OLDFIC: Lameness That Cares

["cdreramius" <o163210@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

TITLE: Lameness That Cares
AUTHOR: Tony McD
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 
Joss, WB, Mutant Enemy and others own them. This is for fun and not 
profit.
SUMMARY: This is a short story. Too short for a summary. Just read it.
SPOILERS: Up to end of season 4
DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere just let me know.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Buffy could be in trouble." Xander
"And, what, exactly, are you going to do about it if she is? If you 
haven't noticed - you're the lameness. She's the superchick or 
whatever." Cordelia
"At least I'm lameness that cares." Xander
"What's My Line, Part 1"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Buffy woke with a start, her heart pounding. She looked around Giles' 
apartment seeing only Willow curled up in a cute ball beside her on 
the sofa. Giles and Xander were nowhere to be seen. Leaping up to her 
feet she knocked Willow to the floor and rushed up to Giles room 
yelling.

"Giles! Xander! Wake up!" she yelled. The door to Giles' room opened 
to reveal a sleepy and somewhat confused watcher.

"What is it?" Giles asked

"I just had a dream that someone or something is doing some heavy 
magic at the Hellmouth right now! I think they could be trying to 
open it!"

Giles instantly became fully awake. He'd learned to trust her dreams.

"You, Willow and Xander get supplies together. I'll get dressed and 
we'll go." he said in a business like manner. Buffy raced to the 
spare room to get Xander. Banging on the door she yelled out to 
Xander. No response. She opened the door. The bed was not slept in 
and there was no sign of Xander. She yelled to Willow.

"Will, is Xander down there?"

"No, I thought he was up there? What's wrong Buff?"

Buffy came running down the stairs. She opened the hall closet and 
grabbed two large sports bags, throwing one to Willow.

"We'll just have to do without him." She looked at her lover. "I had 
a dream that someone is trying to open the Hellmouth! We've gotta 
pack supplies and get moving!" Willow nodded and started to gather 
her magic supplies while Buffy grabbed weapons.

"Where's Xander?" asked Giles as he came down the stairs buttoning 
his shirt.

"He's not here and we've gotta go without him." Buffy said as she 
hauled the bag of weapons on her shoulder and made for the door. The 
other two followed her to the car and they headed to the school.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

They pulled up in front of the ruined school. The new school was 
being rebuilt on the ruins of the old one and workers had begun to 
clear some of the wreckage. Buffy pulled out a crossbow and a large 
sword and made toward the destroyed library. As they clambered 
through the rubble they saw a figure standing in the blackened 
library. It was chanting something and holding a candle that burned 
with a flickering green flame.

Buffy could sense that whatever the ritual was being performed was 
almost complete. Desperately she fired her crossbow at the figure. 

Too late.

The figure let out an inhuman wail and disappeared in a flash of blue 
light. The crossbow bolt passed through the space where the figure 
stood and struck the wrecked wall of the library. The earth beneath 
them gave a small shudder and then went quiet.

Buffy, Willow, and Giles stood waiting for the Hellmouth to open and 
the horror to begin. But there was nothing except a sense of calm 
that none had ever experienced before. After a few minutes Buffy 
looked at the others.

"I guess they must have gotten the spell wrong." Buffy remarked.

"Don't be so hasty in such pronouncements." Giles reminded her. "We 
must find out who or what that was and what they were trying to do."

Buffy and Willow nodded as the three of them searched the rubble for 
clues. Giles' voice rang out. "Over here, I found something."

The two converged on Giles who was holding a piece of paper. Willow 
instantly recognised Xander's chicken scratching style of handwriting.


Everyone take hold of the wand for an explanation.
Xander.


At their feet was a wand, about 2 foot in length and covered in 
intricate carvings. Willow picked it up and held it out before her. 
The others placed their hands on the wand. What came next was a 
shock. The instant the three had placed their hands on the wand an 
image of Xander appeared in their minds.

"Guys" he said with his patented smile. "You're probably wondering 
what's going on here. I think first you should know the real me. The 
parts that I've kept hidden from you. What you are about to 
experience is all my thoughts and memories. Don't worry about getting 
overloaded. Your minds will filter out everything except for the 
really important things. And don't worry about missing anything 
because you can call upon all the memories as if they were your own 
by using this wand. So sit back and relax and enjoy the show."

A flood of images assailed them. They could see what Xander had seen, 
feel what he had felt, all the defining moments of his life. The 
first time he and Willow met as kids they felt his joy and happiness. 
They felt and saw the happy times that Willow, Xander, and Jesse had 
experienced together. They experienced the sadness and hurt of 
Xander's home life. The abuse of his parents and of the other kids.

