Re: FIC: Tonight and the Rest of My Life 1/?

[charlene25@xxxxxxxxxxx]

Great start. 
I really liked it. I hope we don't have to wait too long for the next part.


Char


----- Original Message ----- 
From: jeepy91@xxxxxxx 
To: buffyandwillowslash@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ; buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ; buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ; SapphicSlayer@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 5:54 AM
Subject: FIC: Tonight and the Rest of My Life 1/?


Hey gang. 

This is my contribution into the post series finale genre. Only the first part, and honestly, I'm not real sure about posting it. I'm a little undecided on where I want it to end up. I have some ideas, just can't seem tosettle on one though. 

Anyway, definitely not anywhere up to spec like Kirayoshi's 'Chosen' fic,but I thought I'd give it a shot anyway. Please do let me know what you think. 

~~~~~~ 

Author: Casandra 
Email: rozwellrulz@xxxxxxx Since my Fanforum account isn't working at the moment. 
Disclaimer: Well even though the show isn't still in its firstrun, syndication will probably go on for eons, so I guess all this isstill necessary. I of course don't own them, because if I did, thingswould have been a lot more on the slashy side of things. Alas, MutantEnemy, Fox and Joss don't seem to think the way I do. Oh well. 
Rating: PG-13 for now, just for the slash content. Minorswearing might bein here too, so be forewarned. I've been consideringgiving something a bitmore naughty a try again, and if I do I'll givesufficient warning. 
Warning: If the thought of woman in love and having arelationship bothersyou, you better tear your eyes away quickly,because that's all you'll findin my fanfics. 
Distribution: You can find my work at Realm of The Shadow(www.realmoftheshadow.com), Near Her Always (www.nearheralways.com) andI Kind of Love You as well. Anybody else, you're welcome to it, justplease let me know where it's going. 
Feedback: I, like every other author, adores it. So if you likemy work, please drop me a line and let me know. It'd be muchappreciated. 
Spoilers: I have this tendency to reference just about anything.So if youhaven't seen all 7 seasons and all 144 episodes, you mightuse caution in reading this. Not saying I WILL reference something, butI just might, so be aware. 
Pairing: Buffy/Willow. But also probably a smidge ofWillow/Kennedy too. Actually, I might have some Dawn/Faith in here aswell, maybe as a backdrop couple. Who knows, I think I'm just making itup as I go along.. I'm such a UC ship ho! Might as well go for thegusto LOL 
Summary: Post series finale. At least 6 months down the road,where the remaining Scooby gang is, where they're headed, are theytogether? Willow has to make another life changing decision, veryreminiscent of her decision to stay in SunnyD back in 'Choices'. 
Author's Note: Ok, I haven't written anything significant sinceSummer Confessions, and that one I started during the Summer of 2002.It's now June 2003 as I start this. So I am probably very rusty when itcomes to fiction. All I've been writing is term papers for the lastnine months. But I'm going to try my best here and see what I can comeup with. It's also going to be mostly in Buffy's POV. I might switchover to Willow at some point, not sure yet. We'll see what happens Iguess. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It's ironic. 

I've spent my entire adult life resenting the destiny that was thrustintomy lap, always feeling obligated to it, trapped by it, scared ofit. And now that I don't have the weight of the world on my shouldersalone anymore, Ifeel incomplete somehow. I suppose I had just gottenso used to the fact that I alone was the person responsible for savingthe world time and again, that now that the responsibility has beenlifted from me, I almost miss it. That goes to show you just how messedup in the head I've become over the last seven or so years. The problemI'm having is, if I'm not THE Slayer anymore, who am I? I've definedmyself solely on my mystical superstrength for as long as I canremember now. And even though yes, I do still have the same skills andabilities I've had since becoming a Slayer, I'm no longer the only one.I had enough trouble accepting Kendra, and later on Faith, beingaround.But I could chalk them both up to a small glitch in the Slayersystem. After all, if I hadn't gone down to fight the Master, it neverwould have happened. But even after I had been dead set against neverstaking another vampireagain, one look at Willow's tearstained faceand I knew I couldn't fight mydestiny. Because if I did I wouldn't beable to protect anybody from the harsh evils of the world. And moreimportantly, I would have been letting Willow fend for herself in thatkind of violent atmosphere. There was just no way I was about to letthat happen if I had it in my power to do something about it. Death bedamned. If that's what happened, so be it. If I could take the Masterout in the process, thus keeping everyone safe, most importantlyWillow, than that was a chance I was willing to take. 

