of how many ppl on this list have actually committed murder, or killed a demon, or fucked one for that matter... yet we write about it. men, while not ever likely to experience sex as a woman with another woman, can pull off a well written, believable, and i dare say, sexy as hell, lesbian sex scene based on their own knowledge of a woman's sexuality - her anatomy, her erogenous zones, her reactions, etc.. a woman's response to certain sensations and the situation as a whole is not cleanly divided between a 'lesbian' experience and a 'heterosexual' experience... but rather, a woman experiencing arousal, pleasure, a connection with her partner - female or male. its one person experiencing another... and a good writer will be able to take his/her knowledge and imagination and make it work for his characters, even if its a male writing two lesbians.
in point of fact, several of my favorite fanfic authors are male... and they write some damn good, believable sex scenes.
as a lesbian, female writer who's hidden her own personality a bit under the name of Red Willow, i too have experienced the random email asking if i was a man... b/c the scenes i tend to write aren't sensual enough for them... involve too much hardcore fucking. on the other hand, i've gotten an email or two that have said its obvious i'm a woman b/c of how i write the sex. do women write better lesbian sex scenes than men? some do. but definitely not all. just like some ppl write better action scenes than others (i would be one of those ppl who can't write an action sequence to save her life) and some ppl write great dialogue, while some... well, just plain suck.
there's a lot of fanfic out there for the women of BtVS... a lot of it is really, really great stuff - written by men and women alike... and i think that its unfair to ask a male not to write b/w or b/f or w/t, etc., based on his genitalia and lack of experience. i happen to know a 27 yo virgin who's never had sex with with a man or a woman... but some of the things she comes up with - wow... you'd think she was *very* experienced. and i wonder if this 'please don't write if you don't know' applies to heterosexual women writing femslash as well. b/c let me tell ya... there are a few female writers i've ran into that have surprised the hell outta me by telling me they were straight.
it all comes down to the writer and whether or not they are good at weaving the story, the dialogue, the interaction, and yes, the sex scenes, around the characters. in my opinion, it depends little on gender and experience.
perhaps if one reads a fanfic by a male that doesn't appeal to them, where the sex scenes just don't cut it... they should just toss that writer in the 'don't like' pile and move on to the next. there's plenty of great fanfic out there to be read....
RW"What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like beautiful music." -Soren Kierkegaard
"i believe baby dolls should have realistic clits so baby dykes can start getting used to it!" -Alix Olson
-----Original Message----- From: maría virginia [mailto:virginia2k_15@xxxxxxxxx] Sent: Friday, June 27, 2003 8:23 AM To: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Subject: ~Buffy*Wants*Willow~ Re: Something I've noticed. Hey don't want to be rude but...[and, in those interests, a very brief edit?Dan] ...im sorry but i kind of find your message very deffensive, i mean im not saying that all the fanfics are bad or stuff like that, im just saying something i noticed not only in here, i've read fanfics since i was 12 (note: and im 18) and this is something i've noticed like ALWAYS! and i was trying to find out if i was the only one to noticed it...and for me fanfics are part of the imagination, and a big start for really good writers, but when it comes to a general and real thing like it is the art of making love, you should know what you are getting into, cause if you know how to write not only that part but the others very well then your story will be EXCELLENT! and it'll help you, it's like talking about something on the tv and not having a clue what are you talking about, how can you espect everyone to understand what are you trying to say? well, just read, watch and learn about it and THEN, YOU CAN TALK! that's it....and once again sorry the grammar in case i have mistakes!!!....bye!
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