They saw Xander crash into the rail the first time he saw Buffy. They 
felt the sadness as the vampire that was Jesse crumble to dust in 
front of Xander. They could feel and experience all the highs and 
lows of his life. They could begin to understand what Xander was all 
about. They saw the bravery as he stared down Jack O'Toole over the 
bomb down in the basement while everyone fought above him, unaware of 
Xander's battle to save them.

They saw all the times Xander had laid it out on the line for them. 
Some of the things they knew about, most they didn't. They saw all 
the things that he had done to hurt them and the pain of his regret. 
They saw the things that they had done that had hurt him. There was 
an awful lot of that. Buffy's rejection, Willow choosing Oz over him, 
Giles drugging Buffy for her test. Their attitude that Xander could 
only get himself hurt. Buffy's inability to kill Angelus. Willow and 
Buffy ignoring him after they went to college. Losing Willow's love 
and friendship. The lack of sympathy after Anya left him.

But the strongest feeling they got was love. His love for Giles as 
the father he wished he had. His love for Buffy and Willow, his 
willingness to die to protect them.

The kaleidoscope of images, thoughts and feelings ended and Xander 
stood before them in their minds again.

"OK. You enjoy? That is Alexander Harris, the good, the bad, the 
ugly. It also brings us to a few weeks back. After we beat those 
demons that were trying to open the Hellmouth, I got thinking about 
how one of these days somebody is going to be too powerful for us and 
we end up dead. So one day I went to see Willow to see if there was a 
spell to lock the Hellmouth forever.

"I was going to climb through the window when I noticed Buffy and 
Willow, well you guys know what you were doing."

"It kind of hurt me. You two had found each other and all that. Don't 
get me wrong, I'm really happy that you two did find each other. But 
I also knew that I no longer had a place in your lives and in your 
hearts. I was no longer your love, no longer your best friend, no 
longer the one you'd seek in times of danger. You can look after each 
other a lot better than I ever could. But I also knew that one day 
your happiness would be shattered when some evil comes and takes one 
of you away. I couldn't let that happen.

"You know how I went to LA to see Cordy? Well I went there to see her 
and find out how to get in contact with the Powers That Be. I went 
before them and asked them to help me close the Hellmouth forever. 
They said there was no way to do that. I begged and demanded that 
they help me. I told them why I wanted it. Finally they told me of a 
way to seal it for long enough. All it required was a little 
sacrifice.

"Me.

"Willow. Buffy. You both know that as long as the Hellmouth can be 
opened it will draw all kinds of evil to it and one day either of you 
will be killed fighting it. That would kill the other. You two 
deserve to have a full life together. You deserve to grow old 
together. But you can't as long as the Hellmouth can be opened.

"So I've sealed it. For a hundred years. Not only can't it be opened 
it also cuts off the mystical, evil energy it radiates. The bonus is 
that vampires and all sorts of evil creatures will be weakened by the 
loss of the evil power so it will be easier to kill them. But it's 
only for a hundred years. After that, it'll be able to be opened 
again and the evil power will return restoring the strength of the 
evil things.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't seal it forever but I think that a hundred 
years should be long enough for you to live full and happy lives 
together. I'm sorry that I won't be around to see your lives, but 
look on the up side. I won't be around to screw them up either." 
Xander smiled that smile which always seemed to make people feel 
better. But this time all it brought was tears from the three.

"I've written a will for all my stuff. You guys get to keep it all if 
you want it. But to each of you I leave a gift.

"Giles you will get to see the Slayer that you call your own daughter 
live a full and happy life. Look after them for me, will ya?

"Buffy. Willow. I give you each other. I give you the chance for a 
life together. Make the most of it. And please don't forget me." a 
tear rolled down his cheek. 

"Willow. I know that if I'm beginning to cry then you must be 
drowning in tears by now." Xander's face lit up. 

"I've got to go now but this should cheer you up a bit."

The image of Xander began to bounce and hop around, his limbs going 
all over the place. He smiled and gave a little wave as his image 
faded from their minds. Willow dropped to the ground laughter and 
tears contorting her face. She felt the embrace of Giles and Buffy as 
they came together to comfort her and each other.

"The Snoopy Dance. He did the Snoopy Dance for me." Willow sobbed.

As the three held each other the sun rose over the east, casting its 
light on what was the first day of their new lives.



Willow: "It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."
Buffy:  "I kinda love you."
                     'Choices'

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