But I digress.   

So now I'm not THE Slayer anymore, I'm just ASlayer. Which technically I suppose is really the same thing. And Iguess it might just be my over-inflated ego of seven years talking, butit really is bothering me. I would have thought I'd be hanging from therafters in celebration if I ever got the chance to have a 'normal'life. But now, I'm starting to wonder, what's so great about normalanyway? The only normal friend I have anymore is Xander, and look whatbeing normal got him. Or maybe it's more the fact that he's my friendthat got him the pirate look permanently. 

And the worst thing about ALL of this? I'm not Willow's Slayer anymore.Nope, the spell I insisted she do, the one that was my idea, took heraway from me. If I'm really honest with myself, I had left Willow'sside long beforethe spell, from my own free choice. At first I wasangry at her, so incredibly angry, for ripping me away from eternalpeace. I just couldn't get past the anger and hurt that the one personI relied on to always do the right thing screwed up. Yep, me, the queenof accidental mistakes condemned my very best friend because she didit. Once. 

How much of a bitch am I?   

She stood by me through everything, and she happens to make a mistakeone time, and I drop her as quick as I possibly can. Of course we neveronce talked about the fact that we were best friends in name only forthe past two years now. Me? Talk about a personal problem? 

Get real. 

And it was that much worse because I didn't even bother to allow myselftoworry about what my solitude was doing to her. I had Spike to keepme busy,what did I care? Willow had Xander, and even if they weren'ttogether anymore, she still had Tara's love. She didn't need or wantmine I assumed. Well you know what they say about assuming something.It makes an ass out of both'u' and 'me'. Yeah, lame joke I know, Ihave no idea who came up with that one to begin with. But surprisinglyit fits perfectly for what happened the last two years. Maybe if Iwould have been paying even a small amount of attention to her, thingswouldn't have ended up the way they have. 

Tara might still be alive. Willow more than likely wouldn't have had tohit absolutely rock bottom before becoming the goddess of purebenevolent magic that I always envisioned her to be. And then again,maybe I'm giving myself too much credit. She might have had to gothrough all those things she did, without me, to make her theincredible person she's become now. Not that she wasn't alwaysincredible, I knew there was something magical about her from the veryfirst time I laid eyes on my adorable witch. Of course she wasn't awitch then, oh no, she started practicing the dark arts for the solepurpose of helping me in my fight against the hellmouth. 

So again, it all comes back to her association with me. 

But now she's not even MY witch anymore, the same way I'm not HERSlayer either. Because now there's Kennedy. She's taken my place inWillow's life. ALL my places actually. She's her own personalSlayer/Best Friend/Girlfriend in one nice nifty package. Of course I'vealways only filled two of those three slots. But I've always wondered,and maybe even hoped, that we could go three for three someday. I maynot have outwardly showed it the last few years, but it's always beenin the back of my mind. Even when I was with my significant others.Even when I was ignoring her. It's always been there. And yeah, I'lleven admit that Kennedy is cute. But that tongue ring comment, grr, Icould have spit nails. But of course, mind on the mission, I had tofocus, like always. Jealousy does not play a good part when it comes toaverting yet another apocolypse. 

I've always been a tad bit jealous when Willow was in a relationship.But never more so than now. Maybe it's because I don't like Kennedy, ormaybe I feel even more threatened because I'm free and clear to make mymove and once again, someone is in my way. The again, it could be thefact that Kennedy is a Slayer as well, so I know that it's not aput-off to Will when it comesto being romantically involved withsomeone. Of course it's more than likely the fact that I haven't seenWillow so outwardly affectionate with anybodylike she is with Kennedy.They're constantly cuddling, or smooching to their heart's content. 

In front of all of us. In front of me. 

I'm really shocked at the self control I've shown. I haven't physicallyremoved Kennedy's lips from Willow's yet, so that's a good sign I hope. 

