Outback and Gutter Report for July via Swamp HQ

[GHRDR <ghrdr@xxxxxxxxx>]

To: All Interested Parties
From: Swamp Headquarters
Re: The End of the Month Woods Outback and Gutter
Report for July 


Item One..
The Furry Little Mischief Maker has gone missing.
Reports state that she was kidnapped by both the Evil
Adults and Real Life. All of Shadow?s regular haunts
have been checked. This means Joyce-Mom?s shoulder,
the Hacker?s lap (which was checked by the Golden
Slayer for hours), and Cordelia?s converted inbox. We
have dispatched a recovery team to her last known
location and if you see a furry bat in a leather
helmet and jacket attached to a jet engine... Duck!

A.) Due to Shadow?s absence the Vampire Tomatoes are
swelling in numbers. All residents are asked to eat
Italian meals at least twice a week until further
notice.


Item Two..
It has come to our attention that Dan ?The Man?
Spector was seen doing his ?Hula Girl? imitation at
the beginning of the Annual Talent Show. Normally this
is not a problem.. when it?s at the end of the show.
The reason we always stick his act at the end is so
that the audience is plastered on the Jungle Juice we
sell them and they think its funny. But because of the
scheduling error they viewed this horror-filled sight
fully sober. Not good.. we lost the revenue from the
juice sales.


Item Three..
Tater, will you please go check on the Demonic
Cabbages. They have been *way* too quiet lately. The
last time they was this quiet over half of them was
depressed to the point of ritual suicide. If you
remember the last time they did it they drowned their
sorrows with a jar of mayonnaise each and then jumped
into the blender they had set-up in the Gutter
offices. Shadow and me are still finding coleslaw in
the corners.

Item Four..
Good news and Bad news... The ?Good News? is that
Bill Gopher is no longer showing the pictures of his
cubs from his wallet that he carried in a backpack.
Now for the ?Bad News?... The Gopher has obtained a
slide projector, a mobile screen, and a CD player. He
has constructed a documentary titled ?My Two Cubs: The
Years Before Their Sister?s Arrival?. Now for the
really ?Bad News?... He wants to show it to everyone.
Dawnie and me could only take about ten minutes of it
before I chomped the chains holding us to our chairs
and we made a break for it. New rule... see Gopher and
run.... 

A.) Btw, congrats Gopher and Rose


We now return you to your regularly scheduled
fics..... 

=====
Ghrdr
Lurking Gator, Mad Torturer...1st Class, C-I-C of the Viking Pigs, Arch Duke of Hell(in training)

There can be no great genius without a touch of madness, in my case I'm a bit more touched...

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