For the last five months or so all of us surviving Scooby members, witha few extra new club members added on, have been holed up inside whatused to be an abandoned warehouse right outside of Cleveland. Somehow,and honestly I don't think I want to really know, Giles got the leasefree and clear. Within three days of arriving here he had the placecleaned out. And in anotherweek or so it was habitable, and veryhabitable at that. There's about 8 or10 of us here on any given day,and it doesn't get crowded at all. We all have our own living areas,nicely decorated for the most part. And 8 bathrooms to split between usall. Certainly not a bad setup in the least bit considering the sharingthat we all had to do back at my house during the height of thepotentials' invasion. I still can't believe an old run down warehousecould be spiffed up to be so nice in such a short period of time. Notthat I'm complaining at all, really. It's just I do worry sometimes HOWwe ended upwith such nice digs. Giles year long siesta in England musthave either been very profitable, or he managed to snag back most ofhis connections that he had before he met me. And with the Watcher'sCouncil for the most part non-existant, I wonder who's paying the billsnow. Did they have a secret stashhidden somewhere that wasn't blown upby preacher boy? 

In any case, no matter who is paying the bill for our swanky new livingarea, its nice to not have to be the sole supporter. Although most ofthe gangwasn't in favor of mooching off of whoever is our secretbenefactor. 

Almost as soon as we set up Slayer central here, Xander went out jobhunting. Apparently Cleveland is having a big real estate boom at themoment and is in dire need of construction workers. I think it helpshim grieve for Anya by having a nine to five job again. I've never seenXander as quiet as he was on the trip cross country. I know he stillloved Anya intensely. And I have to wonder if it made it worse orbetter them never marrying last year. He refuses to talk about her,mourning in his own private way. And me being the queen of solitude, Ican understand that. I miss her too actually. We might not have alwaysgotten along, and I did try and kill demon Anya, but I did consider hera friend, her human self at least. And she died fighting a battle meantfor me alone. And considering I have a guilt complex a mile long,besides feeling sad for the loss of my friend, I have guilt for it too.But she made her choice to fight, and in the long run, I think she knewshe was doing the right thing, fighting the right battles, on the rightside. 

Surprisingly, Faith is still hanging around here with us. I'm notexactly sure how I feel about that. I'm over my anger at her foreverything she's done in the last few years. I can see the changes inher. She's not the same hotheaded kid that we all met in Sunnydale 4years ago. She's more grounded, more focused. And she cares about morethan herself. It's a rather shocking change to believe, but I see it,and I believe it. We're still not friends, we tolerate each other, wework together, but we're not to the point yet where we can really callourselves buddies. But I think eventually we'll get there. I'm happyfor her, she seems more at peace with herself than she was. She takesan active role in everything that we do around here. She even gotherself a job as a bouncer at one of the local nightclubs. Can't saythat lineof work surprises me, even if it is at a gay nightclub. Faithnever did 'out' herself, but it's safe to say that Willow is not theonly sometimes Sapphic member of the gang. Not that it bothers me ofcourse, considering I'm having tendencies towards the ancient Greekpoet side of things lately. Or maybe not so lately as the case reallyis. I know the Xena reruns aren't helpingto take my mind off of it.But I swear, if Faith brings Dawn home one more time from those under21 parties they have at the club, I'm going to seriously reconsider thefriends idea. 

Of course blaming Faith for being responsible and actually watching outfor Dawn is kind of ridiculous, even I admit that. But it's one of myissues, because I'm beginning to think that all of us girls are givingthe lesbian life a try. I don't doubt that Dawn goes to see Faith atwork. They've becomevery tight lately. And as much as it would havebothered me before, Faith DOES look out for her like no one else. Andthat's saying quite a bit considering what all of us have gone throughto look out for Dawn in the last few years. My problem is if Faith*isn't* the reason Dawnie is going to that particular club. I reallydon't mind if she is indeed inclined that way, hell, if she's made frommy blood, it actually makes quite a bit of sense. But I don't want herthinking she can't talk to me about it. I guess that's another thing Ihave to schedule in, a heart to heart with my little sister about hersexual preference. That should be fun. 

I wouldn't dream of asking Giles to sit in on that one. And even if Iwanted to, I couldn't. About a month after getting us all settled inhere he took off back to England. I think he's in Bath this time,wherever that is. He didn't really go into a lot of detail about why,but I figure it has something to do with corralling all the other newSlayers that'll be popping up in the next few months. Willow getsemails from him on occasion. Which is rather shocking, I didn't knowGiles went hi-tech, let alone knew how to go aboutsending email. Hell,it took Willow how many hours to teach me how to instant message andemail people using her laptop. And I'm not nearly as technophobic asGiles. Of course he's changed quite a bit in the last few years sincehe's been back on his native soil. Always surprising me with the thingshe says and does when he's around. I'm still not sure whether I likethat or not. But I do find myself missing the old Giles, the stuffylibrarian Giles that we all loved to tease about his affinity for tweedeverything. 

For example, Robin going to England with Giles. That I didn't seecoming at all. Going from mild mannered high school principal to Slayercommand. Sure, he has it in his blood, but I thought for sure he'dreturn to his educational ways. I guess he liked the demon huntingbusiness. It's good that Gileshas a partner over there though, makesme worry less about him being all byhimself. Of course it gives myoveractive imagination way too many visuals that I could really dowithout. Ewww isn't a strong enough term in the leastbit! 

Hmm, Willow should have been home by now. She said that she was onlygoingto be about an hour at the Best Buy up the street, and it'salready going on two. Will's been all cybery again since we gotsettled. She's been constructing databases using her cyber and wiccanskills to help the Slayers decidewhere they want to go based on themost demony activity she can sense.. Allbut three of them have headedoff on their own, making a new life for themselves with their newpowers. Of course Kennedy is still here. Willow's stillhere, whichmeans there'll be no getting rid of Kennedy either. She's a goodSlayer, she patrols every night, and has a part time job at one of thekarate centers downtown. But she's constantly around whenever Willowis, so I never get any time alone with my best friend.. It's ironicthat now that I want to be with Willow, someone else is constantly inthe way. Figures that's just my luck. That's the reason I wish Willwould hurry her butt up. I have the day off from my classes at thepolice academy and I know Kennedy is goingout with Vi and Ronatonight. So I figured I could have Willow all to myself. I know I won'tmake a move on her, because even though Kennedy and I aren't the bestof friends by any means, I still respect the fact that Willow IShergirlfriend. 

Willow and I have been much better in the last few months. And for thatI'm eternally grateful. In fact it was her idea that I join theCleveland police department. Honestly, I never would have thought aboutit. But with my strength, speed and agility, not to mention myrecuperative powers, it makes perfect sense. And as much as I wasenjoying the guidance counselor gig, there's no way in hell I was goingto be able to get another job like that without a college degree ofsome kind. And that was definitely lacking with the turmoil of the lastcouple of years. So when Willow suggested that I attempt to be a policeofficer, I admitted to her, and to myself, that it seemed to be theperfect line of work. Of course there was the pesky problem of my priorwarrants for murder back during the summer of 1998, but Willow was allup for taking care of that minor detail. It turns out she didn't haveto. When Sunnydale went kaboom, all their records went with it. Alllocal registries were wiped out, including my criminal record. Which isfine by me, once lessproblem to worry about coming back and biting mein the ass sometime in thefuture. So for the last month I've beenstudying at the academy to become aspecialist in combative situations.That's what Willow calls it at least. Personally I think the captain ofthe academy just thinks he can eventually break me by giving me themost physically demanding challenges he can think of. But I haven'tfailed one yet, so that must mean something. I just wonder where theforce is going to put me if and when I graduate. 

"Hey Buff, you still around?" How is it that I didn't even hear her comein? The doors to this place are anything but quiet. 

"In here Will!" I call out to her from my reclining position on my bed.Deep thoughts require nice cozy bed goodness. Otherwise it gives me aheadache. 

"Tell me you didn't go back to sleep after I left." Willow plopsherself down on the foot of my bed and reclines herself lengthwiseacross the bottom,the hand she's not using to prop her head up onabsently playing with the laces of my tennis shoes. 

"Nope, just thinking. You know me, gotta be comfy lest the smoke startcoming out of my ears." I casually picked up one of the smaller pillowson my bed and toss it at her head. I'm careful not to throw it too hardthough. Ever since that night a short time after I moved to Sunnydale.Willow was over at my house trying to get me caught up on a few historyassignments, so we were both sprawled out on my bed. I was too busy*not* paying any attention to what George Washington apparently didwith his troops in Concord during the Revolution. Before I knew whatwas happening I was eating feathers from the pillow Will had tossed atme. I wasn't going to let her have the last word, or in that case, theonly one, so I grabbed the offending pillow and launched it back at her. 

I forgot about Slayer strength and all that. Because the next thing Iremember, Willow is sprawled flat on her back on the floor, my tossknocking herclear off the bed. She had the most dazed expression and Iwas sure that I had given her a concussion or something equallytraumatic. I was scared to death. Here I had just made a really goodfriend, not to mention she was cuteas all get out. And I had to go andruin it because of stupid Slayer powers. Midway through my spazzout Irealized that she was laughing. Full throatedgiggles. And I knew thateverything was going to be ok. But ever since thenI'm very carefulwhen we get into a pillow fight. 

"So what took you so long? I thought you just had to grab somekind of thingie for your laptop. You weren't flirting with that cellphone tech again were you?" She blushes and I realize that she probablythinks I'll never let that one go. She's probably right. 

It was a one time thing. Kennedy was on patrol and Willow needed to goandget an adapter for her printer. Me being the over protective bestfriend that I have been lately, insisted that she didn't walk alone tothe store. Long story short, the girl behind the cell phone counterstarted hitting on Willow while I was looking at cover plates for myNokia. Will, still sometimes a shy insecure woman, casually flirtedback, but nothing compared to how blatant the sales girl was being. Iof course was practically foaming at the mouth watching the girl'sdisplay. So as soon as I found an opening I linked my arm throughWillow's and drug her off to her adapters, leaving a very petulantlooking Best Buy employee behind. 

"Actually I was with Kennedy." She looks a tad bit guilty for somereason as she looks down and starts playing with an imaginary piece offuzz on my bedspread. I thought Kennedy was going out with the othergirls tonight? 

"Oh, I thought she had other plans?" Yep, that sounds good Buff, justinquisitive, not jealous in the least bit. Not like you were anxiouslywaiting for Willow to get home so you could take her out to that bar ofFaith's and maybe, just maybe, get her to dance her ass off with you. 


"She did, well she does, I mean she just grabbed me before she headedout with Rona and Vi. Of course not that kind of grab you know, becausewe were in a public store and all, but I mean, we just talked. Andthat's why I was late." Oh that can't be good. I haven't heard herbabble like that in a longtime. And her babbles generally only kick inwhen she's nervous or guilty about something. Either one usually is notthat pleasant a reason. So something has to be up. 

"Is everything ok? I mean it wasn't anything demony was it?" Right,because that would be a hell of a lot easier to deal with thansomething relationshippy. 

"No, not really. Nothing you need to worry about Buff." She plasters onone of her fake smiles, the kind that tell me something is certainlynot rightin Willow world. But it's also a sign that she's not ready totalk about itjust yet. So I'll let it go. For now at least. 

Might as well try and cheer her up. And if we happen to end up havingnaughty friction as a result of her frown upside downing, so be it!"Ok, well ifyou're sure?" 

"I'm positive" 

"Well then, since Kennedy is out with the other girls, I thought maybeyouand I could do something? It seems like forever since it's justbeen the two of us hanging out." And it really has been. I missBronzing with Willow and Xander. Of course that was never the two ofus, but still, we were together. The three musketeers. It hasn't beenlike that for a long while now. 

A brilliant smile, this time completely genuine, lights up her face. Itmakes me feel like melting into a puddle of Slayer goo right on thespot. "That sounds great Buffy! And I know what you mean, it's been waytoo long sinceit was just you and me." She sighs a bit and the smilefalters just a tad. And I wonder if she missed it just as much as Ihave. "So what did you have in mind?" 

I'm trying so hard to hold the mischievous expression from crossing myface. What do I have in mind? I can only begin to imagine thepossibilities of going to Club Olympus and dancing the night away withmy favorite red headedgoddess. But I wonder if she'll go for it. "Wellit's a surprise, but I think it's a place you'll like." Yep, Will is abig fan of Faith's place of employment. For obvious reasons. "So, grabyour jacket and lets motor." It's actually not that far from our place,a few blocks maybe, but hey, I'm trying to make this as date-ish aspossible, so we can't be walking when there is acar at my disposal.Another perk Giles refused to disclose about. But again, notcomplaining. A nice shiny purple Mustang is not something I'm going toargue with Giles about. If he wants to give his Slayer expensive fastpresents, well then that's his perogative. 

"Come on Buffy, don't be a hold out, just tell me!" Oh there is nothinginthis world that can crumble my willpower like a Willow Pout. Shelooks downright adorable. And that's putting it mildly. I always cave.Always. 

"Willow, don't be like that. You know I can never resist it when youturn up the Willow charm." Ok why did I say that!? The Willow Charm? Imean sure she has it. In spades. Spades upon spades. But she so doesNOT need to know what effect said spades of charm has on this Slayer.No siree. 

"Ok fine, but let it be stated that I do this under major grumblegrumbles. You know how I hate surprises." She grabs her leather jacketoff the coat rack at the front door, mumbling all the while aboutSlayer's and their secrets. It's not so much that she hates surprises,it's that she has zero patience when it comes to things like this. Iswear she's still that 16 year old kid that thought Slayer T-Shirtswould be cool. But it makes me love her allthe more. Knowing thatshe's still essentially the same person deep down that I met all thoseyears ago. Even after all the hell she has gone through because shechose to fight alongside me. If there is a God out there, I give mythanks a thousand times over for that. 

As soon as we start heading for my car, instead of the opposite waydown the alley that leads to the main street, Willow grabs my arm andsnaps me around to face her. The expression on her face is priceless. 

"Buffy, I am NOT getting in that car with you! Never again!" 

Now, it wasn't all that bad. So I decided to see just how fast my newlittle sports car could go. And just how well she cornered. How was Isupposed to know that it was trash day on the west side of the city.Besides, I mean that trash collection guy really shouldn't have beenhanging off the side of the truck like that. The near miss TWOmonths ago is still apparently fresh in my best friend's mind though.She looks terrified! I try to reason with her though, because really,driving with me is not all THAT bad. "Will, you want to get where we'regoing don't you? I don't think you want to spend our girls night out ina yucky alley do you?" Logic, that is always the way to go with a brainlike Willow's. 

"And just why can't we walk? It's not that far is it?" Ok, well apparently I didn't look at all thelogical points. So now, big question. Do I lie and say, yes it is toofar. Or do I concede where we're going, ruin the surprise, and have hertalk me into walking there, thus blowing the entire date like principleof driving in the first place. Gah! I'm having way too many complexthoughts. I'm getting a headache and that is not in the plans fortonight. There can be no bumping and grinding with Willow if I'mpopping Advil's at the bar all night long. 

I wonder if guilt tripping her and using the utter truth disguised as aploy to get my way will work? Doesn't hurt to try at this point. I takeboth her hands in my own, for a moment enraptured with how soft theyfeel against my own callused palms. I had almost forgotten what is waslike to hold handswith Willow. I don't think we've done this sincethat day I helped her meditate and heal her stomach. God, that was ayear ago! I shake myself out of my reverie and look up earnestly intoher confused emerald gaze. "Will, do you honestly think I would doanything to put your life at risk? Do anything that would hurt you?"And seriously, that's the last thing in the world I would dream ofdoing. She's far too important to me. We've survived 7 years on top ofa portal to hell. There is no way I'm losing her to a stupid caraccident, and especially not one of my own doing. 

I see her contemplating my statement, her eyes softening and a smallsmiletouches her lips. She squeezes our joined hands tighter andstarts pulling me towards my car. I guess that's my answer. She doesknow. 

"You just better hope that I like this surprise of yours Buff." Sheteasesme as I close the car door behind her, quickly moving around tothe driversside and slipping into the soft leather seat. 

"Oh you'll like, I'm sure of it." It's just what I have planned for her that I'm not positive she'll be receptive to. 

TBC 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ 
["Willow's] bond with Buffy is something I find kind of transcendent. Even when they're not getting along at all." - Joss Whedon, 'Innocence' commentary 
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Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy: "I kinda love you."
-'Choices'

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